Make Elbonia OKish But Not Too Much

Later today (well in just over 3hrs, at 12:30BST (GMT-1)) I'll be streaming with Animarchy, Rex’s Hanagar and History of Everything

Today we’re attempting to procure for the armed forces of Elbonia, the best kit that is deeply flawed. If it’s too obviously flawed we’ll get shot by the Generalissimo but if it’s too good the resistance will shoot us. Who’d want to be us!

The letter we got follows

"Dear Comrade General-Generals of the Procurement Staff,

As you know, Comrade Defence Minister Rippov has asked us, the civil servants of Elbonia, to recommend to the Generalissimo Supremo Admiralissimo, Comrade Knockov, the right equipment for the Elbonian Revolutionary Guard. Given their usurpation of our nation’s democratic government, they perhaps do not understand that we only wish to have them removed and go back to the mud farming our parents and their parents and their parents and their parents &etc are so famous for the world over. Funds are somewhat limited so to remain credible all equipment will have to be bought on the open market, meaning that whilst we can go back as far as we think we can source items, realistically nothing more recent than 1990 could be purchased by Elbonia It goes without saying that we must, in so far as is possible, cover our tracks and make our purchase look sensible whilst, in fact, aiming to bring down the state in the first of the inevitable military clashes we are likely to have with our many angry neighbours. Therefore, please recommend the following categories

• General purposes small arms

• Sniper’s rifle

• Artillery (big is always better with the Generalissimo)

• A Tank that we will have to use for everything

• A fighter

• A bomber

• A naval asset (sub or surface)

• A wild card of your choice

I will then take your recommendations to Comrade Rippov who will then take them to the Generalissimo. There is, of course, a catch here. If your choices are so obviously flawed that the Generalissimo spots them, then there will be a purge and then the security forces will abduct you and your family and torture you to death. However, if your choices are too good, then the freedom loving resistance will abduct you and your family and torture you to death. Therefore choose wisely…..

Yours Comrade HardThrasher"