Hot Dog Appreciation Day: 49 Dogs Deep

Welcome, 🌭s, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. We know it so hard that we bathe together in a tub shaped like the Cool S.

But this isn’t about us. This is about you. Did you know you’re awesome? Because you are. We have proof!

First let’s check in on Sissyneck Corner, where all a man needs is a good pair of Wranglers and maybe a backup pair of Lees in case of emergencies.

Now let’s move on to the Comments where recent events have our community grappling with God and their place in the universe.

Frankie has just realized the almighty is fallible, and there are some contests even he can lose.

While Devin has accepted the Holy Trinity…

(God has three tits like the hooker in Total Recall.)

Vinegar Tom finds optimism in a strange place, and that strange place is Isabella Rossellini’s insect vagina.

While LyraV just now realized she’s part of an unapproachable black hole of comedy density that rips conventional punchlines into spaghetti strands and pulls them across time.

No context will be provided. Buy! That! Grave! The! Mug!

Now on to the Discord, where thanks in part to that whole black hole thing, we’ve been struggling to define our community in a market appropriate way. But now Cyberzone and ProseAndKahn have finally given us a catchy slogan that explains everything.

Thrillho fucked up and put the Shaq gummy head up to a lightsource. We did that so you didn’t have to! If you can see it, it can see you!

Agent of Fortune has a quick but vital Feldman Update:

Mo has a quick Feldman Update Update:

One of the best things about joining a cult is the hive mind you’ll slowly form with your fellow cultists. There’s barely a need to speak. Why, you could just communicate through dance…

ProfessorRocketsurgeon has to amend the entire English language just to explain the 1900HOTDOG effect.

Oh shit, that’s almost context! Time makes fools of us all.

Mo is our resident comic strip curator.

Rooster is our resident comic strip destroyer. Good museums need both!

Society has been roasting Steve Bannon for decades now, but somehow the motherfucker is still not up to temp. You cannot consume undercooked Bannon. He is mostly parasites.

Everyone shines in a Great Annual Hot Dog Drag, but TheOneTheyCall Bruce truly found their calling here, and unfortunately it’s dunking on Steve Bannon - something God does better every single day.

Longmile told his suspiciously human wife about the Hot Dog Discord, and without any more information, she captured the vibe perfectly.

Skebotron knows what the GenZ kids are into: Drunken PowerPoint presentations.

All throughout this Hot Dog Appreciation Day, we’ve joked about how hard our site is to understand to a newcomer. Skebotron’s the only one who went out and did something about it.

Check out his excellent full hot dog breakdown here!

Skebotron, we haven’t been able to do that in five years of business. You are obviously the winner, and for that, we present you with this photo of Jackie Chan looking bashfully proud of his adorable little outfit.

Not only is Jackie Chan one of the most dangerous martial artists in the world, but he’s an international celebrity brand. It would destroy his image if this ever got out, bankrupting literally thousands of employees. We haven’t given you a gift, we just put a target on your back. If he finds out you have this, you will be found dead in a room with only a stepladder, two buckets, and a fish. Stay safe out there, and remember we will need it back next month. There’s only one!

You folks are, as always, the best. And if anyone ever questions that, you call us. We’ll create a detailed PowerPoint presentation about their many sexual flaws.