Winning Peace Chapter 4
Added 2023-02-09 11:50:41 +0000 UTCSo, shit's hit the fan and now it's time to clean up. Our protagonist has a crisis of conscience over whether or not he played a role in the events of the past week, but does he make the right decision in response to it? Only time will tell.
Next chapter of this will be an Interlude some years on that I might have out for the weekend. Maybe not, depends on if I can manage a chapter of Industrious or a quest update before then. Still, I'm optimistic.
I hope everyone enjoys the update (even if I know this isn't a personal favorite of many). Still, gotta' spread the love just a bit.
Thank you again for all your support and I hope you have a great day.
Comments
Just got around to reading this chapter and I have to say I might be starting to like this story more than Industrious. Now that the story seems to be picking up will you be doing what you've done in Industrious and start showing which chapter he gained different abilities?
Elderlucian
2023-02-17 15:56:42 +0000 UTCIs it wise to use the relay? They’re an unknown player to the reapers. He could either dodge them entirely I.e. wait until after the cycle, or try to find the reapers while they sleep and pepper them with exotic bombs. ( better be all the bombs though, you only get one chance at that)
Nick
2023-02-10 05:20:50 +0000 UTCI can't wait till the Mars find that lets the MC know which universe he's in, as well as kicking off humanity's use of eezo and discovery of the Sol Relay.
Sogen
2023-02-10 04:26:20 +0000 UTCI wonder what kinda aesthetics the ships have for this verse? Still an interesting story!
Klever Kilvanya
2023-02-10 03:23:26 +0000 UTCI... thought I had it at 12 point standard font, but somehow it was at 11. Weird. Fixed now, tough, thanks.
Slayer Anderson
2023-02-10 00:36:05 +0000 UTCso im not mad but is it just me or did the text get smaller?
Chucksonwoods
2023-02-09 16:07:17 +0000 UTCI am absolutely in love with this story so far.
Louis Kasser
2023-02-09 15:06:09 +0000 UTCYeah, the 'cosmic horror' part made me think of Leviathan indoctrination considering how near they are to the end of the cycle
Axel Wate
2023-02-09 14:01:28 +0000 UTCConsidering this is a Mass Effect fict the fears of the terrorist group seem to be legit. Bomb humanity to the stone age and the remnants have the potential to be ignored by the reapers. That is if they don't get flagged by the monitoring system in the relays.
Ben Benson
2023-02-09 13:07:31 +0000 UTCHe feels as though he had some culpability by contributing to the tensions and providing advancements that the governments of the world used against each other, but doesn't think that the bombs being dropped was actually his fault in any tangible fashion. Put a different way, he's no more at fault than any other citizen of a major power. On the flipside, though, he feels that he should have taken a more active role in making decisions and directing world affairs than he did, even if it would have been an uphill battle to do so. Even then, though, this is a hindsight criticism and he knows it. This disaster wasn't his fault and he knows it, but the fact that it happened means he thinks he should step up to the plate in the future.
Slayer Anderson
2023-02-09 12:56:19 +0000 UTCThis is an Inspired Inventor fix that barely touches inspired inventor I feel. I feel like it’s a bit TOO much of a background thing. I little bit more ‘cool tech / innovation / amazing thing invented / stolen from other series’ is missing. I don’t think the second in command would describe their captains means of suicide. Just say he’s gone or killed himself. Wife and kids as reasoning is enough. Whether countries were hit by the initial nukes or not, nuclear winter is probably gonna start. Blotted out sun and all that. Might want the MC to start investing into Terraforming / Weather Control / something to clear that up. It feels, weirdly to say, that’s there’s too much character interaction going on in compared to Inspired Inventor coolness. I think we barely know 5 things in total he’s invented or improved with it. Also, the MC should take responsibility for the stupidity of mankind. Especially if he remembers the Cold War and the Cuban middle crisis and the one time a Russian didn’t fire the nuclear missiles in RL because he thought it wasn’t correct. Humanity has always come close to annihilating itself. Please don’t make the Mc a self pity self blame for this. It’s basically illogical and annoying. Since it JUST happen in story I understand, but hopefully it doesn’t come up again. Humanity is able to make their own decisions, without an 18 year old or his decisions being a big factor.
RTY
2023-02-09 12:50:08 +0000 UTCNice chapter, I liked it a lot, possibly way more than the previous ones. The main probled I had with the previous ones are two: one it is that those chapters are impersonal, MC describes the situation and adds two cents of his, but he never felt...emotionally invested. The second problem was, unfortunately, timing. It might simply be that you wanted to use the Nuclear War as soon as possible, mostly to not have people like characters that would have died, like to not have a Leviathan battle (worm) situation, but the way he rushed was felt. Take for example the last chapter, you started describing the various nations only to destroy them a few lines later. I think something you could have used for exposition and to show MC character is a press conference in a city, maybe with a child his guards caught trying to steal to eat something that he brought up in the conference and that he remembered when the bombs exploded. The previous chapter ended with " My breath caught in my throat as mushroom clouds began to blossom all over my home planet.". no outward reaction, for all we knew he could be playing WWZ 2077 edition. Something emotional like a "I just couldn't comprend it, those bastards...they really did it" or something like that In the latest (4) chapter we can finally start to feel it, his doubts, his sadness and helplessness as he starts predicting the effects of the Nuclear war
Axel Wate
2023-02-09 12:28:03 +0000 UTCnice chapter i liked it a lot. please ignore the request i sent. fat finger mistake
AudasViator
2023-02-09 12:02:27 +0000 UTC
