Film Sack 721: Friday The 13th 

On this spooky episode of Film Sack, a group of teenage camp counselors attempt to re-open an abandoned summer camp with a tragic past, but they are stalked by a mysterious, relentless killer. Stupid teenagers!

RANDY POEM
Friday the 13th

Ah, welcome, friends, to Camp Crystal Lake’s fame,

Where counselors die before we learn their names.

Our heroes trip on roots, as all must do,

While Jason’s mom plays peekaboo with glue.

The sheriff’s drunk, the teens are full of sin,

They skinny dip, then lose a head or skin.

The camp’s shut down, yet somehow opens soon,

What do you mean this crap takes place in June?

IBBOTT LYRICS
I thought I had good judgment in the choices I tend to make

It seemed like a good idea to come up to Crystal Lake

But I'm starting to think this first date, might be a big mistake

It's a little creepy

I heard that you like hockey, it was in your Tindr profile

There's a goalie mask in your closet, along with a bloody argyle

But I feel like there's something evil beneath that Shirley MacLaine hairstyle

That's a term of Endearment

Aren't you a friend of the Christys?

Mrs. Voorhees, let's call it a night

And Mrs. Voorhees

I think my thumb slipped on my phone and it made me swipe right

You've been a player since I've been in Pampers

Now you're the slayer of eight horny campers (ahhh)

Mrs. Voorhees (ah)

Well, I'll take the counselor's Jeep home, (uh-huh), maybe you stay inside

I heard you talk to yourself, but then a child's voice replied

I'll just count my six degrees score, is it one if Kevin Bacon died?

I'm just kidding, but really (kinda), really, really

Mrs. Voorhees, let's call it a night

And Mrs. Voorhees

I think my thumb slipped on my phone and it made me swipe right

You've been a player since I've been in Pampers

Now you're the slayer of eight horny campers (ahhh)

Mrs. Voorhees (ah)