This Romantic World Page 185
Added 2021-03-25 21:23:44 +0000 UTCStill figuring out the details on how to write Nadine and Shiro as a couple. I like their banter, but I wonder where I should know when to cut it off. Here feels about right, but we'll see. Let me know what you think if you've got an opinion!
Comments
Hey fascinating stuff! Thanks for taking the time to work on this, I love reading this kind of thing. :)
Reinbach
2021-04-05 23:46:15 +0000 UTCSorry this took long to mention. I forgot I said that I had an idea.
The Funny Hatter
2021-04-01 21:20:05 +0000 UTCSo, the main idea is that Nadine is not sure whether or not she wants a real relationship with Shiro. She struggles with the idea of someone truly caring about her vs the idea of a kid who is feeling puppy love. She cant make up her mind on whether or not she wants Shiro to stay or go to college with her, until her indecisiveness ends up pushing Shiro away to going to college. In her guilt, she stops talking to him when he makes efforts to contact her with no reply. Maybe within his junior to senior year, she decides to come out of the blue to apologize for her lack of contact. Now, Shiro must choose whether or not he wants to try again or if he's good and ready to move on.
The Funny Hatter
2021-04-01 21:17:49 +0000 UTCFeel free to share anything you've got! :)
Reinbach
2021-03-28 20:46:48 +0000 UTCXD
Reinbach
2021-03-28 20:46:30 +0000 UTC:D
Reinbach
2021-03-28 20:46:25 +0000 UTCIf he knows what's good for him! XD
Reinbach
2021-03-28 20:46:20 +0000 UTCHey thanks for the detailed feedback! :)
Reinbach
2021-03-28 20:46:05 +0000 UTCFor sure! :)
Reinbach
2021-03-28 20:45:14 +0000 UTCHope you like how it plays out then! :)
Reinbach
2021-03-28 20:44:52 +0000 UTCThanks for the input! :)
Reinbach
2021-03-28 20:44:32 +0000 UTCThanks for the interest! :)
Reinbach
2021-03-28 20:43:55 +0000 UTCI guess I pictured her as the type to kick her clothes out of the way! XD
Reinbach
2021-03-28 20:43:27 +0000 UTCGotcha! :)
Reinbach
2021-03-28 20:42:57 +0000 UTCNoted! :)
Reinbach
2021-03-28 20:42:39 +0000 UTCXD
Reinbach
2021-03-28 20:42:25 +0000 UTCShiro is the chosen one lmaoo
Zenshurai
2021-03-26 23:20:20 +0000 UTCAre you talking about writing them as a couple just for this scene or in general? If in general, I have a recommendation that can serve as possibly enticing, but the result would end up becoming: at best bittersweet, at worst sad.
The Funny Hatter
2021-03-26 21:03:18 +0000 UTCSad we can`t pound her in the game. But I`m Shiro will do us proud.
Lukas West
2021-03-26 10:34:15 +0000 UTCFinally we have been blessed with Ms.Holt being pounded!
Zenshurai
2021-03-26 02:48:19 +0000 UTCWell he finally shut up and put that cock of his where she wanted it, and he better pound the shit out of her.
Bob Fink
2021-03-26 00:16:25 +0000 UTCIt all depends on how you want to write your characters. I usually expect most erotica to follow certain cliche paths; Cutting the banter here, a few pages of sex, followed by (in context of the scenario) her finally opening up to him and him possibly reciprocating assurance or comfort, but that is also dependent on whether you aim to complete a single page arc or if you want to continue it to more chapters. For instance, perhaps he tries to bring it up again after sex, but she withdraws even more. This would open the story for her to grow in a way that she learns to be more open to Shiro about her problems and emotions. But this is all elementary porno speculation. Whatever you write, I’m sure it will be gold. TLDR: You do you bro.
Escafreya
2021-03-25 22:37:49 +0000 UTCHope you don't mind but have to agree with Slaughterbug on this one. Your greatest couplings have always been kinda messy... =) And kinky would be *really* nice...
Alex Barton
2021-03-25 21:55:16 +0000 UTCAnother of my most anticipated scenes happening here! While I think their dialogue has been fun so far, preferably during sex scenes, I like when the two participants focus at the "task at hand". Having said that, as always, hoping for some nice messy fun ahead!
NomadicWanderer
2021-03-25 21:54:14 +0000 UTCThat seems like a good place to stop the banter and get into a few pages of good old fucking. Time to see how passionate they are.... Or kinky, no judgements...
Slaughterbug
2021-03-25 21:41:20 +0000 UTCTo be fair you can work emotional development into their dirty talk if you want to keep building it. Though it does depend on the relationship dynamic. Anyway interested to see them finally have sex too. Though most of my anticipation is for my OC to eventually show up and for Royce to fuck Abby. Lmao that one I'm really hoping happens.
Malcolm Tent
2021-03-25 21:40:10 +0000 UTCAwwww Yeeeeaaah! Get it my caramel queen, get it all!!!!! Personally I think it would have been sexier of her panties were around the ankles.
Jariah Synn
2021-03-25 21:37:17 +0000 UTCI tend write a lot wordier stuff, so I am not really an expert on the constraints of the comic medium. Wherever you think you should cut dialogue is probably where you should.
Licorice Lain
2021-03-25 21:29:14 +0000 UTCMiss Holt FINALLY has someone inside her!! O WONDERFUL DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! With an ass-pose, no less! Though I always want her butt to be even bigger, I'm sure you have your limits, lol. Regarding the banter, it's okay if it stops now. It seems fine in the prelude, but once they actually start having sex, the lovey-dovey stuff and passion should begin :).
ScuzzBucket
2021-03-25 21:29:11 +0000 UTCI'm sure the VP was just reviewing the cheer squad footage, with all the clapping that was going on in her office. And the screaming.
rah
2021-03-25 21:28:08 +0000 UTC
