Changing in front of an audience.

Photo by La Photographie, fans by Evie Lovelle.

I've been mostly naked in front of audiences since December 2007. We're closing in on 13 years of stripping entertainment. That's quite a haul. (Don't worry, I'm not done yet.)

The pandemic has given me plenty of time to reflect on my changing body. My metabolism has changed in 13 years and I'm close to the finish line on major hormonal shifts.

Early in my burlesque career, I could perform at 11:30pm, head to a midnight breakfast, wake up early and perform (different kind of performance) well at a day job. Last year I significantly reduced my weeknight performances so I could function better at the job that paid the most bills, and I prefer to get to bed before midnight. I also skip out on the late-night eating after shows because I don't want heartburn overnight.

I was a perky C-cup when I started in burlesque, bordering on D. Tight, healthy breasts, even if they were a bit wall-eyed. Over 13 years, they boomed up to an F. As I change my eating habits for mid-life, they've started to slide back to a D. I may land back at a C in the coming months, but I no longer have the dense breast tissue to keep them perky.

People in normal jobs don't necessarily think about perkiness because they aren't going topless. They don't bare it all, or most of it.

I don't know that my future holds implants. I suspect my body would react very badly to them. Given the choice between buying a house and financing some tits, I'm going with house.

I haven't found a gray hair on my head yet, but the smile lines are coming in by my eyes.

The fun part of all of this is that my long-time friends and fans are along for the ride, seeing this showgirl age ridiculously (not gracefully because I'm pretty awkward). 

You may see more net bras on stage in the future, if we get back to stages at some point. I'm going to need something to hold my tits up, and Mr. Snapper doesn't fit into the costumes with me.