“Want” has become ”should"

Uh. How long has it been since I've been in touch? Over a month? Where have I been? Well, I could say that there have been some very important things going on in my life and that's true, but I've had the last 2 weeks free and in those 2 weeks I've done.... Nothing.

First of all, I would like to apologize, but apologies are worthless. So I'll just thank those who are still with me and waiting for the new version. Thank you, without you I would have given up a long time ago.

So what happened? Well, how can I put this? Ilegals Aspects went great, everyone who rated it was happy with it, and I was very happy and planned to make a bunch of cool scenes and introduce cool characters in 0.3... And then after a while I realized that the release was scheduled to be in a couple of days, and I had about 20-40% of the text and 0 pictures ready. I had everything perfectly planned out and.... I can't do it. I have cool ideas for 0.3, but I sit down at the computer, start writing and can't.

I've previously mentioned that I have tons of ideas. Right now I have about 10 ideas for novellas/comics and a huge desire to try my hand at new formats or genres. It would seem like just do what you have planned, that's cool.... But because I have a bunch of ideas in my head all the time, when I sit down to realize one of them (no matter how cool and enjoyable what I'm doing), I feel paradoxically demotivated.

It's hard to explain, but I force myself to do something (previously it was Femdom Stories which I thought were bad, now Ilegal Aspects which seem boring) and I realize that what I'm doing right now doesn't bring me pleasure. I feel like I don't “want to make a cool thing” but “have to make a new version”. While I really like everything I have planned and prepared for 0.3, I just can't write it.

I'm afraid to do anything other than what is expected of me, for fear that the reaction will be “Huh? Is that the guy who does Femdom Stories/Ilegal Aspects? Why the hell is he doing something else? Where's the new version? Make the new chapter, you stupid dog!”, which makes me even more depressed, even though I realize it's stupid.

Anyway, I've written a lot of letters again...

- Femdom Stories and Ilegal Aspects will continue, but not this or next month.

- Kidnapped Isekai Story is closing for good, for I am not satisfied with its quality. Maybe someday I'll do a remake with a similar gist but cooler graphics.

- Three Days With Domina is also closed, I'm not satisfied with the quality of the project.

- I will now do something that many will unsubscribe from, but without which my mental state cannot be fixed. I'm going to do what I want to do and I hope you enjoy it. There will be more content and activity, but it may not be what you signed up for.

- The first thing I want to try is what I wrote about earlier. Small novells, the size of 1.5-2 of my regular updates with a short story in which I'll try to make fun and cool without fear of breaking the plot of a huge project. The first of these projects is already halfway done.