Starfighter Script Chat

I keep coming back to this portion of the comic and it always gets to me because I can literally see their faces moving in my head, hear their voices too. I feel for Cain. He was just looking out for himself-who wouldn't have-and got roped into a romantic endeavor that made everything complicated. Ugh. Soft Cain makes my chest hurt...

I loved this insight too! It blows my mind since for me the comic flows so smoothly and perfectly that I forget about all the work you must be doing behind the scenes to plan each thing out, their words, character development, etc. Cain is definitely very good at snark and sharp comments haha, but it did feel so nice to see him take a step forward with showing his vulnerability in this scene!! I loved it! Your reasoning as interesting to read and makes a lot of sense :o Abel's very emotional reaction, how he has clearly been so devastated by the situation, did seem like a perfect moment for Cain's caring to show a bit more :) I suppose Cain might not have realized just how specially Abel treats him until he loses that...!

Thanks for the example! This happens to me all the time with my writing, and it's always hardest when I really dig the scene as it was originally, but given how the story has developed- just like this- it doesn't work! :(

Rin Sparrow

Technical aspects aside AS;FLKAJGASLGKJASGLAJS YES CAIN, FEEL THAT PAIN!!!!!! I'm so glad at how this final version makes him seem all the more affected by things. Your expressions are always so beautifully spot on.

This is so fascinating! I love seeing how different the final output is from an initial sketch/script/concept, and it reminds me that nothing has to be final and if something feels more right, it's better to go with it even if you've been set on something! Thank you so much for sharing, and I'd love to see more of this kind of content from you.

I don't think it comes down to any internal masochism, Emily. I felt the same, and then realized that I'd gotten very used to seeing them together, and then I'd get reminded that Cain didn't come into this for any sort of relationship. :/ He wanted to save himself from a prison sentence and didn't want any attachment to Abel ... but Abel's Abel and time has made Cain like him more and more. Likely it's hard NOT to like someone who promises "I'm not going to let them hurt you." (ch3 pg 67). Still, if I'm at all 'putting words in your mouth' let me know - I just really liked your own comment!

Kamehane

Given how, by THIS point in the story, we know that Cain was basically forced to do what he did in Chapter One ... well, it makes sense that he would have gone into it feeling alone and "doing what [he] had to" (page 35) and yet now he's realizing he doesn't want it to be 'me' - he wants it to be 'we'. I remember feeling that very pointedly on page 37 when he not only said 'Abel' but said 'Ethan' after it. To me that's a VERY big step for Cain/ Alexei.

Kamehane

Aww, Maya!😭🙏💨💕💕

HamletMachine

Thank you so much, I'm so glad you liked it!🤗💨💕💕

HamletMachine

Thank you so much!🤗💨💕💕

HamletMachine

Haha, Thisbe has definitely improved the story with his input!🤗💨💕💕 Thank you so much! 🥂

HamletMachine

Oh, thank you so much, Murdoc!😭🙏💕💕 I don't often get to share the work that happens "behind the scenes" for the story, so it's fun to make a post like this!😍💕 I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

HamletMachine

Oh yes, Vixxsin--! You understand so well! And yes, you're exactly right- Abel's reaction is completely new, so it called for a vulnerability from Cain that we also hadn't seen before.. it has more impact this way? Thank you so much for your insight- you are quite skillful at storytelling!😳💨

HamletMachine

Aww, thank you so much, Shay!😊🙏💕💕 I like to see this too, so I'm glad you enjoyed it!

HamletMachine

Oh my gosh, I feel this SO MUCH!😂💨💕💕 I can deeply sympathize! It is fascinating how you think you have something on lockdown and then.. you see different opportunities and changes? But yes, an important, ongoing lesson!😚💕 Thank you so much!

HamletMachine

Aww, Shingami!😭🙏💕💕 Thank you so much! It was a little tricky to write out the explanation, so I'm relieved to hear that it was clear! 🤗💕💕

HamletMachine

Thank you so much for the kind words!🤗💨💕💕

HamletMachine

My pleasure, LLAP!🤗💨💕💕 Thank you so much!

HamletMachine

knowing the original intent, i almost feel as if the same message is being conveyed but in a different way, if that makes sense. agh it’s so layered which gives it depth...! i love that you let the story unfold on its own! and so much is conveyed with just one expression!! these boys, hamlet. you are so talented!! and this is a humbling reminder of your talent, as an artist AND (brilliant) writer/storyteller. thank you! as always, loves. 💕

peachpety

Oh, this was so interesting to read about! I kind of love the extra knife twist of angst in the original script, but I can see why you ended up going in a different direction for the final page. Very cool 👀 If you ever feel like giving us more sneak peaks into this kind of script revision process, I'm sure there would be a lot of enthusiasm for it. I, for one, am always fascinated to see this kind of window into the writing 💖

Goodyear

What a cool peek inside the process!

Brookie

It's always enlightening and inspiring to see the behind-the-scenes of one's writing process! We hear you about the simultaneous frustration but necessity for last-minute changes and how they are eventually for the best in the end! Staying flexible throughout the process is key, isn't it? 😊 And look at this incredible story you've crafted for all of us to enjoy!!! Thank you!

futagogo

I actually really like the final version! Maybe it’s my internal masochism but I love their relationship and kind of liked that Cain seem injured by Abel’s comments here. It demonstrated to me (maybe unintentionally!) that Cain is invested to an extent emotionally. This was really fun to see though!! Thanks for sharing it with us!

I am sooooo happy that indeed they are turning out to be friends, and perhaps companions in love for life :-) <3

Keru

I agree with all the other comments saying how interesting it is to see parts of your process, Hamlet. What I love about seeing the Final Page is to see/ remember just how appropriate it is that things which changed changed - at first it DOES seem to make sense for Abel to speak more, but I think it's when the visual is added that we see Cain needs a bit himself. In the end, Abel seeming to either hold something back, or just not be able to verbalize it, gives better weight to the emotional importance of the moment.

Kamehane

Aww yea my fave part of that conversation was Cain telling Abel he didn’t want their relationship to end 😭

Many thanks Hamlet! This is a very interesting note!

This is so cool! I love seeing what your process is and how it all comes together 😍

Samantha Moreno

*raise a glass* To Thisbe! The hidden Machine!🍻 It’s good to have someone to bounce things with, see what works.☺️💕 (Maybe when things calm down Cain can take up this hobby of his😘)

Sapfo

Oohh!! Thank you for sharing Hamlet! I love to read your thoughts behind the scenes! It's wonderful to read how much love and effort you put in every page! Thank you 😌❤

Ohhh, awesome! These are super interesting to read and compare to the final work! And I agree with Cain showing his vulnerability here because Abel had never reacted like this to him before. He knew he'd messed up. And he was genuinely afraid of what might happen next. Definitely an awesome perk to have on Patreon! 😘😘♥️🔥

vixxsin_

ooooh thanks for sharing! cool to see an artist/storyteller share the details of how/why they make their decisions. 😍💙

Yeah, I remember when I was trying to do a comic and I had a huge pile of written finalized script done. But boooy did it all change when I started to make rough drafts. What had worked in my mind as a mental picture, did not so well on the paper. In practice I had to pretty much rewrite the story, or rather the dialogue alongside the drawing process. It was annoying, but it certainly taught me an important lesson! :)

Ullervoinen

This is really awesome to see! Thanks for giving us a window into your process for how things evolve!! It's fascinating to see what changes from inception to creation and your details on "why" are really clear for those decisions!

Shingami

Love it so much. Thanks for sharing!

oh wow!! thank you for the insight!!! that is so interesting!!! 💖💖💖😭😍

Celila