A Very Normal Meeting (TLDP Chap 33)

Game

Thoughts

“Talking”

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Are we… are we seriously doing this again?” Naruto sighed as he sat up in his bed, glancing around the room.

“Doing what?” Azazel asked innocently, not meeting Naruto’s eyes as he whistled. The Fallen Angel was sitting in a chair next to Naruto’s bed.

“I’m not sure either,” Sirzechs nodded sagely at Naruto, the man sitting on the other side of his bed, “Can a man not visit his best friend in the morning, Naruto-chan?”

“Yeah, I don’t know what you mean, Naru-chan!” Serafall nodded enthusiastically, the woman actually sitting cuddled up to Naruto, “I’m always here!”

“I wasn’t talking about you,” Naruto deadpanned, looking at the female Maou in his bed, “I meant literally everyone else.”

“We’re having a meeting,” Michael said bluntly, the angel being honest.

Naruto’s bedroom was filled to the brim again, and not just from the usual occupants. Some of them were also there - as Yasaka, Katerea, Rias, Serafall, Shirone, Kuroka, and Ophis were currently varying levels of clothed as they lay under his huge blanket.

The unusual guests consisted of Michael, Sirzechs, and Azazel, along with their escorts of Grayfia, Irinia and Xenovia, and Raynare. And, considering that they were the three leaders of the factions, it became apparent what was going on.

“What meeting?” Naruto groaned, “Didn’t we already establish world peace and all that junk? What else do we need to meet about?”

“The terrorist organization that tried to blow up the meeting,” Yasaka answered helpfully, and Naruto blinked.

Oh, that’s actually a good point. That probably is pretty important.

“Indeed, this is a threat we must consider carefully,” The final faction leader in the room was someone Naruto knew well, and someone he definitely didn’t think should be in charge of dealing with a world-threatening terrorist organization. “Worry not, my friends. Gandalf will handle this.”

Naruto looked dryly at Odin, who still believed he was Gandalf, as the man sat by the corner of Naruto’s bed.

There are only three sides, so he’s just sitting in the corner.

The leader of Asgard was nestled between Azazel and Sirzechs’ chairs, making the already ridiculous sight even more ridiculous.

But they’ll definitely realize that he’s calling himself a movie character and-

“I like the codename idea, Gandalf,” Sirzechs grinned at Odin’s words instead of questioning it, “Should I pick one as well?”

“No,” Naruto said bluntly, but things never went his way.

Persuasion Check

[Rolling…]

[God’s Luck] has added [ERROR]

Your [LEGENDARY] Debuff - [Bad Timing] has deactivated your [God’s Luck] Perk!

1!

Check failed!

“I’m glad you’re on board, Naruto-chan!” Sirzechs nodded with a pleased grin, “Then, I shall be… Red-Haired Devanks!”

Naruto stared at him incredulously, “What?”

How did he possibly come up with such a stupid name?

“Oooooh! Like, Devanks from Devil Piece!” Serafall cheered, clapping lightly at Sirzechs, “Me next! Me next! I’ll be…”

Serafall’s face squished in thought, and the woman looked like she was genuinely thinking hard about what to make her codename. 

“You guy’s don’t need to-”

“MAGICAL GIRL LEVI-TAN!” Serafall cheered, thrusting her fist in the air, nearly hitting Naruto in the face and causing her large breasts to jiggle in the process.

“...That was already your nickname,” Naruto said dryly, and Serafall nodded proudly.

“It’s a great nickname, right?!”

“Then I will be… Dojo!” Azazel butted into the conversation, grinning smugly at his own name.

“Dojo?” Naruto raised an eyebrow at him blandly, “Like, where you go to train?”

“No, like, the guy,” Azazel continued to grin smugly, “Dojo Devtoru! I’ve been told we look alike. We’re both pretty good-looking, right?”

Seriously, what did devils NOT make here?

“Um, Az-chan, I don’t know how to tell you this…” Serafall looked apologetically at Azazel, “But Dojo is handsome - not like Naru-chan levels of handsome, but still pretty handsome - while you’re… Az-chan.”

“W-What is that supposed to mean?!”

“Now, now, guys, we should stop with these nicknames and get to the important matter at hand,” Michael interrupted, smiling pleasantly, and Naruto was thankful the man was there.

I’m so glad someone reasonable is here!

“What should my codename be?” Michael continued, and Naruto facefaulted.

Seriously?!

“No, we do need to get this meeting underway,” Yasaka butted in, her face deathly serious as she brought the attention of the room to her, “Naruto-chan’s time is very important. You can think of codenames later, so don’t waste his time now!”

See, this is why I love her-

“As Naruto-chan’s wife, the only person whose codename should be decided now is me!” Yasaka smirked, slamming her hands down on the bed dramatically, “What about ‘Sexy Fox Queen?’ I think it’s quite elegant!”

“It’s terrible,” Serafall wrinkled her nose at Yasaka’s idea.

“W-What? I don’t want to hear anything from you, ‘Magical Girl Levi-tan!’” Yasaka made her voice higher-pitched at the end, making it clear she was mocking Serafall.

“W-Why did you say it like that?! Magical Girl Levi-tan is a superstar-”

“Enough!” Surprisingly, it was Rias who interrupted this time, the woman’s tone taking an authoritative tone, “Naruto-chan’s time is very valuable, and he’s clearly not amused by any of this!”

Naruto blinked, looking over at Rias with grateful eyes.

Ah, she really does get me- 

“And I need you all to leave so we can have our morning sex, so be quiet!” Rias finished, and Naruto’s smile faltered.

“Ah, that’s true,” Sirzechs nodded sagely, “Naruto-chan needs to create strong children to carry on the Gremory bloodline, so it would be wise to get to the main point of this meeting. The Khaos Brigade.”

Well, not how I expected to get there, but I won’t complain.

“I say we build a very large tower,” Odin-Gandalf started, nodding sagely at Sirzechs words, “Then, I will stand on top of the tower, and proclaim that they can’t pass.”

Okay, now they have to realize that he’s roleplaying as a movie character-

“That’s a good idea, Gan-chan!” Serafall cheered, clapping happily again, “They’ll be super intimidated, and then they’ll run away! That’s genius!”

“No, we are not building a huge tower,” Naruto said dryly.

Why do I have an ominous feeling?

Persuasion Check

[Rolling…]

[God’s Luck] has added [ERROR]

Your [LEGENDARY] Debuff - [Bad Timing] has deactivated your [God’s Luck] Perk!

1!

Check failed!

Oh, that’s why.

“The tower will be massive, Naru-chan!” Serafall nodded rapidly, her cheeks puffed out cutely, “As massive as your big meaty coc-”

“Okay, we get it!” Naruto quickly cut her off with a sigh, “Ignoring the tower idea, what do we know about the Khaos Brigade? Do we have any intel about their members and goals?”

The first step to winning a battle is having information.

Naruto was well-experienced with both gathering information and using it to win battles.

“Oh, I know all of that!” Katerea raised her hand helpfully.

“Okay, that’s a good start-” Naruto blinked, cutting himself off, “Wait, you know all of that?”

“Yup,” Katarea nodded, “I’m a member of the Khaos Brigade, remember?”

Oh, right. She did blow up my ceiling that one time.

“Woah… Naru-chan saw this far ahead…” Serafall muttered, staring at Naruto with stars in her eyes, “Naru-chan can see the future…”

What is she talking about?

“W-Wait, you’re right…” Yasaka’s eyes also went wide, staring at Naruto in awe, “I was wondering why you were willing to purify the underworld and risk battling the devils all those years ago! It was to lead up to this!”

“...right?” Naruto looked at her, doing his best to keep his face emotionless. “All just as I planned…”

What did I plan?

“Y-You’re right,” This time it was Grayfia, who was standing dutifully behind Sirzechs with an equal look of awe on her face, “Naruto-sama knew that by purifying the underworld, it would drive out most of the devils, but that the Old Satan Faction would be too stubborn to leave!”

“And then, you took advantage of their stubbornness and took Katerea as a sex slave to use her against the Khaos Brigade later on,” Azazel finished, looking at Naruto with an impressed face, “I knew you were a genius, Naruto-chan, but this is even more than I expected.”

Naruto just looked at him blankly.

I didn’t plan any of that. It was literally all a coincidence.

“Which Naru-chan knew would happen because he can see the future!” Serafall cheered, and Naruto finally couldn’t even try to hold up the facade.

“Ok, I definitely can’t see the future,” Naruto deadpanned, “Don’t expect me to look into the future for anything.”

If they started relying on me to have information I didn't have, then that could mess everything up!

Persuasion Check

[Rolling…]

[God’s Luck] has added [ERROR]

Your [LEGENDARY] Debuff - [Bad Timing] has deactivated your [God’s Luck] Perk!

1!

Check failed!

Well, shit.

“That’s a valuable skill to have, Wise Naruto,” Odin-Gandalf nodded sagely at Naruto, “If we have future knowledge at our disposal, then we can never be at a disadvantage. What will the Khaos Brigade’s next move be?”

The whole room turned to Naruto, looking at him expectantly to share his future knowledge with them.

I don’t have any future knowledge.

“Well, I said I don’t have future knowledge,” Naruto started.

Persuasion Check

[Rolling…]

[God’s Luck] has added [ERROR]

Your [LEGENDARY] Debuff - [Bad Timing] has deactivated your [God’s Luck] Perk!

1!

Check failed!

As expected.

“But, if I had to guess,” Naruto frowned, his brow creasing as he thought for a moment, “Considering they attacked the meeting last time, I’d assume that they were going to attack this one too, right, Ophis?”

“...Why are you asking me?” Ophis asked, blinking as she glanced up at him cutely.

“You’re the leader of the Khaos Brigade,” Naruto deadpanned.

“...That is true,” She nodded, “But I do not control or know what they do.”

“You don’t?” Naruto asked dryly, “But, you’re the leader? What do you do if you don’t even know what their next move is?”

“I sit in your bedroom,” Ophis answered casually, “When they ask for power to assist in taking down Great Red, I give them snakes.”

“But, you don’t keep tabs on whether they’re actually trying to take down Great Red or not?” Naruto deadpanned, and Ophis just nodded as if she didn’t see a problem with that.

“They told me they would,” She looked up at him cutely, tilting her head, “Why would they not do it after saying they would?”

Y’know, for an ancient Dragon God who could probably destroy the entire world, she’s kind of precious.

“Katerea, what intel do you know?” Naruto turned from the cute ancient woman, looking at Katerea again.

“Right, I know a lot,” Katerea nodded sagely, and Naruto grinned.

Great, something’s working out for once!

“14.2 inches long, 7.55 inches thick,” Katerea started, and Naruto blinked at her words, “Enjoys being on top most of the time, but can be goaded into being a bottom by the right women or situation-”

“W-What the hell are you saying?!” Naruto flushed, cutting off the woman as he realized what she was saying.

“I’m telling you my intel,” Katerea said as if it were obvious, not seeing the issue.

“The intel about the Khaos Brigade,” Naruto groaned, pinching his nose, “Not about me in the bedroom!”

“I-Is he truly that large?” Rossweisse, who was standing behind Odin as his escort - despite being ditched by the man a few days prior - asked with a beet-red face, “T-That’s like a python! How am I ever going to…”

“I felt like I was going to die the first time, but you’ll get used to it,” Yasaka comforted her, and Naruto had to push away another headache.

“Okay, enough talking about my dick,” He sighed, “Katerea, the intel? T-The intel about the Khaos Brigade!”

That’s crazy that I have to clarify that! We were talking about the Khaos Brigade - how did my dick even come to mind?!

“Right,” Katerea nodded, “At the last meeting, they did say something about making contact with the Norse God of Mischief - Loki.”

“Loki?!” Odin-Gandalf shouted loudly, leaning forward dramatically as he frowned, “...Never heard of him.”

“He’s a Norse God,” Naruto deadpanned, “And you're, like, the leader of those guys, right? How have you not heard of him?”

“Norse God? No, I’m Gandalf,” Odin-Gandalf explained easily, and Naruto groaned as the third headache that day formed.

I’m sorry again, Kakashi. I take back every prank I played.

…

Alright, maybe not every prank, but at least half of them!

…

Maybe a tenth of them?

“Well, I’m glad you're so confident about this, Gandalf,” Sirzechs nodded, grinning lightly as he used Odin’s ‘codename,’ “That’s what you mean, right? With Naruto-chan on our side, Loki is so insignificant that it’s as if you’ve never heard of him!”

That’s definitely not what he meant.

“Yeah! Stupid Loki is going to feel Naru-chan’s power!” Serafall cheered along happily, and Naruto just sighed, turning back to Katerea.

“Alright, so what’s their plan with Loki?” He asked, and Katerea stared back at him blankly.

“...Their plan?”

“Y-Yeah, like, what are they contacting him about?” Naruto clarified, “Just to bring him into the Khaos Brigade, or to coordinate an attack, or to betray Asgard? What’s their plan?”

Katerea just stared blankly at him again, “...Their plan?”

You have got to be kidding me!

“You were at the meeting, right? You just said you heard them talking about contacting him at the meeting!” Naruto asked incredulously, “So, what else did they say?! What’s the rest of the plan?!”

“...The plan?”

“Stop repeating that!”

“W-Well, the meeting was right after our attack during the last meeting, so…” Katerea blushed, not meeting Naruto’s eyes as she looked away innocently, “I was really sad about not being able to be in your bed for so many days, so I wasn’t really paying attention…”

Naruto just stared at her with dead eyes.

…I’m surrounded by idiots. Is this how Sakura felt during our missions?

…

Nah, we were all idiots. She couldn’t be that pissed.

“Alright, well, we should assume they’re going to attack at an important event,” Naruto pushed away his annoyance. “So, if it’s not at this meeting, then we should try to narrow down when it’ll be.”

“Oh! Oh! I know! I know!” Serafall raised her hand and waved it like a schoolgirl answering a teacher, “The next big event is the annual ‘Naru-chan full harem orgy!’ It’ll be in a few weeks, so they’ll definitely attack then!”

Naruto stared at her blankly.

How does she even think of that? Only Serafall would believe-

“You’re right,” Rias nodded sagely, “You’re so wise, Levi-tan! That’d be the perfect moment to strike!”

“I-I agree!” Raynare snuck into the conversation, nodding rapidly, “They want to take Naruto-sama’s big meat from us! We can’t let that happen!”

“They are not going to attack during an orgy,” Naruto deadpanned at the women, “They’d do it at a major event! Like, a faction meeting, or a peace conference, or a battle! Not during an orgy!”

Persuasion Check

[Rolling…]

[God’s Luck] has added [ERROR]

Your [LEGENDARY] Debuff - [Bad Timing] has deactivated your [God’s Luck] Perk!

1!

Check failed!

Well, I guess they are now.

“You’re right, Naruto-chan,” Azazel nodded, smiling lazily at Naruto’s words, “They’ll do it when we least expect it! During your orgy is the perfect time! Oh, on that note, one of my subordinates, Benemue, asked if she could be invited this year?”

“I’ll put her on the waiting list,” Yasaka nodded at Azazel’s request, and Naruto just groaned.

When did me having sex become a global event?! It’s my bedroom, not the World Cup! And why is there a waiting list?!

“Whatever, let’s just get ahead of them,” Naruto sighed, “Do we know where this Loki guy usually is? If we can take him down before they make their move, then-”

“I’m right here, Youkai God!” Abruptly, Naruto’s bedroom’s roof started to glow with a bright blue light. Then, it exploded.

Well, not actually exploded, but the way it was ripped upward, exposing the group to the stars in the sky above as a bright blue light filled the room, made it look like it had been.

Now, there was a man floating in the sky above them. He had a thin face, was wearing golden earrings, and had long blue hair flowing behind him. He was wearing a long white robe-like coat, along with tight gray pants and a belt around his waist.

Even more notable than the man, there was a massive wolf-like creature next to him. It had a mixture of gray and black fur, a fierce-looking face with sharp teeth, and two horns sticking out of its sides.

“I take it that’s Loki?” Naruto asked, pointing up at the floating man blandly.

“No, Naru-chan, I think that one is Loki!” Serafall countered, pointing at the wolf-esque creature, “The doggy feels stronger!”

The dog is definitely not Loki! It’s not a dog either!

“Why have you come here, Loki?!” Odin-Gandalf shouted, pointing up at the God of Mischief dramatically, “...if that’s who you are, of course. We can’t be sure.”

That’s definitely who he is!

“I came here to kill you, Youkai God!” Loki shouted just as dramatically, smirking down at the group of faction leaders, “As well as you, Odin! I’ll start Ragnarok with your death!”

“Ooh! I like rocks! Especially pretty ones!”

“N-No, Serafall-chan, Ragnarok is a world-ending event,” Rias clarified for the Maou, who frowned at her words.

“Lame!”

“Ignoring the rocks,” Naruto pushed past Serafall’s words, shouting up at Loki, “Why are all you people so confident? You know that this room is full of some of the strongest people in the world, right!?”

Naruto was reminded once again of a certain former teammate's invasion of a meeting between leaders. 

At least last time Katerea came with a bunch of reinforcements, and they had the whole ‘Vali-betrayal’ plan. This Loki guy just came with a do- a wolf!

“You’ll see why soon, Youkai God!” Loki grinned widely, gesturing to the wolf behind him, “This is Fenrir! His fangs and claws are so powerful that he can kill a god with just one bite! Just touching his claws or fangs is deadly to a god! He’s one of the ten strongest beings in the whole universe!”

Well, way to give away your trump card.

Naruto blinked at his words, actually becoming a bit cautious, “If that’s true, then we need to take this seriously!”

If that wolf can really kill someone just by biting them, then I at least shouldn’t mess around. Being careless could get somebody killed!

Naruto wasn’t all that concerned about himself, but while there was a huge number of powerful people at the meeting, there was also the much weaker presence of people like Rias, Raynare, Shirone, etc.

“Alright, I’ll take down the wolf personally!” Naruto grinned, pushing himself up as he stood on his bed, “I’ll trust you guys to handle-”

“W-What are you doing, Naruto-chan?! Get down!” Naruto was swiftly pulled back down from behind as Yasaka wrapped her arms around him. She dragged him down, pulling his head back into her massive breasts.

“Huh?” Naruto asked blankly, staring up at her from the boob-pillow.

“He’s your weakness, Naru-chan!” Serafall agreed, suddenly lunging on top of him as she landed coincidentally right on his crotch next to Ophis on his lap, “We’ll protect you, so leave it to us this time!”

Naruto just stared at her blankly.

“...Why is he my weakness?” Naruto asked blandly, “I know, of course, but explain it for Kiba.”

“Kiba isn’t here?” Rias muttered to his side.

“Yes he is.”

Persuasion Check

[Rolling…]

[God’s Luck] has added +20 to your roll!

[Ladies’s Man] has added +5 to your roll!

25!

Check success!

“Oh, hi Kiba!” Serafall nodded to a random pillow lying on the bed, “Well, Kiba, Fenrir’s teeth can kill a god with one bite! Since Naru-chan is the Youkai God, it’s super deadly to him!”

“But, if it could kill me in one bite, then it would also kill you all in one bite too, right?” Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow, “Is what Kiba’s thinking right now.”

“No, silly, stupid, Kiba,” Rias shook her head, “That’s an absolutely idiotic take, and you should be ashamed. The only gods here are Naruto-chan, Ophis-chan, and Gandalf. They would die in one hit, but if my brother and the other factions deal with Fenrir, they’ll be fine.”

Okay, the ‘stupid’ part was a bit uncalled for.

“Wait… it only applies to gods?” Naruto deadpanned, “It’s not so deadly that it could kill a god, but instead that it can only kill gods?”

“Yup,” Yasaka nodded, “Which is why we’ll protect you, Naruto-chan!”

“That is so stupid,” Naruto deadpanned at the explanation from Yasaka’s tit-pillow.

“T-To be clear, Fenrir’s fangs are still deadly to non-deities!” Loki said defensively from above, apparently becoming insecure from their explanation, “J-Just not as deadly!”

“Much less deadly,” Sirzechs nodded, standing up with a grin as a dark red aura surrounded him, “Leave this to us, Naruto-chan! You’re always protecting us, so let me repay the favor!”

When have I ever protected him?

“I-Ignore the rest, Fenrir! I’ll hold them off, so just target the Youkai God!” Loki ordered, and Naruto was promptly surrounded by the world's least effective shield.

“Protect Naru-chan!” Serafall ordered in response, and, instead of using her magic to defend him, instead laid flat on him in a body-shield way.

“Yes! We might not be much help against a deity, but we can at least help protect Naruto-sama!” Xenovia shouted in agreement, rushing toward his bed.

Serafall was promptly joined by multiple other women in the room, and Naruto was consumed in a blanket of breasts, butts, and soft bodies. He could barely tell what was happening around him as Rias’ thick rear pressed on the front of his face with Shirone’s smaller one, while Yasaka’s soft breasts sandwiched the side of his head, and Raynare, Serafall, Xenovia, Irina, Rossweisse, Grayfia, and many, many, more bodies flopped on top of him in a dogpile.

This has got to be the worst plan I’ve ever seen!

Considering Serafall came up with it, it wasn’t that surprising either.

Well, I hope they’re winning.

The sounds of battle raged on around him, but they were muffled by all the bodies pressing into him. Sirzechs yelled something, then an explosion rang out, then Odin-Gandalf shouted something, then there was another explosion - this continued for roughly a minute, and then a cute voice spoke from Naruto’s side.

“...I am being squished.” Ophis apparently didn’t enjoy being forced into the Naruto-shield dogpile, as she had been sitting on his lap when the plan began. Abruptly, a huge gust of wind shot outward, and all the women on top of him were flung a few feet away onto the bed. 

“...you are the reason I was squished…” Ophis said ominously, looking up at Fenrir as he was engaged in a battle with both Sirzechs and Azazel at the same time, “...you will perish…”

Ophis flicked her wrist. One second, the massive god-killing wolf was struggling to chomp his jaws around Azazel’s neck. The next, he was flung comically far into the air. He continued to travel upward, going higher and higher, until eventually he was just a speck in the vast star-filled sky.

“F-Fenrir?” Loki stuttered as his wolf was casually defeated.

“...you brought the reason I was squished…” 

One second, Loki was battling against Michael. The next, he was slammed into the ground, going straight through Naruto’s bedroom floor, the multiple floors of the building below it, and finally into a massive crater in the ground.

“Well, I suppose the battle is over,” Azazel nodded with a grin, “Good work, Dragon God.”

“...I don’t like you…”

“W-What?” 

One second, Azazel was casually floating in the air. The next, he was flung through Naruto’s bedroom wall.

Naruto glanced around his destroyed room, just sighing as he slumped back into Yasaka’s huge breasts.

“You’re going to have to pay to repair all this, Ophis.”

“I am a dragon. I do not have money.” Ophis shot him down blankly.

Well, damn.

“Don’t worry, Naru-chan, she’ll pay with her body!” Serafall said, nodding sagely.

“No, no, I’ll just-”

“I will start now.” Ophis’ clothes promptly disappeared, the dragon god uncaring of the people around them as they literally vanished into thin air, “Let us begin our love making.”

Naruto just looked at her blankly.

Well, this meeting was almost normal.

…

No the hell it wasn’t!

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Naruto Uzumaki:

[Youkai God]

Lvl: 705

STR: 920

DEX: 900

CON: 650

INT: 320

WIS: 900

CHA: 999

LUK: 0 [x[Anicent Youkai King’s 999 multiplier!] 

Skills: [Chess Mastery]

Perks: [Martial Arts], [You’re a Wizard, Naruto], [Ladies Man], [God’s Luck]

Debuffs: [Confusion], [Bad Timing]

Naruto Uzumaki is a Hero from another world, who has been reborn with the power of the Gamer system! 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: This story is back! The hiatus was longer than I expected, but from now on it’ll be updated 2-3 times a week!