Winning Peace 2
Added 2023-01-02 11:02:55 +0000 UTCSo, yeah, another chapter of this popped out. I think I've got a good idea of where I need to go with this story for about five chapters worth of content. We'll see what happens when I get to that point. I'll either see some potential for a full story or I'll consign it to the ideas bin.
Poll coming up soon.
Comments
This has potential but it I think the MC still needs to set himself apart from Tony somehow. Right now it fees like everythings a mirror (eg. government demanding something, Rhodey, etc)
Ozzy117
2023-01-06 02:55:19 +0000 UTCIt's probably because the first two chapters are intended to be fairly standard. Chapter three is where things either get interesting or I begin losing inspiration for the story. Next chapter makes or breaks the entire thing.
Slayer Anderson
2023-01-03 06:15:39 +0000 UTCSo this isn't canon mass effect ? Nice. I was worried the protag was only going to be the genius behind all the tech. Now I'm assuming he is going to get his hands dirty. After all a Tony Stark without Iron man shenigans is no Tony Stark...
Guilherme Bezerra
2023-01-02 22:40:09 +0000 UTCAh… you remember when that chapter of Industrious dropped and revealed the Hyuuga had been massacred? Next chapter of Winning Peace will be like that except with Mass Effect canon.
Slayer Anderson
2023-01-02 22:34:27 +0000 UTCThe Tony impersonation isn't really the problem to me. Funny even. My issue is more with the narrative. While the protag is young isn't the timeline too soon for any kind of star exploration? He is already a billionare but even with the automation he has available wouldn't he be too old by the start of mass effect canon?
Guilherme Bezerra
2023-01-02 22:28:30 +0000 UTCThanks for the feedback. Even negative reviews tell me important things. Don't feel like you guys have to absolutely love everything I put up. I know a lot of people here for Industrious don't particularly enjoy my waifu catalog stuff either, so there's that. As far as Winning Peace goes, the make-or-break chapter is the third one, so I'd enjoy seeing what you think of it, especially as people who haven't enjoyed the story up to this point. Like I said, though, I've only got through chapter five planned for now and will defer judgement on how viable this one is until we get to that point.
Slayer Anderson
2023-01-02 18:50:02 +0000 UTCThis doesn't do much for me. Not bad but if it got a thread of its own it wouldn't be a follow either.
Vanathor
2023-01-02 16:18:53 +0000 UTCI think the issue is that it currently reads a little like a more anti-social Tony Stark, especially with Rhodes. But next chapter he should actually be going to space so I am very much looking forward to that.
Matt M
2023-01-02 14:35:24 +0000 UTCYa, I'm sorry, this one is still hitting me wrong, it feels like I'm liking the characters less and less with each paragraph, and I'm not connecting the setting you're writing in to the supposed base material. Which is too bad, I should like this, I love your writing, I like Inspired Inventor Fics, And Mass Effect is a fine franchise.
Alec
2023-01-02 14:34:12 +0000 UTC
