Max & Roy Vol. 2 - Part 1: Plans

MAX

MAX: Hey you, how long have you been up? You should’ve woken me.

ROY: Little while. It’s Sunday, I wanted to let you lie in. You look so cute when you’re sleeping.

(I probably look like a moustached hippo. I don’t know how he can sleep through my snoring. It gets louder the bigger I get)

ROY: You want breakfast in bed? I was gonna start in the kitchen in a sec.

MAX: You’re too good to me.

ROY: I gotta keep you fed and fat, haven’t I?

MAX: Yessir, hehe.

(I don’t know how he does it. He’s got his photography business just starting up, building the studio out the back, he lifts insane weights and still makes time to feed me)

MAX: Can I help?

ROY: You keep your huge, juicy ass parked right there, Mister.

MAX: I’m huge and juicy today? I’m evolving. Like a… whassit called? Like a Pokey-chu.

ROY: Haha! Max, you’re adorable. I was gonna make waffles in syrup. You want eggs too? Some toast? We got sausage and bacon. I think the sausage needs to be used up.

(I’m hungry)

MAX: Sounds good, handsome, just... lemme kiss the chef first.

ROY: You got it.

(His kiss is the perfect way to start the day. And I get to start every single day like this. God, I’m so lucky)

ROY (from the kitchen): Seb called earlier, by the way. He wants to know if he can bring his cousin Ezra to the wedding.

MAX: I thought he was bringing that guy he was dating? I forget his name. He was doing magic tricks at the restaurant and it was kinda awkward. You know the one I mean?

ROY: Apparently that didn’t work out.

(Thank fucking God...)

ROY: You want coffee? Cream?

MAX: You read my mind.

(A LITTLE LATER)

ROY: Here you go, hot stuff. Breakfast fit for a king.

MAX: Look at all this. It’s like a banquet. You’re perfect, you know that?

ROY: In that case, maybe we should get married or something.

MAX: Very funny.

ROY: Eat up, big guy.

MAX: Yes Sir. Would you rub my belly?

ROY: Like this?

MAX: Ohhh yeah. That’s the ticket.

(Delicious breakfast, LOTS of it, and belly rubs in bed. This is the good life, alright. This is paradise)

MAX: I saw that deer again yesterday when I was out for my morning waddle through the woods.

ROY: You saw Deery?

...

We... should probably come up with a better name for it than that, huh?

MAX: Probably.

ROY: Hey, did you hear about that oil guy in England? I was reading about him earlier.

MAX (eating waffles): Mmm-hmm. You’re talking about Roger Harding, right? He’s a renowned dick in the business world, uh, or was... Everybody hated him... I met him at a summit once - The guy was so far up his own ass... He had some condition or other, wasn't it? He was...

ROY: Blowing up like a balloon, that’s the one.

MAX: I can’t think why that piqued your interest...

ROY: Haha! Okay, you joke but, I mean, did you hear about what happened?

MAX: I saw an interview - with his ex wife, I think. She said he’d gone crazy or something.

ROY: Apparently he just kept getting bigger and bigger.

MAX: What, are you trying to figure out his secret so you can do it to me? Haha.

ROY: Maybe without the last part!

MAX: Just a ‘maybe’? I’m touched.

ROY: Hey, you want some more waffles? I can make more.

MAX: Would you take "I’m stuffed" for an answer?

ROY: I’d take it as an invitation.

(I can’t say No to this man. He’s too goddamned gorgeous)

ROY: Oh, and the caterer - I almost forgot -  the caterer wanted to know if we could push the reception dinner back by a couple hours.

MAX: Oh my God, I’m gonna - I’ve had it with those damned caterers! You know, they’ve been nothing but a pain in my huge, juicy ass since we started planning this wedding!

ROY: (Sigh) I know.

MAX: That’s it. After breakfast I’m gonna find another company!

ROY: Max, you know it doesn’t have to be this big, expensive wedding, right? I don’t care what we do. I just care about being with you.

(He always makes so much sense. How can one man be so amazing? Sometimes I wonder if Roy is somehow several different amazing men all rolled into one...)

MAX: I know, I know...

ROY: This isn’t your first go around, after all.

MAX: True. But it is yours. And I wanna make sure it’s perfect for you. You deserve that.

(That and so much more)

ROY: I know I say it all the time, but you are a real, true gentleman, Mr Morgan. I love you so much.

MAX: I love you too, my big hunk.

ROY: You know what else you’ll love?

MAX: Is it more waffles?

ROY: Yes. Yes it is more waffles. That’s correct.

How does a ‘Movies & Couch Sunday’ sound for today? Apparently it’s gonna rain anyway. I’ll feed you snacks all day.

MAX: What, and put the nice stressful wedding planning on hold?

ROY: Just for today.

MAX: You got yourself a deal, sexy.