XaiJu
SebastianSB
SebastianSB

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NovemBear VN Game Jam Week 1

Hey everyone, here's my 11k word script for the visual novel that I'm working on this month, accompanied with an hour log video journal thing I recorded along the way.

I'm fucking exhausted. The election news was brutal, so I don't know how much I'll be recording gaming content right now.

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The current draft of the script for my visual novel (spoilers for the eventual game):

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Rb8NhhaN4u8hCddmjAyTwDrRrTkQqQ3PTlu7-mO6tF8/edit?usp=sharing

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NovemBear itchio event page: https://itch.io/jam/novembear-fvn-jam

NovemBear VN Game Jam Week 1

Comments

Have to say, if you're viewing this as a trail run to make a VN, then I think you certainly could handle the writing for it. The tone was ominous almost immediately, gripping as it goes and then full of dread as each route reaches their conclusion. Some more than others obviously. Feel like it was obvious from the start that the Leave option would be messier, but was too intrigued to not find out what was outside. Throughout your writing conveys action well and the building mania and desperation of Jack and the rest of the cast. Was a bold choice, and have to applaud it, to write a branching narrative, giving each side character their time in the spotlight. It was the story you wanted to tell, but have to imagine it was harder than just focusing on the bear and a scene with a side character or two. Not sure if future drafts are going to expand on this or if you might take these characters and rework them in a future, but so wish there was more time with all of them. The abruptness of each ending is a nice touch though. Only read through it once, so apologies if I am reaching here, but the narrative and characters basically posing the question "How do you want to face the end of the world?" was certainly gripping. Took me to Edgar for the idea to form in my mind, but it made me want to see what would happen with Val and Nomi. While I might be reaching for the theme, I fully don't get the epilogue. It is a nice touch to include something after finishing all the routes, but it feels odd. I feel like the rest of the story sets up that the group came to this understanding without having to show it. Given that is the case, I have to wonder if it is supposed to imply ambiguity to the rest of the story. Like, are the routes some kind of stress dream Jack is having after his panic attack? Just not sure the implications of it.

Zept

Lol is there an Ottertober?

Laura (Windyote)

Well, nice job- giving me flashbacks to mall retail hell, one supposes that raiding the kitchen at Ruby's Diner would be pointless, other than hamburger buns. Also, thank you for not starting with the MC awakening from unconsciousness / isekai'd into a new world, etc.

Allan Meyer

sooooo excited for this

RudeMyDude

Hey Keith! That story is great, definitely the correct vibe for the times. I have that Witcher 3 intro quote just bouncing around my head now "Nigh is the time of Madness and Disdain". Stay strong, all of us need to.

TheSpaceBear


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