Lewd Dungeon, Book 38 Prologue

Prologue – Trade Chat

(Adventurer’s Guild Official Forums, Miami Branch)

SunnyBunz, MightyMouse, ImAPally, DontYouWantMe, AsaAkiraIsBae, BestGirl, LatinHeat, Salty, Backpage, Craig34, l33tpally, Anonymous3, Anonymous4, RedFox, Kimiko, DonnyJuan, Crusader, BadCompany, HurricaneGal, Ambassador, Scholar, Righteous, Id10t, Satyr, DarkEnchanter, RangerMiguel, ScoopGirl, VenusFlyTramp, MagicMike, TsundereHealer, Max, LightningLegacy, SwiftTaylor, Domino, Bacchus, Aegis, Temptation, and Lord_Kickass are in the chat.

Domino: Man, did you guys see that report that just got put on the Guild boards?

Id10t: The blacklist report? Been a while since that was updated, hasn’t it? After the first month or so, people figured out that the consequences weren’t worth whatever they did to get on the list, usually.

Max: Weren’t most of the original blacklisters people who decided to run ‘power leveling’ scams, taking people for all they were worth before either killing them or leaving them for dungeons to clean up? I thought I saw something about that. Only way they were caught was with truth spells, right?

BadCompany: Those were the nicer ones. There were some on the list that were doing worse things.

Crusader: If he didn’t end up dead, the guy who made a contract to bring people to the dungeon to become the Demon’s slaves would have wound up on the blacklist, once word of what he was doing got out.

LatinHeat: Reminds me, I heard of a dungeon that was apparently engaged in slave trading, out on the panhandle, near Pensacola.

Temptation: The closest Florida dungeon to Pensacola is the Blackwater Deeps, in the Blackwater River State Forest. And it isn’t ‘awake’ enough to be a slave trader. I do know of a vurlock dungeon in Orange Beach, Alabama, though. But if it wasn’t one of those, you’re looking at human tricks.

LatinHeat: Aw, shit.

Salty: Who told you about this supposed dungeon, LH?

LatinHeat: Guy I was talking to in the guild hall the other day. He’d just portalled in from the Montgomery hub, or so he said. Was trying to see if I knew anyone looking for interesting ‘exotic’ party members. Like, not humans, elves or the like. Alien exotics.

Ambassador: That was likely someone using the ‘Minion Market’ in the System Shop, and masquerading as a dungeon to avoid taxes and fees. As well as skirting any local laws on slave-taking.

TsundereHealer: Why bother pretending to be a dungeon? And how do you pretend to be a dungeon?

Temptation: The ‘why’, is simple. Laws don’t apply within a dungeon’s domain, unless they’re Dungeon Laws, so even if something goes sideways, people wouldn’t think about calling the cops. They’d go for the Guild, to try and get a warning out, but when the guild goes to check things out and finds no dungeon?

Salty: The person who reported is now looking like a liar, and maybe even getting in trouble, themselves, if they told on someone with influence.

Ambassador: That is correct. As for the ‘how’? All you really need is a pocket realm of some kind and an effect that puts up something which looks like a System Alert window when you get close to it. The pocket realm isn’t cheap, of course, but a ‘Movable Home’ is not uncommon for wealthier adventurers or guilds who like to keep their base mobile.

Ambassador: And a basic ‘System Sign’ can be bought for 100gp each. They’re frequently used in places where you need to have markings, warnings, or just something to identify the property line, but don’t want something that could easily be destroyed or defaced, and won’t impede the view of the landscape.

MightyMouse: So, what was the blacklisting about?

Domino: One of the Crimson Claws stood back and watched as the rest of his team were digested alive by a tree. Didn’t try and help or anything. Apparently, he even put a Silence spell on himself so that his Master couldn’t order him to help.

Salty: The Crimson Claws? They were the ones led by that prick who only thought with his lower head, right?

Domino: Yeah, and two of the people who died were the survivor’s wife and daughter.

Crusader: That’s horrible!

Temptation: Their leader was a bad Master, and the survivor’s wife and daughter had long ago turned all their affection to their Master, and not the ‘sissy cuck’. Don’t go crying for any of them.

Salty: Weren’t they followers of yours, though? Bit cold of you.

Temptation: If gods do not manage their followers properly, they can become corrupted. For instance, how the former Goddess of Freedom, Pofmis, was corrupted by her more militant followers, which caused her to leave behind some of her more peaceful ways, which attracted more militants, and so on, until she was a tyrant in the name of Freedom.

Crusader: So, did you set them up?

Temptation: No, their own choices sent them down that path. But I didn’t do anything to save them, either.

BestGirl: What happened to the survivor? The one who got blacklisted?

Temptation: He’s on Bluemountain, working as an archivist and scribe. A lot happier now that he isn’t getting called ‘Fuckpuppet’ by a Master who didn’t care about things like male or female, so long as he was the one doing the sticking.

LatinHeat: OK, I can see why he might have had some issues with his Master.

LightningLegacy: In better news, the Demon Guildmistress of LA’s group managed to get through the first of the cave floors in the dungeon yesterday. Looks like that boss fight at the end of the floor is going to be a real pain.

LatinHeat: Why?

LightningLegacy: Because the boss is an undead gator the size of a bus, and you either have to fight it in the water, or draw it to shore.

LatinHeat: So, draw the gator to shore. What am I missing?

Temptation: You still need to get across the pitch-black lake after the fight, which means that if the boat gets smashed by an angry undead alligator thrashing around on the beach, your choices are swim and hope you can make it, or use an escape charm to head back up, and try your luck next week.

Salty: Ah, yeah, that’d do it. Swimming in the dark is nerve-wracking, even when there isn’t anything else going on. And if the water is anything like a lot of underwater lakes, it’ll be cold.

Temptation: Let’s just say that my servants much prefer the waters around the Water Temple for ‘beach days’, instead of swimming in the new lake.

BadCompany: So, the key is figuring out a way to protect the boat. Because there’s no way I’m fighting a fucking gator the size of a bus in the middle of the water. That’s way past ‘Florida Man’ craziness!

DarkEnchanter: Hmm. If someone used a shrinking enchantment on a small boat, it could probably fit in someone’s inventory, or an item bag. That would be useful beyond just dealing with a broken boat in the dungeon.

Temptation: I encourage lateral thinking. Especially given what comes after you cross the lake.