Podcasting Day: The Hulk Text Adventure Game, with Ali Fisher and Carly Monardo! 🌭
Added 2021-12-01 13:00:05 +0000 UTC
You’re in for a treat, fans of comedy and high adventure! This week we’re joined by Ali Fisher and Carly Monardo from Rude Tales of Magic and Oh These, Those Stars of Space. You’re in for a savage disappointment, fans of logic and coherence! We’re playing Marvel Questprobe’s The Hulk.
In 1984, Marvel Comics launched an ambitious series of 12 text-adventure games complete with tie-in comic book lines starring their flagship characters. It was a huge release not to be taken lightly, so they teamed up with a company called Adventure Interactive run by Scott Adams, total lunatic.
For the very first installment in this massive crossover event, he chose to build a text-based puzzle adventure game starring… The Hulk. You know, the character who solves all puzzles with smashing, and can barely speak? Scott Adams then designed a tiny looping meta-prison and set him off on a psychedelic non-adventure about gem collecting and digging holes. It never went anywhere near sense, and it gassed you every time you tried to use your Hulk powers.
That was the best way Scott Adams’ broken brain knew to communicate his plight to the outside world. This was not a game, it was a plea for help filtered through the corrupted logic centers of a man who’d almost certainly been poisoned by the dangerous metals inside early home computers. Here are all the images you’ll need to decipher the visual code he uses to beg for death.
Don’t forget to dig us a hole (that’s mercury poisoning for subscribe) and then ants attack eyes (cadmium poisoning for review).
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If these images are borked, you can read this article and every other one on the much better in every way 1900HOTDOG.COM.
Comments
28:39 No, with the pyramid it's more like an Asia album cover https://thatmixtapewillrock.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/asia-alpha-2.jpg
Daphne Lawless
2021-12-02 22:33:06 +0000 UTCI did know this was a thing. Does knowing a thing doom me to pervert hell?
kerry budding
2021-12-02 00:01:22 +0000 UTCI HAVE seen FATAL! It's like a person saw his dad fucking an algebra book when he was six and this game is how he dealt with the trauma.
Flippant Sausage
2021-12-01 23:57:04 +0000 UTCRetun to Zooooork!
kerry budding
2021-12-01 23:49:38 +0000 UTCHave you ever seen FATAL (From Another Time, Another Land)?It’s an RPG that actually does have stats for the size of your genitals and the depth and circumference of your orifices, so you have the appropriate modifiers when you’re raping your way through Conanworld.
Chris “Ace” Hendrix
2021-12-01 21:51:06 +0000 UTCI really hope the next Marvel vs Capcom includes an infinite hole digging loop for Hulk so I can hear Yipes chanting "Dig! Dig!"
Zach Harrison
2021-12-01 21:07:07 +0000 UTCAlso gonna permit myself a moment of old manness, and grumble that I miss when D&D had a need for charts to consult for robot anal. Kids these days just have to look on their character sheet for the appropriate skill modifier and roll a D20 after their DM decides what is most relevant, so the only question is "How complex do you want to make anal and what skills are involved?" and then you throw a bag of doritos at the DM because you're fucking a robot's ass and Animal Handling is obviously the wrong answer.
Flippant Sausage
2021-12-01 17:35:14 +0000 UTCI'll be honest, I had forgotten about this specific game, and The Incredible Hulk was not the first Hulk I thought of in the context, and I got kind of excited thinking there was a Hulk Hogan themed wrestling text adventure.
Flippant Sausage
2021-12-01 17:24:47 +0000 UTCText based games in general are a quality source of late 80s\early 90's madness in videogames. It comes from trying to guess what words a nerd hopped up on devil shrooms flavored with nacho cheese and sugary soda is thinking of. It never comes off as anything but playing a riddle game with some awful slimy thing in the bowels of the earth, but all parties are kind of deaf, don't speak the same language, and are tripping balls. And depending on what text adventure you're playing, you might see some tits.
Flippant Sausage
2021-12-01 17:23:05 +0000 UTCI had this game! Super excited to hear you dig into this stupidity
Quin Adams
2021-12-01 16:30:18 +0000 UTC…like, Dilbert creator Scott Adams? Because radioactive computer parts and monster punches would explain a LOT.
Chris “Ace” Hendrix
2021-12-01 14:13:56 +0000 UTCWell now this is a fine morning surprise: my two favorite podcasts (three if you count OTTSoS) teaming up to play the worst adventure game! Maybe December won’t suck so much after all.
Jake Withee
2021-12-01 14:09:48 +0000 UTCwell i would love to listen to this one but that bit about ants attack ears brought up some real painful scout camp memories w/r/t/ bullying w/r/t those kids from troop 486 which everyone knows they dont even have to sell popcorn to go to camp there parents just buy everything for them w/r/t/ even if they didnt mean for the ants to get in there what did they think would happen when you hogtie someone with there own merit badge sash and leave them between the dumsters so just the extra weiner for me today thanks
sissyneck
2021-12-01 13:10:28 +0000 UTC
