Writer’s block is sure a thing

So: I expected to have more written by now.

I should have had at least 6,000 more words written; instead I’ve been struggling to hit 2,000 all month. Since I’m pretty unlikely to make it at this point—as I start this, I’m in a (loud) coffee shop failing to even get through the notes that I’d like to, well, get through. So this seems like as good a time as any to talk about writer’s block and how to deal with it.

First off: anyone who tells you they have a patented, sure-fire method of dealing with writer’s block is lying, full stop. Here’s the thing: there’s a near-infinite number of reasons that someone who’s fairly good at getting out words on a schedule will discover their muse has abandoned them, and most of those reasons are going to be razor-specific to that person’s situation. The “write something every day” crowd may object to this—it’s possible, they’ll argue, to train yourself to do exactly that. And, okay, sure. It is. But most of us haven’t trained for that. A lot of arguably professional writers haven’t. Unless you’re making a full-time living as an author and you’re accomplishing that in part through sheer volume, cranking out four or more novels a year, you simply don’t have to.

Having said that, though, it’s true that if you start writing regularly, writing tends to get easier. If you stop writing regularly, writing tends to get harder. Many of us need to be in a particular headspace to write well (or even write badly), and when you’re knocked out of it for too long it can be a bitch to get back.

Speaking only from my own experience, I’m more likely to get writer’s block when I have Big Worries on my mind. Sometimes in the past, this has been financial, which can’t be a surprise, right? That’s often one of the biggest worries, if not Worry Number One, for many of us. Yes, late capitalism and all that.

But sometimes the Big Worry isn’t so easily pinpointed. As I’ve been struggling this month, I’ve come to suspect it’s less about money than it is about family, specifically an older parent who lives alone—and on the other side of the country. After visiting over the holidays, I came back with the fear that she won’t be able to live alone much longer. I’m her only child, and the implications of that are serious upheaval for both of us. And after mentioning this offhandedly to my roommate while I was still out visiting her, I came back to said roommate talking just about every day about places they could move when I inevitably move cross-country. Or try to move my mother out here, to what’s literally the most expensive metro area in the country.

I don’t feel like I’ve been thinking about this all through January, but looking back, I’m pretty sure I’ve been thinking about it a whole lot. I don’t know what I’m going to do and when I’m going to have to do it. I don’t know what my life will be like if I’m living with mom again. Will I be able to keep my job? If I can’t, can I get another one, given that I’m well into what’s considered “old” for tech workers? When I’m living with a parent, how will I get time to write? Where will I hide the furry giantess porn? (Look, the question is relevant.)

But I literally can’t have any solid answers to those kinds of questions. Not yet. They’re too speculative. I can get back to Kani and Jillian’s story… if I can stop my mental tail-chasing.

This is the part where I dearly wish I could contradict the way this musing started and give you a few patented, sure-fire methods of breaking through writer’s block. But I can’t. “Put your butt in the seat and write something, anything, no matter how long it takes you or how short it is or how shitty you think it’s going” is as close to a fundamental truth as there is on the subject. If I could keep writing, I wouldn’t be blocked, would I? So try writing something else. Go back to the notes for the story you’re blocked on and try rubber ducking over what you’re trying to write. The last few paragraphs of the notes for Kani’s story are where I finally started taking this advice myself, just a day ago as I write this:

So I’ve been stuck on part 3 for quite a while, and still have ~1000 words to go on it. What’s the block? I think the problem is that I don’t know what this chapter is supposed to do for plot advancement. Kani meets Jillian when she’s giant, but where does that take us? What does Kani learn? Well, that they think giants are hot, but that’s not a plot point. 

Jillian’s probably going to have to press them on just what they want with their life. Maybe just by asking “where are you going next?” 

…which is a good question! Theoretically, Kani has an answer for this, right? They’ve been on their “walkabout” to see the country and theoretically think about where they want to end up. So this may be the penultimate metro area on their planned journey, with the last around the midpoint between Mensura and Port Clarita. But they literally don’t know what they want to do with their life, and that’s something that Jillian is going to have to force them to face. She might not be doing it intentionally, but it’s going to happen.

(Yes, I tend to address myself in my own notes when I’m stuck like this. Don’t ask me why, I don’t know.) Is this helping me with the writer’s block? Maybe. If nothing else, it’s making what I should be writing next clearer.

And, sometimes I can’t even get going on the notes for a story I’m blocked on, or I only get so far. That might mean that I’ll be better off trying something else entirely. A quick vignette with entirely different characters that’s just about relentlessly stomping on buttons. (Several of my vignettes have started that way, and it’s possible I might come up with another one or two to see if that shakes things loose in a week or two.) Notes for a different story. A Patreon post about writer’s block. Anything that gets me writing something again.

Anyway, I definitely plan to continue Kani’s and Jillian’s story, and even find a real title for it. (I suppose Mensura College: Kani & Jillian is possible if I want to continue the trend I set with Saida & Autumn.) It’s possible that this is a tougher story than I anticipated because as fluffily straightforward a size-based romance as it is on the surface, Kani is, well, too much like me. Most of my characters have varying degrees of me in them (and Arilin has grown to have a lot over the years), but the coyote’s back story is so close to mine it borders on authorial insertion. I’ve found my muse occasionally leaning over my shoulder not to offer advice but to ask “are there some gender issues you’re trying to work out here?” 

In any case, thanks for sticking around. Since this article is all I’m putting out in January, you won’t get a charge at the start of February. I’m hoping in February there will be a few thousand more words of Kani’s story.

(And, you know, if it helps break the writer’s block, a relentlessly button-stomping vignette.)