Gabriel - Dream

It started with a pinpoint of light. Something small and innocuous in the middle of a vast, rolling sea of abject darkness. No one knew how the light had come to be there. If it was the first. Time had very little meaning and for the light, that meant there was no hurry to grow up. It could lounge in that blissful unawareness of childhood until it grew impatient and forced a change. Eventually, it did begin to expand. Pulsing to become a little bright. Sing a little louder.

When the day came that the light exploded, the Knowing was born.

Born was such a funny word, really. The existence of something that wasn’t there and then suddenly was, a more apt description, but Gabriel had always understood the desire for brevity. He walked upon the little specs of light that formed the walkway through the Knowing, feeling the embrace of such a love wrap around him. Light was warmth, and warmth was unbridled affection. It was done this way so everyone who passed by could feel it. The smile that stretched his face was pushed forward by the profound joy that sang around him.

And yet…

“Hello, brethren.”

Gabriel looked at the form of light that was next to him. A swirling miasmic cloud filled with a soft purple light that flickered with each word. “Hello.” His own voice was blue, coated in lightening and grace.

“Have you returned home to us?” The other asked.

Gabriel glanced around. This was outside the city. He was not yet fully in the Knowing’s embrace but he was close. Closer than he had been in years. And if this was all the Knowing deemed for him, he would gladly take it. For even the small specks of love that the Knowing bestowed upon him were better than nothing at all.

“Not yet,” Gabriel replied. “But I wish to.”

The purple voice swirled around him, swishing in and out of the darkness to become a star one moment before standing next to Gabriel again. Conversations with brethren could take thousands of years, sometimes, as they dealt with their own assigned tasks. 

“Have you killed the Night Market yet?”

Gabriel paused, the music around him turning twisted and bleak. “I have rid the land of those who are false prophets, but to kill the Night Market would be to kill everyone in that realm.”

The light bobbed around him, walking up a never ending path where the city itself never got closer. “That would be a blessing. They could come here. To the Knowing.”

Gabriel frowned. He didn’t think they were all believers. There was a strict rule that coming to live within the Knowing’s love was saved for those who had faith during their life. “We would have to erect more shrines to the Knowing. Spread the word more.” He tipped his head towards his companion. “Is that what I should be doing?”

“It is not my job to interpret the Knowing’s plan.”

“Of course not. I apologize for asking.” Gabriel’s orders were to come directly from the Knowing. Not the soldiers that were off duty for the time being. “Forgive me, brethren, but what is your name? I have not caught it.”

The miasma of light laughed. “Name? Brethren, you have been living among the mortals for far too long. Do not tell me you have let them give you a name.”

Gabriel.

Reese and Elias had given it to him. They were the first to have given him a sense of family. He remembered the way the name sounded, the first time it was uttered. It had helped him belong within the little seaside hut.

“It has been a long time, brethren,” Gabriel said, somewhat ashamed. “I have forgotten that names are nothing more than trappings of our own minds.”

The miasma hummed. “Perhaps you should build a shrine down in the Night Market. It might do you some good.”

Screams rose up from the dark. Wailing shrieks that pierced the night air and caused the world around them to vibrate. Gabriel looked around frantically. “What is that/”

“The lost, brethren. You know this.”

The lost came to the Knowing to plead their case. Plead for an extension of life. Help for a loved one. Help in their own final days. The Knowing heard some of them, but so many came to court daily that most had to be turned away.

“But why are they screaming?”

“Who knows why they scream.” The light came to stop in front of Gabriel, ceasing his aimless walk to the capital. “You are asking a lot of questions. Do be careful, about that. You know what trouble that got you in before.”

A sharp pain when through him and he felt his wings being ripped from his back. Black feathers fell around him in a mimicry of tears as he was pushed out of the cosmos into the cold, dark abyss. Water rushed up around him, filling human orifices he had never had. Everything was cold. Dark. Confusing.

“My apologies,” Gabriel said once more.

The purple light swirled around him. “Perhaps you have not learned what you need to, yet. Perhaps punishment is still your due course.”

“Perhaps.”

“It was good seeing you, brethren.”

“As you.”

Gabriel watched the light flicker away, hoping to a stardust road further along. Gabriel knew he should keep walking, even if it was pointless. It would show the Knowing how dedicated he was. A pointless task sometimes cleared the mind and was an underline of faith. If the Knowing wished for him to walk, then who was he to question why.

…

…

But….

Why?

Why walk with no destination? Why not ask questions? Why follow the orders of someone who let others scream?

Why.

Why?

Why?!

Beneath him, the ground gave way, his wings were torn from him in bloody clumps, and he began to fall once more.

Why?