Lewd Dungeon, Chapter 235

Chapter 235 – Divine Meeting

Now, it isn’t reasonable for gods with a lot of followers across the galaxy to personally respond to every prayer they receive. Even with my dungeon abilities augmenting my ability to subdivide my thought processes, I already had to automate some things, screening out the generic prayers, and only paying attention to the true cries for help. And that was with me only having a few million worshippers. But there were gods with trillions of worshippers, all praying to them for relief.

Fortunately, the two gods I was dealing with here were not on that level. ‘Purity’ and ‘Chivalry’ were not concepts that lent themselves to widespread worship, after all. They weren’t as primal as Fire or Water. They weren’t as stirring as Courage or Vengeance. They weren’t as satisfying as Peace or Pleasure. They just… were.

Which isn’t to say that there was anything wrong with those concepts. But neither one was compelling enough as a whole to garner large swathes of worshippers on their own. Those concepts usually were held by lesser gods who were part of a pantheon. Which was the case here. Both Binja and Idos were part of pantheons that had arisen from the Niera and Lolifell races.

Of course, being part of a pantheon, rather than a god that just stood alone? That meant that some of the dungeon laws I’d helped Dishonored Knight cook up would affect worshippers of the ENTIRE pantheon! I was almost hoping that the zealots got stupid, so I could see the chaos that would come from that, but I couldn’t strike the first blow. I had to make it so that I could claim, truthfully, under the gaze of those who could sense any falsehood, that they brought it upon themselves, as I could with the Golden Host. I was playing the long game, here, and couldn’t afford to get impatient.

I felt the prayers going out from the Divine Purifier and Knight-Protector, and I felt the connection form. I could ‘see’ the threads of magic extending off into godly realms. And then I saw a thread extend towards me. An invitation.

I took it.

I found myself in an empty space. Not a room, but not nothingness. More like it was a place without boundaries and with infinite possibility.

From the aether, two points of light formed, ‘hardening’ into reality. It was fascinating to see it at work, watching as the structures, formed by divine power, began pushing their way forward, and making themselves into solid objects. The objects, and the avatars upon them.

To the right was a child-sized throne of marble and steel, with the back carved to look as though it were a steed in motion. To either side, were great banners, with the symbol of Idos, God of Chivalry, upon it. They were only slightly taller than a man, but, compared to the throne they were next to, they seemed gigantic.

Upon that throne sat the avatar of Idos. Of course, it was wrong to judge a god’s power or knowledge by their looks, but the avatar was barely three feet tall, like most of the lolifell race. Even if he was dressed in plate armor, and had what, to him, would be a two-handed greatsword by his side, it still looked like a child dressed up for Halloween, with a broadsword that was too big for them.

To the left, three simple white poles extended upwards, with a piece of flawless white silk hung between them, forming an elegant cross between hammock and chair. Binja sat there, her white fur just a shade different from that of the white silk she sat on, and the chaste white gown she wore. A scepter made of a dragon’s bone rested easily in her hand, topped by a crystal which glowed with a bright white light.

It took me a moment to figure out how to copy their actions, but I managed it well enough. I had plenty of practice making things from my dungeon self, after all. A copy of the throne I had used in the Black Temple floor of the dungeon appeared next to me, and I sat down, relaxing against the comfortable familiarity in this realm of infinity.

Looking at the two other goods, I said, “Greetings, Binja, Goddess of Purity, and Idos, God of Chivalry. I wish I could say that it was entirely a pleasure to be meeting you, but the current circumstances are somewhat dampening my excitement at finally meeting other gods ‘in the flesh’, as it were.

Idos chuckled. “You mean because some of the crusade marching on that dungeon?”

“Yes. Such things are problematic, you understand. However, as I told your servants, I bear neither of you any ill will at this juncture. After all, so far, no harm has been done.”

“NO HARM?” Binja shrieked, nearly rising from her chair in anger. She got control of herself quickly, however, and settled back against the silk. “That dungeon caused so many of my cute followers to do unspeakable things to each other! The very idea of some of what happened in that dungeon sickens me!”

I leaned back, focusing my thoughts and gaze upon the Goddess of Purity. “What I meant to say was that no harm had come to my worshippers, and no harm has come to your churches, or your pantheons. Unlike when that overzealous, self-righteous bit of wank-bait Pofmis attacked me, and mine, I have no reason to be upset with you. Which is why I am offering this chance at a parley, so that everyone can just… walk away.”

She started to say something, but I cut her off with an upraised hand. “The worshippers you spoke of went into a dungeon, Lady Binja. There is the implicit consent and agreement, whenever you go into such a place, that you will not be coming out again, still of sound mind and body. These are the risks adventurers take, when they enter the dungeon, and they take them knowingly.

“Now, you could go and complain, and say that it isn’t their fault, that it is all the big, nasty, mean dungeon’s fault. But, let’s be honest. All that would do is encourage the spoilt brats in your church to push the blame for any wrongdoing they do onto others. Down that path lies all manner of depravity, with the words, “The Devil made me do it!” as an absolution.”

I sighed, and said, “I do not believe you are an idiot or a fool. Either one of you. You have to see the potential for problems, there. And if you become lax or uneven in your pursuit of the rules and consequences you set forth for your followers, then you begin to sow dissent in your ranks. People begin to think of those in power as hypocrites and charlatans, rather than righteous folk to be seen as role models.”

Idos leaned forward, and cleared his throat. “Tabling that point, for the moment, though I would like to return to it in the future, you mentioned something about consequences to our pantheons? Could you explain that in more detail, if you will?”

“Of course, Lord Idos. Are you aware of some of the restrictions and penalties that were laid upon the church of Pofmis, based upon their actions against the Forbidden Chambers of Exotic Pleasures dungeon upon Earth?” He nodded, so I continued on, “The truth is that those were imposed primarily through Dungeon Laws, with only the Anathema part coming from my divine powers.”

“Go on.”

“The Anathema, as you know, was applied to the entire church of Pofmis and all its members, meaning that, should they ever return to a domain under my protection, or the protection of any of the other gods enshrined in that dungeon, that they will be at quite the disadvantage. The dungeon laws were also applied to the church as a whole, and everyone in it, even should they join at a later date. However, those things did not apply just to the church of Pofmis.”

Idos frowned. “Then who else did it apply to, Lord Kuronoth?”

“The wording of the Dungeon Laws, and the Anathema declaration, included not just the individual, but all parties, groups, and organizations that they were a part of, or that they represented. In this case, should one of your followers run afoul of the dungeon laws, then the penalty would fall upon them, upon their party, upon their guild, upon their entire bloodline, upon their nation, upon their church, and upon the pantheon that church is a part of.”

The pint-sized god went slack-jawed for a moment. “What madness is this?”

“Heh. Funny you should say that. It comes from a very human idea. Mutually Assured Destruction. Or, M.A.D. It was a phrase coined before the System turned on, at a point where humanity had produced enough nuclear weapons to render the entire globe completely uninhabitable five or ten times over, at least. No one is really sure of the full counts, thanks to all the ‘state secrets’ involved.

“Anyways, the idea was a simple one. If one side launched nukes, then everyone launched nukes. And, for the better part of fifty years, those nuclear weapons were kept on a hair trigger, fueled and ready to launch the moment an order came down from the chain of command. In such a way was peace preserved, until the politics changed, and the Cold War thawed. None of those powers are exactly ‘friends’, now, but there hasn’t been a full-out war between any of the major global powers in over seventy years. Proxy wars and territorial squabbles, sure, but no true wars between the major powers.”

I leaned back, and steepled my fingers in front of me, my elbows resting on the arms of my throne. “What I have done is armed every dungeon on this planet that would listen to me with the knowledge of MAD. Given to them the grim certainty that, though they might fall, they can still drag their killer down to hell with them.

“I have looked out upon your forces, and scried out their potential. It is within your people’s power to destroy the Dishonored Knight dungeon. I won’t deny that. However, in so doing, you would bring destruction upon your pantheons. The pantheons might even disown or destroy you, in order to rid themselves of the consequences of the actions of a few family members with more pride and money than sense.”

Binja shook her head slowly, clearly in shock. “What you suggest would destroy the balance of power in the galaxy! The order of everything would be overturned if such knowledge got out. And then, someone would use it, not caring about the consequences!”

“Yes, that is entirely possible. Of course, there are ways to cut down on such things. You could start, for instance, by not blithely signing off on crusades in your name because some rich and influential family got upset that a brother and sister are having a child together. Force people to actually justify their crusades, with actual reasons.

“You could also have your people sign the Dungeon Contracts that the dungeons of this world have started to offer. Contracts which bind both adventurer and dungeon, offering benefits and promising penalties if either side oversteps their boundaries. This is how Humanity survived the threat of MAD, by sitting down and signing treaties, which stayed their hands.”

“I-I don’t know what to say.”

“Then you should also know that I’ve taken the liberty of introducing other concepts from Earth to the dungeons of this world. Did you know that human wars, wars between our own species, have, at times, gotten so terrible that we had to make treaties, and establish rules for war? We took some of the most horrific things we could imagine, and turned them into something we called war crimes.

“But those treaties only apply to nations. To humans. And so, part of these Dungeon Contracts is a set of restrictions upon the dungeon, preventing the use of certain tactics and strategies that were deemed too horrific for a species that saw seventy-five million people die during the course of the second of our great global conflicts. Restrictions that are taken away when someone refuses to sign the contract, or breaks its terms.”

Idos took a deep breath. “And what, exactly, are you asking of us?”

“Simple, really. Speak to your followers, and call off the crusade. That is all. Oh, you certainly will want to have some inquisitors, or whatever you call your version of them, look into the families that called for the crusades, and the religious leaders that seconded the call. A show of ridding your church of corruption would hurt, in the short run, but in the long run, it is better than suffering what happened to Pofmis’s church, is it not?”