MwaM; Ch 12: A Smackademic Affair

Author's Note: Hello there, this is chapter 12 of Merc with a Mouth. I really hope you will like it.

Also, congratulations to our Guildmasters: Camo, I am Lord Dems, StormFox, RyanMK666, PenguGoesVroom, Hydrus Black and Darth Josh! 😇🥰

Now, without any further ado....Let's begin!

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Merc with a Mouth

-Dev Sagittarius Black

~~Chapter 12: A Smackademic Affair~~

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(Flashback begins)

“You know you don’t have to do this, right?” 

“Don’t tell me what to do, Master Zhi-fu.” The man sneered. “I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions. Carter has been undermining my authority since the start, and this will make sure that he understands that even he isn’t as powerful as he thinks himself to be.”

“If you think so, Master Shu.” Zhi-fu bowed. “Although, I’d caution you against antagonising him to this extent. If you’re not going to drop the challenge, then I’d suggest you finish it as soon as you—”

“For the last time, Zhi-fu!” Shu thundered. “I don’t know why you and the rest of the masters are so damn scared of a boy! He’s just a boy! Powerful he may be, he’s still a boy! Nothing more.”

Hao Zhi-fu didn't say anything. It would be safe to say that everyone, even the grandmaster, knew that Harry Carter and Mùchén Shu were not on good terms. 

Sometimes the students even whispered when they passed each other in the halls—something about the air turning electric. As it happened, the teachers too were on edge whenever the two shared a room.

Well, that was an understatement. 

Harry Carter and Mùchén Shu were barely able to stay in a room for more than five minutes without going at each other’s throats. It got to the point where neither could tolerate the other, and for that reason Shu had challenged the boy for a master’s duel. 

A master’s duel was something that no one could deny, not even Grandmaster Ryuji. It was a duel of submission where the other party had to fight till defeat or death. There were no rules other than the ones made before the duel, and no one had the power to stop it before it finished. 

It was an old tradition, and it was called a master’s duel because it was an event where a student had to challenge one of the masters to become a teacher at the school.

Sort of like a rite of passage.

Therefore, for a master to challenge a student was almost unheard of. Still, a challenge was to be respected, and therefore Carter had accepted it.

Including the punishment, which asked for the loser to leave the school permanently.

Ten minutes later, both the opponents were facing each other in the compound of the third pagoda. The match was being overseen by Headmaster Hu and was being witnessed by almost everyone who studied in the Dragon.

Harry was smirking at the furious master, who was glaring daggers at him. He really wanted to say something that would aggravate his opponent more, but he had been denied to say anything to the opponent before the beginning of the duel.

Master Shu had also taken the handicap of not donning the Dragon’s charmed overcoat. After all, to him, he was a master of the arts and was more than capable of destroying his opponent, who was a mere fifth-year student at his own academy.

Harry had no such qualms. If Shu expected him to become a ‘morally’ fair man who would attempt to level the playing field….he was in for a bad surprise.

“Welcome to the 1478th master duel of the Dragon. The challenge has been issued by Master Mùchén Shu to Young Harry Carter, who had accepted it, along with the punishment that losing the duel would lead to the banishment from The Dragon.” Hu announced, his long white beard and moustache flapping in the wind, “Do both of you accept the terms and swear on your life to abide by them?”

“HAI! “Hai.” Both of them gave their consent.

“Do either of you wish to change the terms or add anything to it?” Hu asked this more to Harry than to Shu. Master’s duel was a brutal affair where participants have been shown to be ferocious enough to either permanently disable their opponents or even kill them.

The two simply shook their heads in denial, making the old headmaster sigh in disappointment. He had truly hoped that Carter would use this to make a rule against killing and permanent disability or usage of one of the many forbidden arts.

“With the blessings of Buddha, under the watchful eyes of Grandmaster Ryuji and myself,” Hu announced as the participants took their stance. 

“KĀISHÎ!!”

Both Harry and Mùchén blurred into thin air as their raw-powered fists smashed together in the centre of the compound.

(Flashback ends)

⁂

Severus Tobias Snape, part-time Death Eater and full-time professor at Hogwarts, was feeling something that he hadn’t felt for the last fifteen years of his life.

Wrath. Rage…..an urge to cause destruction. To destroy someone to smithereens. 

His appointment as the Potions professor had been under crucial circumstances where he was the youngest professor at the castle and, obviously, not trusted by other members of the staff.

That wasn’t his concern, as he hadn’t wanted to be seen as a ‘trusted’ member anyway. The only one he had to appease was Dumbledore, and the old man was quite gullible after Severus had shed a few tears and sworn to seek revenge against Lord Voldemort for killing Lily.

In reality, Snape didn’t want to seek any revenge. All he wanted was a safe place that would keep him away from Azkaban. And the easiest way to do so was to beg for forgiveness from the leader of the light, Albus Dumbledore.

The only three men he had ever hated were the ones who had made his life miserable, and shockingly enough, Lord Voldemort wasn’t in the admittedly small list. The names were rather simple actually, and yet whenever he thought of them, there was nothing short of absolute disgust that crawled up his spine.

Tobias Snape, James Potter, and Sirius Black.

The three men whom he absolutely loathed.

Therefore, he was more than delighted when the Dark Lord questioned his loyalty to their cause and asked him to kill his muggle father. He had taken vindictive pleasure in watching the disgusting man tremble under his cruciatus before killing him off.

James Potter had been killed by the Dark Lord, and Sirius Black had been sent off to Azkaban for a crime that the fool hadn’t even committed. 

Snape already knew that Pettigrew was the secret keeper of the Potter cottage, but telling that to the ministry officials would get Black free from the prison, and he didn’t want that.

It was as if Lady Luck had decided to smile on him, and all of his enemies had either died or, in Black’s case, been cursed to suffer for the rest of his life.

Life after that had been quite dull. All he had to do was teach potions to the speaking troglodytes who joined Hogwarts, and slowly his continued existence in the school brought him a semblance of security and even a form of camaraderie with other professors.

That was until this year when Lord Voldemort made his return. The Dark Lord’s return came with the attack on Bones Manor, the takeover of Malfoy Manor, and the increased attacks by the dark side, which was now frantically recruiting most of the available wands to their cause.

This was also the year when Dumbledore had, for some reason unknown to him, opened the gates to a new student who had been given immunity from classes, uniform, and anything that would make one a ‘student’.

Most of all, he hated the bloody fact that the student looked exactly like his dead nemesis: James Potter. The one man whom he hated more than anyone else.

And if not for the fact that Severus had actually seen James Potter’s dead body in that destroyed cottage, he would have sworn that it was actually the same man who had come back from the dead to harass him once more.

Another reason to believe that Harry Carter wasn’t actually James Potter was that the boy hadn’t come after him like Potter would have and had been sorted into Hufflepuff of all the houses instead of Gryffindor.

But that was where the differences ended.

Carter was bold and brash and seemed to be a king of his own desires who followed his mind without the fear of consequences.

Including the boy’s looks, these were the obvious things that made him quite similar to James Potter.

Therefore, the DADA professor had taken it on himself to check the truth behind Carter’s tales, and the easiest as well as fastest way to do so was to send a small—almost imperceptible—legilimency probe into the boy’s mind to scan his thoughts and recent memories.

Which brought both of them to their current situation….

Harry’s eyes widened in surprise when he felt the distinctive trail of legilimency brush against his mental shields. He glanced at the greasy-haired professor and decided to use a small trick that had been taught to him in his fourth year.

The merc quickly shifted his shields—and before Snape’s consciousness could realise that he had been caught—got hold of the trail and sent a strong pulse of incendio on it. All of this was done before Harry sent a banishing hex, which collided with his opponent’s torso.

Everyone else who had been watching the interaction was surprised when all of a sudden their DADA professor cried in agony and was thrown away like a rag doll. They looked back at Harry, who took a few steps to reach the fallen man. 

“I hope that wasn’t too hot, sir.” He said in a condescending tone. “Will you be able to continue the lesson, or should we take a break?”

Snape opened his eyes, his vision blurry, and glared at Harry, “Detention, Po-Carter! Tonight after dinner! And that’s a hundred points from Hufflepuff!” 

“No.” Harry frowned. “No detention, and no points will be taken from Hufflepuff either.”

“You are a student, Carter, and as a student you fall in the same category as all others with you.” Snape glared at him as he slowly got up, brushing dust from his robes with mechanical precision. “Which means you will take the detention as others do.”

“No, I won’t.” Harry shook his head. “And if you’re that angry, why not take this to the headmaster?”

“The headmaster’s time is quite precious, and it could be used to perform more productive tasks than to discipline someone like you.” Snape sneered. “You, Carter, will learn your place through detentions.”

“Are you telling me that for the headmaster, some other work is more important than an argument between a student and a teacher?” Harry smiled. “Doesn’t that disqualify him from being the headmaster if he’s not concerned about his staff or his students?”

The greasy-haired professor frowned a bit; he hadn’t actually expected Carter to go to Dumbledore. He had expected the boy to simply take up the punishment instead.

“I’m asking a question.” Harry said again, “And I want an answer because I’m not going to any of your useless detentions.”

The students gasped in shock as they looked at the ongoing confrontation; none of them knew what had actually happened because, to their eyes, the professor had sent a curse, which Carter dodged, and then the former screamed before he fell to his knees.

“Class dismissed,” he said flatly. “Headmaster’s office, Carter.” He didn’t look back as he swept from the room—but the echo of his clipped footsteps was colder than any curse. 

Harry gave a small bow to his stupefied audience and waved at Susan before he followed after the angry professor.

“What….what happened?” Hannah asked her equally unsure friend, who just shook her head in the negative.

⁂

Albus Dumbledore gave another sigh as he filled in the ICW report, which asked his opinion on the last meeting of the mages regarding the goblin treaty of 1592 which….yeah. Boring job. 

He still didn’t know why he accepted so many positions back in the day, and he’d be lying if he said that it never crossed his mind to quit a few so that he could focus more on his life and possibly a small retirement plan as well.

Things like filling out reports for the ICW and the Wizengamot were getting agonisingly tedious for his tastes. Even his position as the Headmaster of Hogwarts had started to get on his nerves since the time when he had announced the death of Harry Potter.

At that time it had been a necessary step because everyone wanted to get a glimpse of the saviour, and his absence had pushed Wizarding Britain into a cold war, which went into Hogwarts as well, resulting in animosities between the houses and a hierarchical setup within the house.

Harry Potter….there was still quite the mystery with the boy’s apparent death and ‘return’ to the British Isles as Harry Carter.

The aged warlock was quite sure that the green-eyed mercenary roaming the halls of Hogwarts was actually none other than their lost Boy-Who-Lived, but he couldn’t guarantee it….not yet. Not until he got enough evidence for which he had asked Kingsley, young Nymphadora, and his friend Alastor to investigate Deadpool’s past in detail.

Till then, he had to entertain the boy’s stay as Harry Carter and not Harry Potter.

He was about to write his thoughts in the report when suddenly he was pinged, quite violently, that Severus Snape and Harry Carter had crossed his guardian gargoyle and were on their way to his office.

Before he could have given it another thought, there was rapid knocking on his door. 

“Come in, Severus, Mr. Carter.” He announced as he leaned back in his chair and the two men entered the room. “Lemon drops?”

Snape, as usual, denied it immediately, his face twisted in obvious rage, which was a surprise considering that Severus was quite an accomplished occlumens. Carter, on the other hand, gave a nod and helped himself to a handful of his delicious candies.

“Now, as much as I prefer your company, I’m sure there is a reason for your unannounced visit?” He asked, more to Severus than Carter, because out of the two, he was the one who looked on the verge of blasting out.

“Not only did Carter attempt to injure me,” Snape began. ”He clearly thinks himself above punishments because he says he won’t accept detention.” 

Dumbledore glanced at Harry before going back to the elder mage. “Mr. Carter attempted to injure you?” He asked. “Shouldn’t the two of you be in your classes right now?”

“I was teaching silent casting to the sixth-year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, in which Carter had paired up with Terry Boot.” The professor answered. “Boot, as I've always known, was useless with his wand, and therefore, instead of him, I demonstrated a leg-locker on Carter.” He looked back at the boy. “Which he dodged before throwing a banishing hex at me.”

Dumbledore’s eyes widened in shock. He knew that Carter was trouble, but wasn’t hexing your teacher on your first day too much? He clearly remembered Alastor’s words when he said that Carter would at least take a month to settle down.

“You’re missing a small thing,” Harry added. “The part where you used legilimency on me without prompting.”

“Ah,” Dumbledore murmured, his blue eyes shifting between them. “That is a serious claim, Harry. Legilimency is not something we employ lightly—certainly not on students.” He glanced at Snape again. “Severus?”

“Even you can see how ludicrous that sounds, headmaster!” Snape scoffed before turning to Harry. “You attempted to injure me, and now you’re blatantly lying to save your face!”

“Lying?” Harry frowned. “How about—”

“Mr. Carter.” Dumbledore interrupted, “You do realise how serious this is, don’t you? Accusing a teacher like this…You might even face charges if Professor Snape wants to go to the DMLE.”

“With all due respect, sir,” Harry said, his voice tight. “Stop being a biased peacock; it doesn’t suit someone like you.”

Dumbledore raised his hand to preemptively stop the portraits from shouting, “I assure you, Mr. Carter, I make it a point to listen to both sides of the argument carefully.” He said, not rising to the obvious bait. “Now, did you use a banishing hex on Professor Snape?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “I admit to using a banishing hex on your staff member, but—”

“There’s nothing else to—” Snape began.

“BUT!” Harry interrupted. “He attacked me with legilimency, and if you’re not satisfied, then I demand that you check his wand for the last five spells. It was wordless, not wandless.”

“Only a fool would suggest something like this, Carter.” Snape’s black eyes glared daggers at him. “Look at yourself; even now you’re trying to save yourself with blatant lies.”

Harry just shook his head before he turned to Dumbledore. “How much have you told him about me?”

“That doesn’t have anything to—”

“It does.” Harry stopped Snape. “Now, tell me, headmaster, how much does he know about me? Because we both know that if I want, I can take this stupidity to my superior, and you know what would happen after she learns that Hogwarts professors are using legilimency on students.”

“Carter, you—”

Dumbledore’s eyes widened a bit at that. “I don’t think that’s necessary, Mr. Carter.” He gave a small, hesitating smile. “I’m sure that whatever the misunderstandings are, we can handle it without involving anyone else.”

“The only misunderstanding here is with your professor, who seems to think that a person’s mind is an open book for him to just casually read.” Harry replied. “If you still think that I’m lying, then either you check his wand or I will.”

Snape couldn’t hold back anymore. “Are you arrogant enough to think that a sixth-year like you is capable of doing anything to actually harm me?”

“Snape, Snape,” Harry began, “Till now I’ve been barely tolerating you. I don’t consider you a professor anymore, and I really think you should stop your reputation from plummeting further.” He raised his hand to stop the oncoming rant. “Another stupid comment and I might get irritated enough to stop treating you like a human and actually hurt you….real bad.”

“That delusion of yours is impressive, Carter,” Snape sneered. “If only your talent matched your opinion of it. Perhaps you could….”

Harry closed his eyes and tried to ignore the ranting man as he pinched the bridge of his nose. God, that fool was irritating.

One glance at Snape’s entitled scowl, and anyone can see that Dumbledore hadn’t just tolerated this behaviour—he’d trained it. 

It was also clear that he preferred Headmaster Hu to the one he was facing.

“.....arrogance runs in the family. Your father must have been as insufferably self-important as you are, though I….” 

Harry’s eyes snapped open, and without another word he covered the distance between them before…

‘SMACK!’

Snape blinked in shock, his mind not even able to register what had just happened. One moment he was insulting Carter, the next he was watching his own shoes, and there was searing pain at the back of his head.

“Mr. Carter!” Dumbledore gasped as he stood up, “What is the meaning of this?!”

Before Harry could have replied, Snape flicked his wrist and pointed his wand at him, “How dare you slap—” only for the boy to swiftly snatch it from his grip and jump back a step.

“Guess who lost their wand?” Harry waved the stick. “Here’s a hint: Greasy!”

“This is not right, Mr. Carter,” Dumbledore was actually shocked to see something like that. “Return Professor Snape’s wand to him, and apologise to him for taking it and your previous altercation as well.”

“Ugh…Even his wand is as greasy as his hair.” Harry ignored the two. “Probably because he shoves it up his arse.” He muttered, making a vomiting face, before flicking the stick, “Priori Incantato.”

There was a small flash of golden light and Dumbledore narrowed his eyes as the mist cleared to reveal the latest spell cast from the wand. Harry smirked when he saw the legilimency trail and cancelled the spell. 

“There we go! Now you know who was lying, and you already know how I take it when someone intrudes in my mind.” He said, referencing the incident with the Sorting Hat, before he threw the wand back at Snape, who deftly caught it. “Make sure you don’t try that again, Snappy; who knows, I might not be this generous next time.”

“Though the revelation offered clarity, Mr. Carter, I would still advise you to tread with care, especially when you’re in my office.” He said, carefully studying the boy. “Threatening my staff right in front of me is not a wise decision.”

“Threat? Dear me, Headmaster.” Harry laughed. “Do you think of that as a threat? Hell no! It was a warning. Now, if I said I’d gut Greasy alive and then hang his innards on display in the Great Hall, that’d be a proper threat. See the difference?"

“How dare you—” Snape began once more.

“Careful there, Snape.” The merc interrupted. “We have crossed arms twice, and both times have ended up—disgustingly enough—with you on all fours. If it was me, I’d stop trying by now.”

“Keep counting these little accidents as victories,” Snape sneered, his voice as cold as a dungeon draft. “In reality, you're nothing more than a ticking bomb. Loud, obnoxious… and just waiting to explode in someone’s face.” He turned to Dumbledore. “I wonder how long before we’re all paying the price for your mistake, Headmaster. This boy has already—”

“Severus.” The old man said in a commanding voice as he looked pointedly at said man, “We will discuss this after Mr. Carter leaves, and till then I’d prefer it if you kept a leash on your opinions."

Dumbledore had already suspected that Severus might antagonise the merc, which was why he had invited Snape before Carter came to Hogwarts and had explicitly told the man to leave the boy alone.

Clearly his professor had failed to heed his warnings and ended up paying for it by being kicked in front of—what he assumed to be—the entire sixth-year Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw class that was in DADA. 

“Harry—” He began before correcting himself. “Mr. Carter, you too have made your opinions clear, and I’d prefer it if you didn’t go through with your threats.”

“Also, consider it a request as well as a warning from my side that hereafter, I don’t want you to purposefully antagonise any of my staff members. In return, I’ll remind my staff that every guest, no matter how…unusual, must be treated with respect. After all, harmony is not won in war but rather in peace.” He added, “Do we have an accord?”

“I honestly don’t care about your staff, headmaster, nor do I care about how much you’ve told them regarding who I am and what I can do.” Harry shook his head. “But I promise you that I won’t go after the staff if they just leave me alone. After all, none of this would’ve happened if Grease-head here kept his fetishes to himself.”

Dumbledore gave a nod. “For that, you have proved your point quite well, and I’m sure that Professor Snape wouldn’t do anything like that in the future.” He glanced at the man who glared mutinously at him. “Anything else I can help you with?”

Harry was about to deny it before he remembered, “Ah, yes, I’ve been told that I need your permission to be able to keep my dog here?”

“You brought a dog to Hogwarts?”

“I have, yes.” The merc nodded. “I’ve been told that the Weasleys had a rat, so I didn’t think you’d have any problems with a dog.”

“A rat is a tiny animal, Mr. Carter; he’s not as dangerous as a dog.”

“That’s where you are wrong, sir; a rat is quite dangerous.” Harry nodded with pure seriousness. “Imagine if one goes up your gown while you’re meeting someone.”

“I—what?” The old man blinked. “How did you even think of something like….. that?”

“Well, I don’t usually flex it, but I do have what many others don’t.” Harry grinned. “And no, it’s not Daddy issues. It’s a sense of humour, if you haven’t noticed.”

“It's quite unmistakable.” Dumbledore nodded. “Regardless, a dog is more dangerous than a rat, Mr. Carter.”

“Not if he’s better trained and is a familiar.” Harry pointed at Fawkes before adding, “And as you have one, I suppose you know what it means to be separated.”

“Your dog is your familiar?”

“He is.” 

“Well, then there’s no question about his stay.” Dumbledore nodded. “Alright, Mr. Carter, you can have him here. Though, I’d suggest you make sure that he doesn’t harm anyone.”

“Don’t worry, sir,” Harry smiled. “In that case he is like me.” 

“That is concerning in itself.” Dumbledore said before he shook his head.

Harry just chuckled, “Oh, also, would you restore the hundred points to Hufflepuff? I remember you telling me that the sorting was just a facade so…” 

“The points will be restored, and you don’t have to go to detention either,” Dumbledore nodded. “If there’s nothing else?”

“Nah, nothing for now.” The young mage shook his head before he picked another handful of lemon drops. “Laters, headmaster.” He turned to Snape and gave a wink. “Greasy.”

Snape glared at the back of Harry’s head till his large physique left the office while Dumbledore retook his chair with a tired sigh.

‘I think writing reports is what I am better suited for…' He thought as the door was closed.

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Ending Note: There we go! Liked it? Loved it? Needs some changes? Please, do tell.

I am waiting for all your comments. Constructive criticism is always appreciated.

Thank you for reading and your comments,

With regards,
Dev Black