Double life

If you were to find me now... in the arms of my pokemon I could tell you'd have a few questions... maybe a lot of questions. I'm not sure I'd be able to answer them all... or at least answer them in a way that would make sense because if I'm honest not a lot of it makes sense to me... but it works. Right now I could tell you how much in bliss I am. How worked up I am and yet how calm I find this kind of closeness with my pokemon. Yeah I might look exhausted... but this is the kind of exhaustion that relaxes me. It keeps me going day to day, week to week, etc. 

Even if you were to ask my pokemon you'd find there was no... grooming to lead up to this. No obvious  decision making, no planning of some sort. It just sort of happened and we are content with it because it works for us. Now we live a double life and we couldn't be happier. Don't get me wrong... I know how... incorrect this must feel. I've tried to stop it and end it but it didn't work out so well both in my case and my pokemon. Like us, they have urges that they can't ignore and when both sides have reach a breaking point it becomes almost feral the second you give in. 

When I say double life I mean... the way we behave in closed doors and the way we behave in front of the public is very different.... for.... reasons. You could understand the hysteria if others found out about our lives behind closed doors.

In front of people I am in charge... I'm the trainer after all. I call the shots in pokemon battles, I sum of my strategies and I work them out with my pokemon and he believes in me and trusts me enough to do it. We've won several  battles and trophies and have gotten the opportunity to travel all over the pokemon world thanks to our team effort. I also get asked how is it I have such an obedient pokemon with so very few gym badges? Well with that I'm honest. I say it's a "give and take". It's very vague and I'd like to keep it that way in order to protect both myself and my pokemon... but for you? I can explain this further. 

When I say "give and take" it kind of takes me to my double life... you see just how I'm in control of my pokemon on the outside... when it comes to the inside I just... let go of all that control and he takes over. Ever since I found out how much he loves this it sort of came to a balance. He decides what we should do. Where to go... what to do in our down time... and when he wants me. I don't fight it, I'm actually very contempt in doing so. Letting go of all control and letting him take over... his strength is exhilarating. It drives me wild and seeing my reaction gets him all riled up. Am I sore most of the time? hehe... yeah but I love it. 

So that's what I mean by give and take... I take charge out there... he takes charge in here. It's our secret double life and we wouldn't change it for the world.