Lewd Dungeon, Chapter 391

Chapter 391 – Mediterranean DEN

Weddings, even mortal ones, were complicated affairs. You had to find a date and time, a place for the event, a place for the reception, line up a priest, catering, and music, and more. A divine wedding, however? Well, that made mortal weddings look mundane in comparison.

Oh, there were still some parts that were easier to deal with than others. We had already decided on the date and the venue, after all, planning it for 4 PM local time on the fall equinox, and holding it in the Parthenon, in Greece. Anyone suggesting that a Goddess couldn’t hold a ceremony in her own temple, on one of the holy days in her faith, was going to have a truly bad day. Especially when dealing with more ‘human’ gods, like the Greeks.

Likewise, getting someone to perform the ceremony was less an issue of finding someone to do the job, and more one of narrowing the field to just one. However, since Athena was getting the time and place of her choosing, it was decided that I could pick the one officiating. My choice was not a single person, but a pair, Zannah and Maranda, my Sword and Hand, who had been leading services in my Swamptown cathedral for some time, now. Despite rarely entering the dungeon, they had grown decently, both due to hunting monsters in the area around Swamptown, and because their classes gained XP from proselytizing and conducting religious rites in my name, so they were both into Tier 2, now.

It was Aphrodite that suggested the site for the reception after the ceremony. We could have done it at the Parthenon, but that would weight things a bit too far towards Athena, and would convey a junior-senior relationship, rather than one of equal partners. So, instead, we would go to an area more closely tied to my sphere of influence, the Mediterranean Adventurers Guild’s office in Athens, and rent the large meeting hall they had, there. Aphrodite would handle the catering, and entertainers, so I didn’t need to concern myself with that.

It was decided that the ceremony would be limited to three hundred and fifty invitees. The Parthenon could easily hold five hundred for a ‘mix and mingle’ type event, but we did have to perform a ceremony, after all, which would require some space. Obviously, we would be inviting representatives from different pantheons, and some mortals, but I did want some dungeons to get involved, if they could. And, since I was the only one out of our group who could easily chat with dungeons, it was my job to see who had an avatar or representative they could send, and who didn’t.

Obviously, intruding in their actual dungeons uninvited was not going to do me any favors. That was a great way to get yourself in a dungeon war, after all, and I had no intention of moving towards Conquest as a domain instead of Domination. Fortunately, I had a secret that not even the Global DEN crowd knew about, just yet.

Welcome to the Exchange!

Labyrinth

The Cretan Hunters Coalition is starting to get on my nerves. Bastards are causing too much damage every time they show up.

The Pass

Ah, those are the guys who broke off from the Mediterranean Adventurers Guild when they put in that shrine to Kuronoth to get access to his portal network, right?

Labyrinth

Right. They also took offense to the idea of dungeon contracts. That means I don’t have to hold back against them, but someone’s been giving them some nasty new weapons and gear.

Kraken’s Rest

What kind of weapons and gear? We talking military stuff, or something else?

Labyrinth

Military, for sure. But they don’t act like military, even military dropouts.

Exotic Pleasures

Hmm, my first instinct would be to say that someone is using them to do field tests on new weapon and armor designs, out of the eye of the public. Gives them data as close to real war conditions as you can get without actually sparking a war. Probably not an actual government or military backer. My money would be on one or more weapons manufacturers working together and pooling research data.

Fallen Troy

Oh, a new name? Haven’t seen you on this board before. Where are you based?

Great Library

Wait, I know that name. Palace of Justice and some of the others mentioned him on the European boards! You’re that American dungeon that became a god, right? Forbidden Chambers of Exotic Pleasures, and Kuronoth, both in one? The one who just had a couple of System Notices talking about having children with other gods? How did you get here?

Exotic Pleasures

Oh, my. Palace has been telling tales about me? I knew he liked me more than he let on. But, yes, I am Kuronoth, God of Pleasure, Domination, and Dungeons, and the Forbidden Chambers of Exotic Pleasures dungeon, and yes, I did sire children with Selphie and Pofmis, of the Atlantean pantheon. As for Troy’s question, the answer loops into yours, Library. I am based in Florida, in the US, it is true, but I have a presence in every major country on Earth, thanks to the portal network. Because of that, I’ve been added to the DEN in every area where one of my ‘annexes’ exists.

Exotic Pleasures

And before anyone asks, the reason you didn’t know about it before now is because I had no reason to reveal it before. I try not to flaunt my full capabilities when there isn’t an actual reason for me to do so.

Lotus

Uh, that sounds bad. According to the Salles de la Morte dungeon in Paris, you only start doing things like that when someone needs to get stepped on. Has someone fucked up?

Exotic Pleasures

Thankfully, no. I’ve heard only good things about the dungeons in the Mediterranean. Though if I could get some introductions?

Lotus

Uh, sure. I’m Lotus-Eater Isle. Based on one of the islands, using a bunch of plant creatures who have different drug and poison attacks. The ‘Herbs of Eros’ and related stuff that filtered down from the Global DEN has been very helpful.

Labyrinth

I’m the Minotaur’s Labyrinth, on Crete. Currently have thirteen floors of mazes, traps, and monsters.

Fallen Troy

I’m the Fallen Troy dungeon. Adventurers have to escape the falling city as the Greeks pillage and burn. And I have a fun skill that lets me change the city layout for each group.

Great Library

I’m the Great Library of Alexandria dungeon. Technically, I count as a Mystic Dungeon. I’m working on getting copies of as many books, scrolls, maps, and so forth as I can. The idea is that, eventually, people can risk the dungeon to research different lore.

Kraken’s Rest

Kraken’s Rest, here. Underwater dungeon located off the coast of Kefalonia.

The Pass

Thermopyle Pass Dungeon, here. Technically a variant of a Slayer dungeon called a War Games Dungeon. Adventurers are put in under a glamour to make everyone look like Greek soldiers defending against the Persians. They even get temporary weapons and skills appropriate to a Fighter / Soldier of their level. And there is a special field that boots them from the main dungeon to a safe room with 1 HP when they ‘die’. Because they’re part of an army, and they have that field, it is very popular with solo adventurers and larger groups.

Exotic Pleasures

That is a fascinating design, Pass. When you get to the Global DEN, you should chat with Silver Mercy. She has a similar field to yours.

Library, if you haven’t done it yet, try and get in touch with the local Guild, and see if someone will go ‘shopping’ for you.

Labyrinth, if the people with military toys are getting out of hand, my suggestion would be to either stack Dungeon Laws on them to make them weak, or arm your monsters (and traps) with them, at least for the ‘no contract’ mode. A kill box with two machine gun nests in elevated positions on either side of a room with no cover? Where the door shuts behind them (possibly separating the party) and the only way out is to cross the room before the gunners fill them full of lead? Maybe with there being live landmines in the area, as well? That’ll send a VERY clear message to this Coalition about what you think of their methods.

Lotus

And I thought the Greek gods were vicious and vindictive! That’s just nasty!

Exotic Pleasures

My policy is to treat anyone entering my dungeon without signing a contract as an existential threat there only to destroy the dungeon, and act accordingly. Plus, since I don’t use such tactics on the ‘normal’ mode, there’s no risk of being called rogue. Everyone knows the contract is there as much to limit my options as it does the adventurers. When they don’t sign the contract, that means they’re agreeing to take on whatever I throw at them, however hard I throw it.

Kraken’s Rest

Any suggestions for an underwater dungeon like me?

Exotic Pleasures

Depends on how ‘underwater’ you’re talking about. Like, submerged the whole way through, or areas where people can come up for air? And do you have lights, or are they wandering in the dark?

Kraken’s Rest

All underwater. Most of the dangers are from traps and hazards. People get turned around or cut off, and there are some aquatic monsters that you have to fight underwater, before the boss, the Kraken. Unfortunately, the halls need to be wide enough to fit the thing, which limits my options, some. Oh, and I do have some glowing moss in places, offering enough light to navigate a little.

Exotic Pleasures

Technically, you don’t have to do that. Dungeons don’t have to make sense like that. However, if you want it to be thematically correct, you could rearrange things, so that the tunnels are tighter, for the most part, but while the entrance to the boss room is normal, there’s only one large exit, which is only revealed after the boss dies. That will let them swim out to the sea floor, covered by a ‘ward’ which keeps others from seeing it.

On the monster front, Vurlocks are a great choice for an aquatic dungeon. They’re sapient and clever, too, so they’ll find tricks you hadn’t considered, all on their own. They’re very useful, in their own way.

As for the rest of the dungeon, you’ll get more traffic if you make it semi-submerged, rather than underwater the whole way. You can still have the entrance underwater, making people swim for it, but then let them come up to a small cavern where there’s air and dry land where people can breathe, redo any water breathing spells or the like, and so on. Put those periodically through the zone. Not necessarily safe zones, since dry land opens combat options that aren’t useful underwater, but somewhere adventurers can kick back without worrying about drowning. You could even tie the ‘dry-er’ style to those who sign ed contracts, while others get the flooded version.

Fallen Troy

So, what brings you to this part of the DEN? You aren’t the kind to just drop everything and visit unless there’s something to do with god shenanigans.

Exotic Pleasures

Well, that’s actually fairly simple. By now you’ve all heard about how Earth has a limited time period to get its act together before the Ambassadors have to withdraw their protection, right?

Great Library

Yeah, Palace of Justice was sure to let everyone know, including sending messages through other dungeons so that all the different DENs were notified. But there isn’t much dungeons can actually do about that.

Exotic Pleasures

Well, the gods are also working to try and guide people to the desired goal, but we have limits due to the whole ‘free will’ thing. So, Athena came to me with an interesting proposal.

Lotus

Like, the real Athena?

Exotic Pleasures

Yes, with eyes like an owl, and the gorgon’s head on her shield, and all that. We figured one way to spread the word, without looking like we were directly getting involved in politics, was to have a big, fancy event that would draw all eyes to us. Something like a divine wedding at the Parthenon, on the fall equinox.

Fallen Troy

Wait, you, and Athena? That Athena? The one who very much avoided marriage however she could in the myths? HOW?

Exotic Pleasures

Tell me, in how many of the myths was Athena actually consulted by someone who wanted her? As I recall, it was almost always someone either trying to bargain with Zeus, or hoping to ‘win’ her like a prize. Turns out, when you consult her directly, and have a reputation for dealing fairly with people who haven’t done you wrong, even a goddess is more willing to entertain the idea.

Great Library

While we all process that, you must have come here because you needed something. What is it?

Exotic Pleasures

Need? No. Desire, yes. If any of you have avatars or monsters that you can send out of your dungeons as representatives, you’re all invited to the ceremony, provided you wait until afterwards to cause trouble. I can also tell you that the reception is probably going to be wild, since Aphrodite is the wedding planner.

Labyrinth

Oh, wow. I’m sending my minotaur avatar, for sure!