Hot Dog Appreciation Day: A Blessing of Clown Pregnancies

Welcome, 🌭s, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. We know it so hard that we actually have something of an embarrassing emergency here involving a Chinese Finger Trap. If any of you are doctors and are NOT narcs, hit us up.

But this isn’t about us. This is about you. Did you know you’re awesome? Because you are. We have proof!

First let’s check in on Sissyneck Corner, where our boy knows how to fuckin’ party like it’s 1987 in Jacksonville, Florida.

In her article on the tiny dollhouse accessories serial killers buy, Lydia Bugg made the grave mistake of implying no doll comes equipped with a cellar door. It’s the only time we’ve seen Sissyneck mad.

Now let’s move on to the Comments. It’s long been said that around here, every day is Upsetting Day. Andrew has a positive spin on that!

Vooster brings back our usual spin, though.

Y’all are running around bigfoot-LARPing without a care in the world, but Kevin Lynch is the only one out here worried about the environment.

To get rid of the AIMS team all you need is socialized medicine, but to get rid of socialized medicine you do need hellhounds again. You see the problem.

Marcy saw a horse!

Sorry, that’s dyslexia. Marcy was a horse!

Skebotron is doing Rebel Moon but with more character growth and fewer inanimate husks with cold, dead eyes.

RGandhl3k comes to us with a dire clown warning. That’s redundant, all clowns are a dire warning.

Bicken Bones has seen the game behind the game.

Alright, that’s enough about clowns. “Speak of a clown too oft and they shall appear,” that’s in the Bible. Jesus said that.

Matt Edwards understands that over time, goalposts must be moved.

JPR776 needs this win. It is the only time JPR776 will ever be able to use this word in its proper context:

Now on to the Discord, where Chloe knows how to fuckin’ party like it’s 1977 also in Jacksonville, Florida.

And now, on the totally opposite end of the spectrum, please enjoy Beatos, Thrillho, and FancyShark in: A Scale Model of Despair.

We lied.

Delta brought us another clown. That’s okay. All clowns are both a warning and a lie.

Mo has been semi-professionally hating on Charles Boyce for a long time now, but even he has a line. And that line is “astrodites.”

There’s a longstanding Discord meme that every single comic strip is made better when the last two panels are replaced with an Altered Beast comic. A Flock of Seacows will now attempt to prove it.

Then they realize it would be further improved by adding an entry wound, and they prove it again.

That attention to detail is literally the only thing separating a shitposter from an artist.

Noiretoon was overcome by the rich visual tapestry of our Gorilla Flow Director’s Cut podcast, and drew this:

Thrillho was overcome by the arctic tragedy of Captain Al Cohol, and made this:

Adrienne was enthralled by the allure of the Dogg Boyzz and simply had to cross stitch this:

Meanwhile, Rob is watching everyone put effort and care into creating beauty, and decided to put neither of those things into creating destruction.

Here’s the link if you want to watch Don Diebel’s big ol’ bouncing titties (you don’t).

The greatest thing you can do, as a member of this community, is use whatever platform you have to spread awareness of the site. Even if that platform is seemingly at odds with everything we do. Like, say your platform is an army of enterprising copper thieves. It still helps!

Just ask local lunatic and Money Tower creator, John Fenley:

We called him “the Batman of used CD storage” and followed it up with a GIF of Fenley ripping his crotch on a fire hydrant. And he still reposted it.

Those are the actions of a champion, and for that, John Fenley, you are this month’s winner! Please guard this photo of deadly martial arts master Jackie Chan looking bashfully proud of his cute little outfit.

There is surely only one image like this in existence. It would ruin Jackie’s reputation if it ever got out. You are going to have to protect it better than the 4,000 Smash Mouth CDS you leave heaped in your abandoned warehouse of crime.

You folks are, as always, the best. And if anyone ever questions that, you call us. We’ll leave our clown eggs in ‘em. “For now we are all clown.”

-Jesus Christ

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