1900HOTDOG

Hot Dog Store: Mormon Doom

Added 2025-05-17 18:00:08 +0000 UTC

Real ones know the Doom Guy is Brigham Young.

Some new video game came out recently, I don’t remember what it was. But that’s irrelevant. What is relevant is this week’s shirt, a celebration of the greatest form of Mormonism of all time!

You were there back in the day. You know that stomping through Hell to kill demons is the most wholesome and anti-Satan thing a gamer can do. You should get a shirt that lets everyone else know that you know. And if they don’t know, you can let them know, you know? And don’t worry, our side-seamed, shoulder-to-shoulder taped shirts make sure that the only thing that’ll rip and tear is the damned.

Remember when The Rock was in that one movie? I don’t recall the name of it, something about being on mars or something? I think the Big Friendly Giant was there at one point? Honestly, I’m useless without my coffee. Good thing I’ve got a kickass mug I’m about to go fill up with coffee and something my kids call kettlemean? I dunno, I’m told it’s very healthy. You could have your very own kickass mug to fill with whatever you’d like! And you can even put it in the microwave and dishwasher. Isn’t that neat?

Alright, time to see what we’ve got in the vault this week. C’mon big prizes, no curses. Big prizes, no curses!

Ah, fuck.

Ventriloquist Dream Date was too powerful of a Teamworking Day article, and has raised the ire of puppet week!

The only way to prevent another puppet week is to delve into the vaults and purchase one of these shirts in memoriam of all who perished. Beware of cannibals (not pictured), and remember to keep your hand at your neck. You may want to choke yourself if any of the puppets see you, because you don’t want to be awake for what’ll happen next.