I'm doing "science" and I'm still alive

This was how I was planning to start that little RPG demo I made a while back, with a little scene. I tried to make this character as much of a "generic RPG character" as possible, but I really like her... especially when she turns into a puma.

First the News: I'm still alive. I had to go to the hospital and that was scary because I was really worried that I wouldn't survive, but since then I've been getting better... really slowly. >_< The best part of that news is that I haven't been worried constantly about whether I'm going to live through each night, so I've been able to relax a bit. The worst part is that I'm not better yet, and having a heart that's not working so well has been making me tired all the time.

It strangely coincides with an upbeat mood cycle, which is a good thing but also kind of a pain because it means I really want to do lots of stuff! But I only have the energy for about one thing per day between naps and sometimes that one thing is just to eat a meal. But still, I've gotten better since where I was a month ago, so I'm on the right track! I think overall that works out to good news!

Now, speaking of that RPG demo, lots of folks have since told me how much they'd love to see my stuff in a realtime 3D running-around-a-world type RPG. I thought "Yeah, that would be nice, but I can't do that!" Several people have told me to check out one of the free 3D game engines that are out now, and I thought "It took me years to learn how to do what I do well on three pieces of software (Daz3D, Photoshop, and Ren'Py), I can't spend years learning a new game engine!" People have suggested it for a while, and I pretty much just said it was never going to happen.

But I guess confronting my mortality has made me question the status quo a bit, and I've been looking at some tutorial videos and documentation lately. CryEngine sure makes beautiful stuff... but they don't allow porn. Unity3D has tons of help and assets to make games easier, but they don't allow porn either (the EULA was a little vague, but that was how I read it). Unreal Engine seems to be sort of in between the two in terms of ease of use vs. beautiful results (though this guy makes it look easy and beautiful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEa52ONQuR0&t=5m31s ), but their EULA does not specifically forbid making porn. Unreal it is!

So... I'm not sure what I'll be able to do with it, but I'm looking into it. I'm not going to dive into a big project with it at this point, but I'll follow some tutorials in my spare time and see what I'm capable of.

Maybe this is all good news! ^_^''