Mind Games - Chapter 35

“Whoa, hey... are you a student here?”

I blinked, turning towards the white-haired man wearing a pretty standard blue school blazer. Decent semi-athletic build that told me he either didn't have a physical enhancement quirk, or it was entirely modal in nature. The lack of a casual outfit, too, made me want to disregard him entirely. There was a written test, yes, but the practical hero exam would almost certainly require combat, even if you knew nothing about the test itself in specific.

At the very least, though, he had some level of confidence in his stance.

“No, I'm here for the entrance exam, same as you,” I shrugged.

White-hair gave me an odd look, his blue eyes shimmering with glitter-like sparkles. I'm sure he made girls swoon with that same look, which probably explained the confidence. “But... you're wearing a costume?”

I shrugged, my black jumpsuit shifting with the movement, the same with the sash at my waist. “They said to come in comfortable clothes that you can do physical activities in and won't restrict quirk usage.”

“You do know we're just taking the entrance exam, right dude? We're not even students yet, let alone pros,” he said, continuing to look at me weirdly as we walked towards the exam hall.

The part of me that had loved watching Eminence in Shadow internally debated intentionally fostering the misunderstanding that was inevitably going to occur. On the one hand, all I'd have to do to perpetuate it would be to say nothing and refuse to explain. A few chunni comments later and I'd be perfectly set up for the dramatic reveal.

On the other hand... I'd have to deal with the constant background noise of people giving me shit. Also, I'd put good money on at least one of the teachers deciding to spoil the surprise. It wasn't as if Endeavor hadn't sent over my Office Hero License, my internship information, and the supplemental quirk evaluation. I mean, it's possible that Nezu decided to just wing the entire thing with the most basic file to prevent preconceptions from leaking in, but I doubted it.

He might be a rat bastard, but he didn't tolerate people getting hurt on his watch, and letting chaos factors into the school was a good way to make that happen.

I opened my mouth to respond-

“Whoa! Y-you're Bootstrap, aintcha?!”

The boy passing me had suddenly stopped and double-taked at my appearance. Although I wasn't wearing the headscarf I'd taken as part of my look, I still had on the Kakashi-esque half-mask on and the outfit was pretty much a dead giveaway.

White hair blinked at the sudden intrusion into our conversation, leaning back a little in surprise.

The black-haired buff-dude approached me with a wide grin as I raised a hand. “Hey demon, it's me. Ya'boi.”

His eyes widened and a high-pitched squealing sound that should have emerged from a preteen girl poured out of his throat. “It is you! Dude, you're an inspiration! The reason I got into shape to become a hero! C-can I just-”

Obligingly, I reached out and took the teenager's hand, repressing the vague sense of disbelief that hung over my thoughts while I did so. It certainly didn't help that I could practically feel recognition sweep through the crowd of students as roughly half-

-fucking half of the glut of teenagers-

-turned to regard me with wide eyes, pointed fingers, nudges to their friends, and whispered assertions of recognition.

'Who is he? Never heard of him!'

'Girl, c'mon! He's like THE GUY! The dude who started the whole hero fitness channel thing!'

'Bootstrap? Holy shit, that is him! I knew his hair wasn't red!'

'OMG! I've got his entire karaoke set as a playlist!'

'Does he have a girlfriend?'

'Pft! Forget that! Does he have a boyfriend?'

'Jokes on you, I've got both parts! What a catch, not even a pro yet and he already has three hundred thousand followers!'

I felt a facial muscle twitch and violently suppressed the urge to punch myself from ten months ago in the face. I could do it, too. It would probably burn me out for the day, but it'd be worth it. That bastard deserved it, even.

“Booo~oooostrap-kun!”

Oh, there's my girlfriend here to make everything worse.

I sighed, then flexed my shoulders to give her the correct signal. We were both... prickly people, at times. Announcing her presence like that made sure I wouldn't accidentally interpret someone suddenly wrapping their arms around me as an attack rather than a display of affection.

Then my girlfriend slipped her hands around my torso and I accommodated, drawing further attention from the crowd as she nuzzled me like a cat...

...marking its territory. Huh.

Himiko and I hadn't properly talked out a third member for our relationship, though I knew she wanted one. Preferably, to my understanding of her mindset, it would be a cute girl she could get cuddly with. I think it was her way of resolving her more traditional upbringing and what she'd found on The Company's network about 'First Wife Roles.'

The, ahh... 'rational' move there was to find me a mistress that she approved of and wouldn't conflict with the dynamics of the relationship.

But I suppose a bunch of random people looking at me like I was a piece of meat set her off the other way.

“Hey Babe, you just got here?” I asked, mostly for the sake of the audience.

“Villain made my train late,” Himiko pouted. “Totally un-cute. Can't he at least fight off the tracks if he has to be a jerk like that?”

I chuckled as I slipped an arm around her shoulders and finally gave the crowd my attention, raising my other hand in greeting. “Yo! Some of you know me as Bootstrap. I'm a dude on the internet who does fitness videos and discusses hero-life topics and stuff. Right now, though, I'm just here to take the UA Entrance Exam. None of this is getting filmed, there aren't going to be any pictures, nothing like that.”

I paused, considering how to close things out as the muttering continued.

'That's gotta be Blondie!'

'Oooh! From the karaoke stream?! She's going to be a hero too?'

'I think I'm gonna cry tears of blood here, man. Dude has an internship with Endeavor, a huge HeroTube channel that's gotta make bank, and a hot girlfriend on top of it!'

'Hey, where's Buster? Did he get sick or something? No way my bro would miss this!'

'Idiot. Buster and Codename Pinkie are trying next year, they're not old enough to get into high school.'

“I wish you all the best of luck and hope you've prepared for the test like you should have,” I stated, raising my voice to speak over the crowd. Moving both hands towards the testing hall, I motioned like I was directing traffic. “Now, if we don't want to cause trouble for the UA staff and start off with a bad relationship, I'd suggest we all get in and situated for our exam.”

Several people stiffened, many more had their eyes widen, and others just turned to hurry into the exam room.

I sighed in relief and gave Himiko's head a pat, which earned me happy girlfriend noises.

“Well, I suppose it's good I didn't have to intervene, at least.”

I turned, nodding at the spacesuit clad hero. “Thirteen. Sorry about that. In hindsight, I suppose the Venn diagram of people who watch hero-motivational stuff and people who want to go here is basically a circle.”

There was a quiet rasp of laughter behind her speaker.

“Bootstrap,” the black hemisphere bobbed once in recognition before shifting subtly. “And Toga-san. We've been briefed on both of you. The UA faculty expect an exceptional showing.”

“We'll try to impress!” Himiko smiled, waving as she stood up properly and gave a quick bow.

Thirteen gave an echoing laugh from inside her suit. “I'm sure you will. Both of you. Now hurry along, you wouldn't want to be late.”

Himiko and I both bowed and moved off.

White-hair came up along my side, dipping his head politely. “Sorry about that, man. I, uh... didn't think you were-”

I shrugged, waving him off. “It's fine. Really, don't worry about it. You were just trying to make sure I wasn't breaking any rules, right?”

He colored, but nodded. “Yeah, I just... ah, shit. My name's Ooishi Tsuki, but with like – the character for melody instead for my family name.”

I blinked, then nodded, extending my hand. “Shinso Hitoshi. Just... don't spread it around too much. I'm planning to use Bootstrap around the school, mostly.”

“And I'm Toga Himiko!” My girlfriend interjected with a smile. “Hero name Carmilla!”

“Whoa, you both...” The teen shook his head, his shoulders slumping. “Man, and I thought I'd prepped for this!”

I chuckled. “Don't look at it like that. Himiko and I are interns. We've had training, but we've never really been in a proper villain fight using our quirks or anything-” That I can publicly admit to, anyway. “-most of what we do is filing paperwork and getting coffee.”

Himiko effortlessly backed my lie up as we crossed the threshold of the exam hall.

“That... does make it better, I guess,” Ooishi took a breath, then nodded and slammed his left fist into his right palm. “Okay. Time to crush this. Best of luck, dude!”

“Good luck to you too,” I nodded, using the traditional Japanese 'ganbatte,' even if it wasn't exactly the same thing. 'Luck' was something of a four letter word in this country. Instead, the word translated to something like, 'do your best.' It was implicitly understood that if you failed, you failed because of a lack of preparation or effort, not because random chance fucked you over.

Even if that was entirely a thing that happened.

“Good luck, Dear,” Himiko offered quietly.

“You too, Dear,” I murmured, watching her visibly inflate from the burst of happiness that gave her.

Walking to our very different sections – different schools – we both sat down and waited for the written portion to be handed out.

…

The test was a test.

I'm sure I would have found it challenging... if I wasn't me.

Or didn't have my advantages.

But I was and did.

Which is why it wasn't, and why I'd excused myself early for a bathroom break.

Because even the sociopathic gerbil himself, Nezu, wouldn't put cameras in the bathroom. I mean, I'm sure he tried and I checked anyway, but someone had probably put their foot down at some point in the process and it hadn't actually happened.

I opened the portal against the wall of the bathroom stall and stepped through to my Apartment.

My Home was still on order.

Because while I'd verified the Rat Bastard didn't have cameras in the bathroom, I wouldn't put it past him to have planted listening devices in the vents or something.

“Okay, I'm actually kind of busy here and I know that you know that, so I'm curious what could be so urgent that you'd call me while I'm occupied with one of the only important things I actually have to do in the near future that I can't adjust the timing on,” I stated bluntly.

“Hello to you too, Contractor,” Velma replied, her voice dry.

“I am in one of the highest security buildings in the country and its run by a one-raccoon surveillance state. You've got ten minutes, max, before Nezu decides I've been in the bathroom long enough to send a teacher to check and make sure I'm sick,” I replied, my voice tight.

“Alright, alright. I'll make this quick,” my liaison relented. “My bosses put pressure on me to call as soon as I could and you are technically on break right now. Long story short, someone made a complaint about your situation. We think it was a nosy middle-manager.”

“Were they complaining that I got fucked over and sent to a mislabeled pit of eldritch abominations or were they complaining that I was receiving undue favoritism to counterbalance the mistake?” I asked, genuinely curious.

Even if The Company wasn't actually the Celestial Bureaucracy in truth, there were a great deal of common elements between the two in structure and mode of operation.

My memories of Tempestuous Fatespun Courtesan informed on how petty and malicious bureaucrats could be, in particular.

“The former rather than the latter,” Velma replied, making me relax.

Minutely.

“So I've been instructed to offer you some concessions, since the deal we made previously was – technically – under duress with you being kidnapped – as well as possibly concussed – and all,” she sighed. “First and foremost, in addition to the missions we've forwarded you, and we'll be working up a few more, your options in terms of acquisitions are opening back up. Objects, though, not people.”

All of that was true, and if I had a gun to my head, I'd admit that I made a mediocre – at best – choice in the haste of everything. Still, I wasn't the kind of person who bitched and whined when it wouldn't do me any good. I'd gotten enough concessions that the death trap was potentially survivable, and I'd wanted to be a hero anyway.

And this world needed a hero.

But, I also wouldn't turn down a nice bonus if one dropped in my lap. All I had to do was make sure there weren't any poisonous strings attached to the bargain.

Which, of course, was why Velma had called me as soon as possible while I coincidentally happened to be in a time-sensitive situation and there were surely no other reasons.

The objections, already half-formed on the tip of my tongue, died. “Mythos artifacts only? Or something else?”

“Mainly mythos artifacts,” she confirmed, “but we're willing to at least look at and bargain for anything suitably unique. There was some talk of opening up sales options for bound targets again, but our office still can't find another branch willing to do the dirty work of processing them without charging... well, let's just say it would be a lot easier if they only wanted arms and legs.”

“That's... actually decent news,” I stated slowly, cautiously. Being able to make more credits in exchange for removing hazardous objects from the world was not at all morally objectionable. Which made me concerned. “What's the catch?”

“The pay's shit,” she replied bluntly. “Flat rate commission, no consignment opportunities, and the containment units for safely shipping your finds cost a pretty penny, so until that's made back your margins are going to be even more shit than usual.”

I could live with that, and said as much.

“To start out, we'll give you two points for the statues,” Velma stated, her fingers flying over a keyboard. “Which will let you keep your ten point cushion and get that bike you've been eyeing.”

“I'll... sell them in a couple of days,” I replied, irritated that this offer had come now, when I was finally going to be able to safely examine the damn things. “Now that I've got the manse, I want to actually analyze the things.”

“Hmm... alright, but any damage will nix the sale,” Velma warned. “Next up, we're actually supposed to offer you something that you want. So if you'd like a discount on product or-”

“I want you to turn off the love confession binding.”

A burst of static as she sighed into the line. “Yeah, kind of figured. Okay, cutting to the point here, because you're on a time limit. You have more than enough reasons to legitimately go rogue against my branch of the Company. We're small and can be written off if middle-management thinks our assets divided up will be more useful than the sum of the parts as they exist right now.”

I remained silent, but nodded. When you had larger powers who could even vaguely profit by your own demise, it was pretty standard to find them circling like sharks or vultures at the first opportunity.

“So as much as I dislike my little corner of Hell,” Velma continued over my inner monologue heedlessly, “my life will probably get shittier if we get absorbed into a bigger branch. So I'm in agreement with my bosses that the best way to avoid that is to get you enough women – or cute twinks, I've read your file – so that you'll think twice before going rogue, escaping that reality, and killing my immediate bosses.”

I blinked, considering that ultimatum.

Which... made sense, I suppose. People with families to support were less likely to go start or participate in a revolution and I was... let's charitably call it 'relationship-averse,' even with Himiko. In fact, it would be an act of remarkable charity to call what we had a 'relationship' in the classic sense.

“You want me to have a bunch of women to take care of so I won't go on the warpath for sticking me on a deathworld,” I summed up, digesting the thought.

“So you can see why my bosses are hesitant to turn off the love confession binding,” she replied bluntly. “You're sticking to your guns on how you're using bindings, which has my branch office concerned. If you go ahead and build a harem, though...”

I didn't sigh, the beginnings of real anger bubbling up inside of me. “How likely do your files and simulations rate me going rogue if I end up with partners and spouses that irritate me and actively make my life harder?”

There was a moment of near-silence as the tapping of keys rang out.

“Five women and we turn the love binding clause off,” she stated.

“I have Himiko,” I stated. “We'll have a kid in five years at this rate. That should more than satisfy your bosses.”

“Fine, three,” Velma replied tiredly and I heard the rattle of her glasses being removed. “Jinkies, Hitoshi, I can't go any lower. Really. There have to be three women in that setting you can bind without losing your shit.”

I hesitated. Three? I already had Himiko and she'd made noises about getting me a mistress. Worst case... I wouldn't feel bad about binding Kizuki Chitose – Alias: Curious – into my service. Hell, the woman was crazy enough to see the restored youth and enhancement of her powers as an even trade. She was a CEO, too, they were all at least a little bit insane.

The third... Hatsume? Ragdoll of the Pussycats? I didn't have a full psych workup done for either of them, given they weren't immediately relevant, but they both seemed unstable enough to at least think about taking a deal. Or I could track down that crazy bitch from the second movie, the one with the hair...

“Three,” I confirmed, “the second I have three bound, you turn off the love confession mechanic.”

Velma heaved a sigh of relief. “Alright, that should-”

“I also want you to lift the quarantine,” I added, talking over any immediate rebuttal. “You want me to feel safe and secure raising a family, I need to be able to have a line of retreat open in case of emergencies. I want Exit Stage Left and We Will Meet Again. That's twenty credits, barely a blip.”

Velma took a deep breath. “Do you really have time for lengthy negotiations? I thought you were-”

“Going to let you run roughshod over me like last time?” I asked, humming. “On second thought, I can stay on the line as long as it takes. So what if I miss the practical? I've still got next year and its no skin off your nose, right?”

I leaned back and propped my feet up on the overcrowded coffee table strewn with stolen valuables as the woman on the other end of the line groaned.

“You're really going to self-sabotage to that level to get what you want?” Velma asked, playing for time.

“Define self-sabotage,” I replied blandly. “Because the way I see it, my hero career is the sideshow. It's a useful ruse and a comfortable disguise that allows me to see to Company duties in a more timely fashion with less hassle. What you and your bosses want, though, that's what my priorities should be. Agree or disagree?”

Velma was silent for a moment, obviously taking in the trap I'd laid out.

If she agreed that their priorities were the ones I should care about, then I was correct both in prioritizing this conversation as well as arguing for greater benefits, since that would (presumably) enable me to do my job better. If she disagreed, well... that would probably be a serious black mark on her record if this conversation ever came under review, and also meant that any concession on her part was tacitly negligible in the grand scheme of things because it would allow me to get back to 'what mattered' faster, which was the pending exam.

I had three more minutes to get out of the bathroom before I passed the estimation of what The Rat would consider suspicious and another fifteen past that to get to the testing zone since I'd finished the written exam early.

“This is why I hate dealing with Exalts,” Velma muttered. “You're all smug bastards.”

I remained silent, letting the pressure build on her.

“Alright, fine. Look, I can't raise the quarantine on you. Just can't. I have to kick that up the chain and that does legitimately take time.” I hummed at her explanation and she continued in a slightly less harried tone. “What I can swing, though, is a pass to the Bronze Tier of The Company's Lounge. They have the kinds of wards and security to handle an eldritch breach that we don't. You'll be able to meet with other Contractors and Agents and potentially make deals for useful merchandise. I even know a guy who sells lightsabers, I can hook you up.”

On the one hand... not what I wanted and not what would let me retreat. Even once I got my new Home, I still didn't trust those protections in a full on 'Stars Come Right' scenario apocalypse. I wanted to be able to bail on the MHA world if need be. I was heroic, not suicidal, and I'd seen enough Crisis events play out in various media to want an escape hatch for me and mine.

But access to what was effectively a trade hub of sorts could get me the tools to get what I needed... eventually.

“I'll take the Lounge Access in lieu of lifting the quarantine,” I stated, accepting the deal. Then, immediately pressing my advantage, I continued. “I also want Corruption Defense.”

“Are you serious?” Velma practically squawked.

“To cut the faux-outrage off before you get up to steam,” I interjected, “Yes, you've given me a credit payout and several relatively easy missions to cover up the fact that you dumped me into a world that has a substantially higher danger than it should. I do appreciate that, but I do not appreciate being forced into this position in the first place. I also do not appreciate trying to pin me against time-sensitive events to force me into making decisions like this. Fuck Around, Fine Out.”

“I don't have the authorization for a fifty-credit Major Defense, Hitoshi!” She stated, choosing not to fight me on my accusations. “I'd need to kick this up-”

“Then do it,” I replied, unflinching.

“I-” Velma started, then stopped as there was a noise in the background. “One moment.”

I blinked and pulled the phone away from my ear as hold music began playing. Raising an eyebrow, I stared at the device before looking at the clock again.

One minute.

Awesome.

I forced myself to relax.

The hold music clicked off. Velma sighed into the receiver. “Okay. Corruption Defense. Access to the Bronze Lounge. And we'll turn the Love Confession Binding off after three women. We'll send you a fully updated replacement contract and you can look it over at your leisure so you're not under a time constraint. This will replace your current contract and all previous agreements will be incorporated into it, indicating acceptance of your current situation and waiving any further right to bargain for compensation.”

I thought it over for a moment, and knew it wasn't enough.

Now that I was getting into UA, things would get more dangerous, even with the 'plot' a year away. I'd derailed that pretty thoroughly, though, and could no longer count on the stations of canon... if I'd ever been able to in the first place. The sane, rational thing to do was acknowledge that I was in over my head, take my ball, and go home. I'd past that point a long time ago, though.

“I'll look it over once I get it,” I replied instead. “Assuming everything is on the level, I'll sign it and get it back to you.”

“Good,” Velma sighed again. “And... for what it's worth, this was never personal, Hitoshi.”

“Just business,” I replied with a nod as I stood. “It always is.”

The line disconnected and I slipped the phone back into my pocket as I stepped back into the toilet stall I’d occupied, thankful that the Japanese-style public restrooms had floor-to-ceiling doors without those stupid shitty gaps for people to look through.  Making a show of flushing, I rattled the lock and stepped out, immediately heading for the sink to wash my hands.

Meeting my own gaze in the mirror, I steeled myself.

Even if I was confident in my own success, I’d need to take this seriously.

It was time to kick some ass.

~~~

So the UA Entrance Exam Begins!

...and, yes, I know I promised some reactions this chapter, but I needed space for a different scene and then things ran long. Specifically, this one is about 1k longer than usual, so there's that at least.

Next chapter I already have outlined and it will START with some Nezu/All Might/Aizawa conversation POV stuff right out of the gate. Super-duper promise

This week I'm going to work on that chapter of Where Your God Is and probably... something else. Not sure. Really want to get that SAO chapter done.

Thank you for your support and patience!