Superman’s Biggest Cheerleader (Short Story)

Superman’s Biggest Cheerleader

Written by SteeleBlazer

The sun blazed brilliantly over Metropolis's newest architectural marvel – the Super Stadium, a gleaming colossus of steel and glass that could seat more people than any other sports venue on Earth. The atmosphere was electric as fans from both Metropolis and Gotham filled the stands to capacity for the LXIX Super Cup Championship. The match-up between the Metropolis Meteors and the Gotham Knights had been hyped as the game of the century, and with a sport filled with surprises and upsets, no one on this day could be upset with the day's biggest and most super shocking surprise—a surprise so big and so super that it was only fitting to be unveiled at the Super Cup Championships, so super that even Superman himself would be surprised. And no one could blame him if he was left perhaps a little upset by it.

The best part of the surprise was, you didn’t need to wait for the opening kickoff for the drama to start. In fact, there was already a great big commotion going on down on the football field. A little skirmish at least in comparison to the one that would follow that no one—not even Superman—would believe if you told him what was happening. Only, that isn’t the big surprise. Even though, as you’re about to find out, there isn’t anything little about what was happening—especially since it contained the entirety of both teams' rosters and their big strong studly men.

If you were a betting man or woman, you could place a wager on the game, and while the odds were two to one in favor of the Meteors, no one had a bet on what was really happening: that Lois Lane, intrepid reporter, would not just defy the odds but bulldoze those odds. And bulldoze everything else in her way. Lois would bowl over the players from both teams... at the same time.

Sounds amazing, doesn’t it? Sounds incredible. And if it sounds impossible, then congratulations—you just lost your bet.

But if you’re someone who bets on the impossible, keep reading to find out how not just two professional football teams were flattened, but even the mighty Superman himself was bowled over by Lois Lane at the Super Cup Championship.

The story begins as Superman soared through the crystal-clear sky, the commemorative gold coin for the opening toss gleaming in his hand. As he descended toward the field, his super-hearing picked up something unusual – a curious mixture of sounds that seemed out of place even for a championship football game. There was the expected clash of pads and helmets, but underneath it all was something else: the sound of feminine laughter, light and musical, yet somehow containing an edge of raw power.

The ground trembled beneath Superman's boots as he landed near the 50-yard line, each impact beneath him feeling more like the footfalls of a giant than anything that belonged on a football field. The tremors traveled up through his legs, jarring enough to make even the Man of Steel glance down in confusion. Then came the sounds that made him pause – the unmistakable crack of football pads being shattered, accompanied by startled cries from professional athletes who weren't used to being manhandled.

As Superman steadied himself, his eyes widened at the spectacular sight before him. Players from both teams were scattered across the field like bowling pins, some groaning, others staring in disbelief at the figure responsible for their current predicament. And at the center of this chaos was none other than Lois Lane – only he’d never seen her like this.

She had muscles. Not just muscles but muscles on top of muscles on top of muscles on top of muscles!

She was transformed, her frame expanded to truly heroic proportions. She was musclebound with seemingly boundless strength and muscles! She wore a Metropolis Meteors cheerleader uniform that struggled to contain muscles that would make a bodybuilder weep with envy, and in fact made Superman more than a bit envious himself. Her arms, exposed by the sleeveless top, rippled with power that seemed to defy human limitations. Each movement caused her muscles to flex and bulge in ways that made Superman's own impressive physique seem almost puny in comparison—a fact that would become undeniable the closer she got to him—which would make him realize he was, in fact, puny in comparison to her.

She noticed him then, flashing that familiar devil-may-care smile that somehow seemed even more dazzling when framed by her enhanced features, and he couldn’t help but wonder what the devil she was up to. With casual ease, she jogged over to him, each step sending tremors through the ground that made the Man of Steel's knees wobble slightly. The football she held looked comically small in her powerful grip.

"Hey, Superman!" she called out cheerfully, as if nothing was unusual about the situation. "Are you ready for some football!" She bellowed the last part, imitating the popular catchphrase that appeared on all professional football broadcasts.

Before he could respond, she playfully swatted his behind – a common gesture among athletes, but coming from her newly empowered form, the act itself was shocking—and it sent a surprising shock of pain through the normally invulnerable hero. He yelped, much to his embarrassment and to the amusement of the gathering crowd.

"Lois, you're... you're..." Superman struggled to find the right words, his usual eloquence deserting him as he took in her massive frame and tried to nonchalantly rub his sore backside.

"Big?" she supplied helpfully, flexing an arm that caused her bicep to swell to truly astronomical proportions. "That's quite an understatement, wouldn't you say?" She punctuated her words with a friendly clap on his shoulder that nearly drove him to his knees.

"How did this happen?" he managed to ask through gritted teeth, rubbing his shoulder where her casual roughhousing had been perhaps a bit too rough for even the Man of Steel. He was left feeling achy and not as steely as usual... But then, there was nothing usual about a large, lumbering Lois Lane.

Lois laughed, the sound rich and full of power. "Oh, that would be telling! But isn't it just super?" She struck another pose, her muscles expanding impossibly larger. "I mean, here we are at the Super Cup Championship, and I'm super-jacked enough to take on both teams single-handedly!" She flexed again, the motion causing her uniform to strain audibly. "Can't get much more super than that, can we?"

Another friendly clap on the shoulder—that felt anything but friendly—had Superman stumbling again. "No," he admitted, wincing. "You really can't..."

"Say," Lois's eyes sparkled with mischief, "how about a friendly game of one-on-one? Just you and me?"

"I don't think that's a good idea..." Superman started, but Lois had already shoved the football into his stomach with enough force to leave him gasping for air.

"Don't worry," she called over her shoulder as she took up a defensive position, her muscular form casting a long shadow across the field. "I'll take it easy on you. But I should warn you—I tackle like a girl!" Her laughter echoed across the stadium, sending shivers down Superman's spine.

Superman wasn’t sure what to make of her proclamation about tackling like a girl. It sounded like a strange boast, but as he would soon find out, it was an ominous warning... One he should have heeded.

Despite his reservations, Superman's pride wouldn't let him back down. He was still Superman, after all, and while he couldn’t deny how impressive Lois was with those gorgeously engorged muscles of hers, she was still only a woman. He decided he’d take it easy on her, expending just enough effort to put her in her place, impress her, and impress on her and show her the strength and power of a real Superman.

That was his game plan. But he was about to come face to face with not only one of the biggest shocks and upsets in all of sports history, but the biggest shock, upset, and surprise of his entire life. And I know you wouldn’t be shocked if I told you that this big shock and surprise came in the form of Lois Lane and that big fantastic, fabulous, superhuman physique of hers.

He called out "Hike!" and took off at what he considered a reasonable speed – fast enough to be impressive but not so fast as to embarrass Lois. Only Lois seemed to be able to match him step for step, move for move.

The impact that followed knocked both the wind and the pride out of him as Lois crashed into him with the force of a runaway city bus. Only he stopped runaway city buses before, and this time it was Lois herself that stopped Superman in his tracks, and he found himself flat on his back, face to face with Lois, with an up-close look at her triumphant smile.

"You'll have to do better than that," she whispered, her breath tickling his ear before she helped him up with a grip that felt like it could crush diamonds, and did in fact crush Superman’s hand, which he had to yet again grit his teeth to stifle his groan.

Determined to prove himself, Superman tried again on second down. This time, he unleashed his full super-speed, becoming nothing but a red and blue blur as he attempted to zip past her. But somehow, impossibly, Lois was there to meet him, her enhanced form moving with a grace and speed that shouldn’t have been possible for someone so muscular, let alone for a mere human like Lois to achieve. Not that there was anything mere about Lois—something she proved by not just matching his speed, but besting both it and his strength. Once again, he found himself sprawled on the turf, with more than just the wind knocked out of him, trying to catch his breath.

Third down brought out Superman's desperation. If speed wouldn't work, surely raw strength would. He was more powerful than a locomotive, after all. When he shouted "Hike!" this time, he charged straight at her, unleashing his full Kryptonian might.

The collision that followed shook the stadium to its foundations, but it was Superman who bounced off Lois's impossibly muscular and immovable form. He might be more powerful than a locomotive, but he wasn’t more powerful than Lois Lane as she effortlessly derailed his attempt to get past her, and all his effort wrought was the creation of a small crater where he landed. The crowd's collective gasp turned to cheers as Lois flexed triumphantly, her muscles seeming to grow even larger with each pose.

As Superman faced his fourth and final down, the reality of his situation began to sink in. The cameras were rolling, the crowd was watching, and Lois Lane – imposingly and impossibly muscular and unimaginably powerful Lois Lane – was standing there in her cheerleader outfit, looking more confident and imposing than any supervillain he'd ever faced.

She helped him up with that iron grip of hers, making him wince as her soft but incredibly strong hand nearly crushed his own. He tried to maintain his composure, but another playful spank from Lois sent him squealing in a most un-Superman-like fashion, drawing laughter from the packed stadium.

"Last chance, Superman," Lois teased, her muscles rippling with every movement. "Better make it count!"

Superman couldn’t count the number of times he had felt this humiliated, but he didn’t let that hold him back. After all, there had been countless moments before when things looked grim for him, and he’d always fought through. This was no different. He realized there was no holding back if he wanted to win—and at that moment, there was nothing he wanted more than to win. Well, maybe wipe that smug smile off Lois’s face, but he’d get to that after he’d won. Or so he thought.

Determination filled him as he took his position. He was Superman—the Man of Steel, the most powerful being on Earth. He'd faced down armies of supervillains, alien invasions, and world-ending threats. He wouldn't be stopped by Lois Lane, no matter how impressive her new muscles were.

When he called out "Hike!" this time, he charged forward with everything he had. The ground shook beneath his feet, his cape snapped in the wind, and sweat poured down his face as he summoned every ounce of his legendary strength. The unstoppable force that was Superman met the immovable object that was the new Lois Lane...

AND LOST... Impossible as it sounds, he lost due to those impossibly large and even more impossibly powerful muscles of hers.

The impact created a Superman-sized crater in the field, and the football popped free from his grasp, landing neatly in Lois's waiting hands. Looking up at her towering form from his position in the dirt, he could only gasp out one word: "Kryptonite?"

Got it! Here’s the section with your playful repetition of "defied" restored and sticking as closely as possible to your original style and intent:

Lois tucked the football between her massive pectorals and brought her arms out in front of her in a truly most muscular flex that made her entire body swell with superhuman power that defied not just logic but defied and bested a true Superman. The football exploded between her muscles as she flexed, and in that moment, it wasn’t just the football that popped—Superman’s ego, his pride, and the illusion that he was the most powerful being in the world all popped along with it. Lois grinned down at him. "No kryptonite needed, Superman. Just mighty female muscles!"

The stadium erupted in thunderous applause as Lois began an impromptu cheerleading routine, each jump and kick displaying her incredible strength and agility. Her muscles swelled and flexed with every movement, and the ground trembled beneath her feet.

Superman tried to make a dignified exit by taking to the air, ready to go up, up, and away from his shame. But before he could escape, he was suddenly yanked backward by his cape, pulled straight into the muscular arms of Lois Lane. Face to literal face with his crushing shame—and it was literally crushing—her brawny, bulging, beefy arms wrapped around him in a bear hug that drove the air from his lungs.

"Where do you think you're going?" she laughed. "It's not even halftime yet. It's my turn!"

"But... you broke the football," Superman protested weakly, still trying to catch his breath in her crushing embrace.

"I did, didn't I?" Lois grinned. "Never knew I could be such a ball-breaker! And I just love busting your balls, Superman. Stay right here while I get some new ones. Should I bring a spare pair just for you?"

Superman gulped. "No... one ball will be enough."

Lois released him with a wink and zoomed away at super-speed, the displaced air and catching Superman in her wake and sending him spinning like a top. When he finally stopped, she was already zooming back, and another gust sent him spinning in the opposite direction.

"Ready?" she asked when he finally steadied himself, the sheer superhuman power of Lois leaving him feeling dizzy in more ways than one.

"Yeah..." he managed to say, still dazed and so very confused about how this could all be happening and how Lois could be so strong. He didn’t really want to continue, but he felt powerless to stop all this. And soon, he was about to feel way, way, way more powerless when it came to actually trying to stop Lois herself.

"Good!" She gave him another stinging slap on the bottom that had him jumping and squealing and the crowd roaring with laughter. Taking her position, she called out "Hike!"

Lois took off like a rocket, and Superman charged to intercept her. But instead of meeting his tackle head-on, she gracefully sidestepped him, leaving him to plow face-first into the turf, creating a massive trench across the field. By the time he spat out a mouthful of grass and dirt, Lois was already celebrating in the end zone.

"Congratulations," Superman mumbled, trying to brush the dirt from his iconic suit, realizing that his reputation was as soiled now as what his suit was.

"Oh, don't get too comfortable," Lois called out cheerfully. "I've still got three more downs!"

"What?" Superman's eyes widened in dismay.

"Only fair, big man," Lois responded, punctuating her words with a playful punch to his shoulder that was far more painful than playful, nearly dislocating his shoulder. Superman winced, trying to rub the ache away, but his discomfort only seemed to fuel Lois’s delight. She beamed down at him with a smile so bright and confident it made the Man of Steel feel small in more ways than one. Lois was clearly having the time of her life, while Superman wished he could call a time-out—not just on the game, but on the whole embarrassing situation.

In a desperate attempt to reclaim some semblance of his dignity, Superman puffed out his chest and shoulders in a show of confidence. But halfway through the gesture, he felt foolish, the effort draining away as quickly as it had come. Especially when Lois, noticing his attempt, responded by flaring out her own massively muscled shoulders. Her body expanded in a display of raw power that left no question of who was stronger. Her shoulders alone seemed to double his in width, and the sight of them rising higher and broader literally cast him in her shadow. He couldn’t help but feel not just outmatched but completely eclipsed by her overwhelming presence.

With a grin that said she knew exactly the effect she was having on him, Lois sauntered back to the twenty-yard line. Each step made the ground gently quake beneath her feet—if ground could gently quake, that is—and Superman, still standing at the scrimmage line, felt those tremors rattling him down to his core.

"Hike!" she called out, and Superman charged again, summoning all his strength. This time, Lois didn't even bother to dodge – she simply extended one hand, catching his face in her palm and pushing him away as if he were a child trying to tackle an adult. He ended up in another Superman-shaped crater, this one with a 15-foot trench leading up to it, while Lois casually strolled into the end zone for another touchdown.

Superman lay there for a moment, staring up at the sky, feeling utterly humiliated. For the first time in his life, he didn’t feel like the Man of Steel. Instead, he felt like a little kid in pajamas, playing at being Superman rather than the real thing. And Lois, with her impossible strength and muscles, made him feel every bit as small as that thought suggested.

While Superman certainly wasn’t feeling jubilant and was in no mood for celebration, the cheerleaders went wild, and Lois zoomed over to them at super-speed, lining up alongside them. Despite her massive muscles, which jiggled, shook, and rippled with power, she matched their high kicks perfectly, her routine sending tremors through the stadium that shook, shuddered, and rippled across every corner—just like her muscles. Then, just as suddenly, she was right in front of Superman again. He’d barely gotten back to his feet when her powerful chest barely grazed and bounced against his, making the mighty hero—the pillar of strength that he was—stumble backward.

"Come on, Superman," she teased, her grin widening. "You can do better than that. I'd say you tackle like a girl, but that would be a compliment!"

Another slap on his back sent him stumbling forward, and it took all his superhuman strength and superpowers just to barely keep his balance, as Lois jogged back to the twenty-yard line with ease.

For her third down, Superman unleashed everything he had. He charged with the force of a supernova, determined to prove that the power to move planets could surely stop one supersized reporter. Instead, Lois met his charge head-on and not only flattened him but proceeded to drag him nearly seventy yards into the end zone, leaving behind a trench filled with Superman’s despair and desperation – and one that would require serious groundskeeping to fill and repair.

With a triumphant laugh, she crossed the goal line and spiked the football so hard it buried itself in the turf.

"I think you actually tried your best that time," Lois mused, looking down at his dirt-covered form. "But you should know that wasn't really my worst... or actually, it was, 'cause I could do so much better." She grinned as Superman spat out another clump of grass. "Now, get up! Let's finish our game. I'm going for the clean sweep!"

Before he could respond, Lois had zipped over to the cheerleaders, borrowed their pom-poms, and launched into an improvised cheer:

"Who's the strongest, who's the best?

 More super power than all the rest!

            Don't need saving, that's for sure,

            But Superman might need a cure!

 Go Super Lois! Watch me flex!

 Guess who's muscles are the best!"

She punctuated each line with poses that made her muscles swell to even more impressive proportions. Then she zoomed back to Superman, her speed sending him spinning like a top again. When he finally stopped, she offered him the pom-poms with a smirk.

"Maybe you'd prefer these instead? Might be more your speed..."

"Lois, I'm n--" Superman started to protest, but had to stop as he nearly lost his lunch from the dizziness.

"Well, I've been your biggest cheerleader for so long, I just thought you might want to return the favor," Lois teased before speeding back to return the pom-poms to the cheerleaders. In a flash, she was back at the line of scrimmage, a brand-new football in hand, ready and waiting to continue the game, while Superman wobbled his way into position, his legs feeling like jelly.

Looking at her impossibly muscular form, he couldn't help but wonder how he could possibly stop someone with such incredible strength. Her muscles weren't just big – they were harder than anything he'd ever encountered.

"Ready?" Lois asked playfully.

After taking a deep breath, Superman managed a weak "Yeah."

"Hike," Lois said casually. Superman closed his eyes, bracing for impact – but nothing came. When he opened them, Lois hadn't moved. She simply smiled and blew him a kiss, the resulting gust nearly knocking him over.

"Come and get me, Superman," she challenged with sly wink.

Superman steadied himself and walked toward her, feeling the weight of every camera and eye in the stadium on him, just as he felt the weight in his legs and on his shoulders. It made him drag his feet and slump his shoulders, the very image of defeat. He tried to put on a brave face, but it was so covered with dirt and grass stains that he doubted anyone could see anything but his fear right now. When he reached her, he planted his feet and pushed with all his might, trying desperately to drive her backward.

Lois just smiled, unbothered, and took a casual step forward, her impossible strength evident as she began walking toward the end zone with Superman straining uselessly against her. Step by step, she advanced, completely unstoppable, while Superman struggled with everything he had—and achieved absolutely nothing. His boots tore into the turf, digging long trenches in the field as he tried to gain some kind of purchase, but the harder he pushed, the deeper the ruts became, each one a humiliating testament to his utter futility.

Sweat poured down his face, stinging his eyes, and his entire body trembled with effort. Meanwhile, Lois walked with an air of calm confidence, her steps steady and unhurried, not even breaking a sweat. Each casual stride she took broke not just the illusion of Superman as the great hero but shattered his ego into a million pieces. Still, he tried, desperately clawing for some shred of dignity among the broken fragments. But all his futile efforts only drew laughter from the crowd, their amusement reinforcing just how weak he looked compared to Lois. Every chuckle from the stands seemed to make things worse, pushing his humiliation to new depths.

Finally reaching the end zone, Lois took the football, placed it between her forearm and bicep, and with one magnificent flex, popped it like a balloon. The last vestiges of Superman’s ego popped right along with it.

"I just love busting your balls!" she winked at Superman. Then she blew him another kiss, her bicep swelling even larger as she did so. The force of her super-powered kiss swept Superman off his feet and sent him crashing to the ground, where all his illusions and sense of grandeur about being the strongest person in the world came crashing down with him.

As he lay there, Lois walked over and planted her foot on his red trunks, striking a victory pose for the crowd as she celebrated her triumph. Looking down at him, she smirked, "It was a clean sweep, and I think you need to clean up and hit the showers!"

Her foot pressed down slightly, just enough for Superman’s panic to spike. He thought to himself, she really does love breaking my balls, hoping—desperately hoping—it was only a joke. Then, as if to tease him further, she gave a gentle, deliberate press that sent a jolt of dread through him. But just as quickly, her foot eased up, and he caught the playful glint in her eye and the mischievous curl of her smile. In a flash, she was gone, celebrating with the cheerleaders by lifting two of them overhead while they led the crowd in chants of "Super Lois! Super Lois!"

Superman let out a long sigh of relief. For while his super-manhood had been crushed in spirit before the entire stadium, at least she hadn’t actually crushed his actual manhood.

As Superman lay there, something changed inside him. Or maybe it just clicked into place. Lois had always been his biggest cheerleader, and now she was bigger than he could have ever imagined. Maybe it was time for him to return the favor.

Getting to his feet, he zoomed over to the cheerleaders, borrowed a pair of pom-poms, and joined in the celebration of the new most powerful person in Metropolis. The entire stadium joined in, and the cheers for Super Lois could be heard around the world.

The Super Cup Championship would go down in history, not for the game that was supposed to be played—which had to be called off, not just due to the extensive damage to the field, but also because of the injuries to both teams’ rosters. Lois Lane had done more that day than just injure Superman’s pride.

And so, the day would forever be remembered as the moment when Superman’s biggest cheerleader became not only bigger than Superman himself but also truly more super.