Hot Dog Appreciation Day: The Grifter Wormhole

Welcome, 🌭s, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. We know it so hard we have a secret dance that merges us body and soul, more than doubling our powers. But this isn’t about us. This is about you. Did you know you’re awesome? Because you are. We have proof!

First let’s check in on Sissyneck Corner, where the local bookmobile has a picture of him by the discount mysteries with “MAY NEED SPECIAL HELP” written on it.

Sissyneck recently trusted us with his worst fears (apes; ape arson; ape-based molestation by-proxy), but honestly there were some warning signs.

Sissyneck may have come to us mistakenly thinking we were a tubed-meat-of-the-month club, but he’s found a home here. Doesn’t mean he’s given up on those luxury sausage dreams though…

Now let’s move on to the Comments where Mike has cultivated a special set of clown knowledge his parents never believed would come in handy. Who’s laughing now, Mike’s parents? That’s right: The clowns. It’s their job.

Dave Dalrymple knows where the beautiful odyssey of every internet conman is going…

Skebotron was replying to- you know what? It doesn’t matter. This needs no context.

LyraV learned about the Sixth Law of Carnodynamics the hard way:

Rev dragged British grifter-magician S Rob so hard he better check his dreams for dog-headed men.

And Matthew may be dealing with some kind of PTCD.

That’s actually a perfect segue to the Discord, where Vooster and the Ladies of Hot Dog are syncing up their menstrual cycles.

Our understanding of these things is a little limited, but this is how you power up your coven’s spellcasting, right? This was the plot of Charmed?

Fatamatician brings us the long-awaited sequel to the BEST and ONLY hot dog-based discord community undersea hospital dramedy.

Danny Nailer knew the one thing we all wanted to see after the second Mountain Monsters podcast. No, not actual bigfoot. Don’t be stupid. Everyone knows all bigfeet shift between dimensions so they can never be seen. We talking Squatch/Off, son!

You already know the stories about Vatetie Pepe, the shirt that might have never been, that might be again. But did you miss the rest of Mo’s Pepe Squad?

Vatetie Pepe might be the harbinger, but Vopcat the Poople, Pee Vopte Voltale, and Peepcie Volce are the Three Horsemen of the Popocalypse.

Were you there for the many memes Fatamatician made of this vampire-on-vampire ghost exorcist ice cream man?

We can’t imagine a more perfect encapsulation of Hot Doggery: Fatamatician is making memes of the shirt we made of the meme monster Mo made a robot make after Adrienne fed another robot a text description of the original meme monster, Popsicle Pete. There’s no way to even approach explaining those images to somebody who wasn’t present for every single step of their creation: That’s the perfect joke structure! That’s the most succinct way to summarize 1900HOTDOG!

Oh wait no, this is:

Now it’s time to announce a winner! It can’t be Brett, we’re sick of him winning with every single piece of artwork he creates! So it’s Fatamatician! Never think you’re second best: You took a joke so far over the event horizon it opened a portal to hell and brought back only madness.

That makes you the new custodian of the Grace Jones Sexual Raiden Photo!

Let’s… I guess let’s see how our last winner, Mo, defiled her.

Wait, what? Did Mo add in that overstuffed trash can in the background, lending the classy photo a bizarrely incongruous unease? I’ll check the original – no, no that was already there! Holy shit, Mo, you preserved her! You’re the best!

The rest of you folks remain, as ever, also the best. And if anyone ever questions that, you call us. We’ll make them taste of our pop.

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If these images are borked, you can read this article and every other one on the much better in every way 1900HOTDOG.COM.