Hey guys.

I would have liked to have written this message to you before but I couldn't, I'm so confused, tired, sad and embarrassed that I couldn't feel able to write something even remotely coherent explaining the whole situation.

I know that what you want is to get what you are paying for and not read anyone's complaints, I agree with that, but on the other hand I feel obligated to be truthful with you and give you satisfaction as to why I am not fulfilling the my obligation is to publish with a reasonable frequency that honors the support you give me.

I'm still trying to understand what's happening but I personally think I'm suffering the consequences of having stretched the rope too much for too long.

Of course it was never easy, I had been feeling very worn out, but I always made an effort and for better or worse the page was progressing.

I talked to some people and they told me that a stressful situation can trigger some type of ADHD or extreme physical and mental fatigue.

Going back in time I remember that I was like this after taking my pet to the vet, there I had a tough discussion at the reception to the point where I was shaking, dizzy and wanted to vomit because I was so nervous. Maybe as I already had no resistance because I was already quite worn out, this could have triggered the symptoms I had afterwards.

I demand a lot from myself and I'm very disappointed in myself that this month I'm not able to honor what I set out to deliver here on the page.

It's desperate to see everything you gave your life to accomplish over the years simply disappearing before your eyes and not having the strength to reverse it.

I'm losing everything, my health, my supporters, my job, my livelihood, my future, dreams, projects, respect, credibility, etc.

I have no right to ask or demand anything from you. You are faithful and wonderful supporters and I am very grateful for all your affection.

To those who can understand and forgive me for this whole situation, I thank you very much and say that this means everything to me.

What I can guarantee is that I love my work, I love and value your support and affection and as long as I have the strength I will continue fighting and trying to understand and learn to get out of this situation.

Thank you all.