Isaac's Adventures #011

Isaac told Blobbo about his quest to find a bride, which had now also evolved into a quest to find the boy a mother. But until their journey was complete, they would need a nanny.

As they trekked through the wood, one of Isaac's boots fell apart around his foot. He feared as much would happen. The tattered rags Slizz had provided for him were fine for lounging on a beach, but not enduring prolonged activity. He had no idea what he was supposed to do now.

Even as Isaac pondered the problem, a solution presented itself. Just ahead there was a clearing in the trees, and the two discovered a campsite. The place had long since been abandoned, judging by the leaves and pine needles covering everything. Isaac and Blobbo set to scrounging for supplies. 

A decent sword was too much to hope for it seemed, but Isaac still found far better bounty than he imagined he would: a tunic, pants, and boots all close enough to his size, a water skin, and a leather belt with a small pouch. What befell the previous owner that would cause them to leave behind such treasures Isaac shuddered to think about, and found himself casting wary glances to the trees around him. It was on one such tree that he found a piece of parchment, pinned with a curious-looking dagger. 

"Lamia Nanny Services," Isaac read the parchment aloud. "Best child care in the kingdom, no children devoured or your money back! This is it son! 'Tis truly a fortunate day for our party!"

"Don't you think it's a little TOO lucky pops?" replied Blobbo. "That ad is sketchy as hell, and this whole scene feels whack. We should bug out, you feel me? 

"Oh, my young naive boy," Isaac said, kneeling to place a hand on his son's slimey shoulder. "You know what life is, son? Life is a never-ending full brass symphony of pain and suffering blowing right in your ears for every miserable second you're awake. So on those rare, precious instances where the anguish abates, never, ever question it. Just take it in, and enjoy your good fortune. Because it will not last."

"There is no hope, take good things no matter how suspicious. Got it pops."

"There's a good lad. Now, this says we'll find the Lamia camp if we follow the river, let us be off!"

As they walked along the river bank, Isaac told Blobbo  what to expect when they reached the camp. They were snake women, to put it plainly. Carnivorous indeed but not actively murderous towards men. No, they instead offered various services toward the living in exchange for a contract stating that the tribe could claim ownership of one's body upon death. The contract would cover everything from Lamia service and duration all the way up to what wine one thinks they would best pair with when being eaten. 

Blobbo still had reservations about walking directly into a camp full of man-eaters, but Isaac assured him that they would be perfectly safe. 

So you can imagine how stupid he felt when a Lamia sprung from the trees behind them, brandishing a fork and a meat cleaver. 

"Hello!" she cried. "I'm going to kill and eat you now if that's all right! Please don't struggle or bleed too much!" 

Isaac had to think fast!