The Masculine Mutant Man: Wingnut and Screwloose

As it turns out I actually knew these two guys, well, knew of them anyway. When I was a bit younger, there used to be news reports about a mutant bat and mutant mosquito who would dress up as super heroes and try to fight crime. I say 'try' because as I remember it, they usually wound up in the police's way, or accidentally letting the criminals go. Being completely honest, I sort of thought they couldn't possibly be real people, but once they contacted me and sent me their pictures, in full hero attire no less, I realized my mistake.

I asked Wingnut if it would be okay to do the shoot in late October, close to Halloween. I didn't want to be offensive asking, since he's a vampire bat and all. He laughed it off and said it would be a great idea, and his buddy Screwloose agreed. We met near one of the entrances to Central Park just before dusk and I was glad that we had clear skies that night. We talked some about where to take the pictures, and I wondered if a cemetery background was too morbid, or some spooky old trees secluded in the park. Instead the duo told me they knew of the perfect spot.

We went to the remains of a very old church on the far side of the city, a towering black building complete with stone gargoyle accents and crumbling brick. The idea, they explained, was to have me take shots of them with the gargoyle statuary, but I pointed out that it was too high up and even if we could get up there the images wouldn't have a good angle for what I wanted.

"Well what if you was on that other buildin' over there?" Screwloose asked me. He pointed to a rundown warehouse roof across from the old church.

"I suppose so, with my telephoto lens, if I had a way up there." I said, realizing my mistake moments later.

"We gotcha  covered, Fido!" Wingnut announced, as he gripped me under the armpits and began flapping his heavy metal wing extenders. Screwloose grabbed my camera bag and several terrifying seconds later we were on top of the warehouse. 

"I hope you ask me next time before just lifting me off the ground like that..." I said after collecting myself. My heart was racing.

"Sorry!" They both said in unison, but I wondered if they really were.

"So you want us on the statue right?" Wingnut asked me.

"Well yeah but, you guys know this is a nude photo session right?" I asked. Even though the church was abandoned, we were still very much in public, at least for anyone who might be around this mostly empty block.

They waved off my concerns and stripped all the way down eagerly, seeming to enjoy the exhibition of it all. Turns out this was very much the case as they talked about their past and current exploits. Apparently they were both full time thrill-seekers, wherever they could find them. First, after they mutated the same day, they became fast friends, best friends at that. They decided to become 'super heroes' early on just because they could fly. That apparently didn't pan out for them and also didn't pay anything. After that they were bodyguards briefly, circus performers, and later stuntmen. I had to admire their tenacity.

They flew over to the nearest gargoyle about fifty feet away and began posing. I attached my telephoto lens and got to snapping. It was mostly a lot of somewhat awkward cock-grabbing, smirking, gesturing, laughing, and mooning the camera. They reminded me a little of teenagers vying for attention, even though both of them were older than me! It was cute, but I wished I had given them some direction before they just flew over and began er, 'modeling.' Surprisingly I got several usable pictures. Their exuberance came through in nearly every shot, so that made things simpler. 

After about a half hour they seemed to get restless so I waved them back over to my roof. I had been wondering if they were a couple, and asked them about it, but they just burst out laughing at me. Apparently they were just best buds, the kind who did everything together, with no care about nudity or anything else. They just thought that getting naked pictures of themselves would be a fun and exciting way to spend an evening. It was for me at least, getting to photograph two happy-go-lucky dudes, with the unexpected thrill of some personal airlifting!