Well...%#@$

Alright guys, gals, and others. I've had an absolutely terrible last week or so, which just hit it's worst point yesterday. Those of you who actually read my posts might remember that, way back around 8-9 months ago, I commissioned someone to redo the sound for Left Hand Magic's sex scenes. The moan tracks I'm using now were always supposed to be placeholders. I'd hoped to start replacing them as early as April, slowly and over the course of the remaining releases.

The person I hired for this was a good friend, so when he kept asking for extensions on the original deadline I gave for results, due to some life events on his end, I kept reluctantly giving them. Up until the end of August, he kept reassuring me that it was 'almost done, I've been working on it.' Then, a week before the end of September he called me and admitted he'd only gotten the first two weeks done so far. You know, probably less than 5% of the total videos that needed doing.

I did my best not to scream bloody murder and asked that he at least send me what he had and get working hard on making good on what I'd hired him for, giving him a couple more weeks. Only, when I got the files, they were a damn useless mess of trash. They sounds weren't properly synced to the video files, which is literally what I hired him to do. There were audio glitches, video artifacts that weren't in the files I sent him, and unholy noises he claimed were supposed to be 'squish' sounds for penetration and such.

Seriously, most of them sounded more like someone was fisting a horse, or maybe a pile of mud, and the 'squish' sounds utterly overpowered the moaning sounds I'd originally asked for. Hell, poor Arianna sounded like she was fucking swallowing a rubber duckie or a dog's squeaky toy every time she deep throated something.

Understandably, I was not happy. Particularly as he hadn't even been asked to add all those extra sounds in the first place.

When I asked him to make it right? The asshole whined about 'not having enough time,' like he hadn't been given eight fucking months do work with, refunded my money (as if that fucking helped), blocked me from contacting him and just walked away. Something made infinitively worse by this being a friend I've repeatedly bailed out of trouble and mental health issues for...almost twenty years? Who damn well knew how important what he was supposed to be doing was to me and had repeatedly lied to my face about making progress on it.

Cue panic attack and me spending most of yesterday non-functional and desperately trying to figure out what to do.

Left Hand Magic was supposed to be finished and released either late this month or early November. I was actively planning to pause this Patreon Page and not charge anyone for at least November, as I handled everything involving the official release.

I'm going to be honest here, I'm still trying to work out exactly how to fix this. Realistically, my only real choice at this point might be to do the work myself. Technically, I know how, but there's a reason I outsourced it originally. Sound design isn't something I'm particularly good at or quick with. I, frankly, don't have a very good ear/eye for it, which means it takes me a fair bit of effort/repetition to get it right even once, let alone the better part of a thousand times across the entirety of the game's animations.

Currently, after spending most of a day hopped up on emergency anti-anxiety meds and desperately trying not to completely spiral, I'm sorting through three possible options:

1) Pause the Patreon Page longer than just November, use the month of November in it's entirety to work on the sound and hope I can make enough progress to release in December. I hate this option as releasing games in December is a fantastic way to set yourself up for massive failure. December is both the month in which major franchises push their biggest titles and the home of all the largest sales of the year. Meaning independent developers releasing during December are reliant on utter, blind luck to get noticed, and it's VERY not in your favor. I've been working my ass off all year, repeatedly riding the ragged edge of burnout, specifically so the game would be done BEFORE December. It's genuinely that bad an idea, typically.

2) Start up work on a new game concept in November, possibly pausing the Patreon anyway so that I can produce a working intro/tech demo of a new game while getting a start on the LHM sound issue. Then split my focus between the new game development and polishing Left Hand Magic through December and January. Likely not releasing a finalized Left Hand Magic until either the end of Jan or possibly even sometime in Feb. All while working on the new game, but not getting very far, very fast, since I'd be splitting my time heavily. I'm not a huge fan of this option either, as it delays Left Hand Magic's release, which is already three months passed my original goal date, for up to another three months. Worse, a lot of fans of the game will likely have drifted off by then and possibly forgotten about it :-(.

3) Trying to find someone new to work on the sound, so that I can focus on a new game. This would also delay Left Hand Magic's release, as anyone sane is going to want a couple of months to do the work. But it would mean that the Patreon at least keeps producing new content for a new game, at similar speeds as I currently do. Worse, I...don't actually know where to go looking for someone. I was lucky (or thought I was) that I happened to know someone with the right skills in the first place. I haven't a single clue where to go looking for someone that can do specifically what the game needs. This isn't like trying to find an artist, which is much simpler. It's a highly specific and somewhat obscure skill set and I don't even know where to find such people.

This is all made so much worse by the fact that I've been pushing so hard. I was intending to take it easy for December, at least. That month is brutal enough without extra stress and it would have done my mental health a lot of good to be able to take some time off. That just...isn't going to happen now. Which is massively depressing and stressful.

I'm currently still trying to figure out exactly what to do here, but I felt I should probably at least let you all know what happened and what might result from it. Sorry I don't have better news. Trust me, I wish I did.