The [New] Limerick

My last collab partner reminded me of my favorite limerick.

Before [Bella] not-so-stealthily trapped me in her car to watch the sunrise, there was the night of the Limerick party.

The theater we were performing at was near my parent's house and it was my Mom's birthday the weekend we opened. I asked if I could host at her place if I laid down $100 for food. She agreed on one condition - we also celebrate her birthday and play her favorite party game. Ma Rapture's favorite party game is reading out loud form one of two limerick books. The Limerick and The New Limerick.

Now before I go on I need you to know that these books are heinous. I am not being cute - they have some truly, truly abhorrent content. Any sort of "-ism" or "-ality" you can imagine. Celebrities would be canceled for even thinking some of these things [and rightfully so]. The limericks have been gathered from as far back as the 1800's and I would say well over half are not worth reading and at least 25% should genuinely never be read by anyone ever [again - I'm not kidding about that]. Now once you've accepted that this book is more of a historical compilation and you know which sections to skip over you can have a lot of very off-color fun. I only mention this because if you come across these books you will encounter some tasteless content.

The other fun thing was that we [I] spontaneously invited the girls in the box office to come to this party and [for some reason] they actually showed up. There were three of them - two blondes and a brunette. I had my eye on one of the blondes. I would soon learn she was quite conservative.

My mother started with her favorite. An epic of several pages - The Farter From Sparta. A series of limericks in which a man performs classical music by blowing air from his asshole and winds up dying by collapsing in a pile of his own shit. What a way to kick things off.

As the books made their way around we took turns being appalled by the bad ones and sharing the [more accessible] ones with the group. When this eventually got old we started penning our own about each other. About how [dumb] one of the dancers was. About how [Bella] was actually a great actor [when you took into account she was a talentless model]. About how [I] only got hired because I slept my way to getting the role [I vehemently deny this, btw]. We went for the jugular. What a fucking blast. One of the best parties of my life. A lot of time was spent laughing through tears.

Anywho - I love the dynamite one. It's committed to memory. We'll come back to these books occasionally. If for no one else, so that I can tell my mom about some aspect of my new job.

This evening starts my final stretch of performances for several contracts. Tonight through Sunday will be a bit of a trial. Monday is a recovery day and hopefully we'll make that Tuesday drop but no promises. Until then, let me know your favorite dirty limerick and while I travel from stage to stage I'll see if I can whip up some originals. In the mean time, there's about 75 other posts to revisit and some new folx on Quinn.

I can't thank you enough for the support. It means so much to me. Thank you. I am so, so very much looking forward to getting back to work. I quite enjoy making these audios.

stay hydrated