Beach Bun Page 12
Added 2025-09-15 23:45:05 +0000 UTCBest to be reasured right by the seashore...
Might adjust the dialog for this one depending if this seems genuine or misleading. I'd be open to hearing suggestions on both of Bun and Greg's speeches.
Comments
I know it's probably too late to change, but I'd remove one of the 'really' from Greg's speech, as the repitition breaks the flow of the dialogue. I'd also add 'on' between 'reflect' and 'something' and add a full stop to the end of the first half, so it reads: "Your father is right, I'm having the time of my life, I know you don't want me here but being in this position certainly made me reflect on something you said before. Really, I'd be here forever if I can. Just know I'm always here if you need me…"
Jamie McMillan
2025-09-19 15:11:15 +0000 UTCGenuinely loving this a lot, keep it up!!!
Nicki
2025-09-17 18:37:49 +0000 UTC
