"Yep dude, that's your big bro! He didn't make it into the frat and all failed pledges get cocked. That was three years ago? Wow! Time flies. Don't worry I think he's liking it, he hasn't said anything otherwise, haha! It's kind of cool you get to pledge the same frat he did. Hopefully, you make it! I just wanted to show you him, so you could say hi and, uh, maybe reconnect on a deeper level. If you know what I mean."
Ryan, run and get out of here! They told me the plan on sabotaging your pledge just like they did mine! You'll be a cock just like me! ... Wait, why is he looking at me like that? He's getting closer. Is he really going su-, Ryan no!"