Storytime - epic flatulence!

As promised, here’s the story of the most flatulent day of my life, which occurred earlier this week.

One of the strange parts about the severe issues I’ve been going through is that at some point during all the awful, chronic diarrhoea I seemed to stop experiencing gas. You would think it would be the other way around but the worse my condition became the less I burped and farted. It’s been... a really awful and strange few months and I will explain a lot more in the future but for now let me just focus on the fartiest day i’ve ever had.

I’d actually been struggling a lot with gas being stuck since coming out of hospital, and as with a lot of things lately not in a fun way. It just sat there, blowing me up, making my stomach round and hard and painful, and it just wouldn’t come out for anything. It happened mostly if I dared to not eat for a while. Seriously, I don’t know if it’s from the side effects of the steroids or because my body is so desperate to put the weight back on but I’m getting extreme hunger pangs if I don’t eat every half hour or so, my belly starts roaring with hunger noises like I’ve never heard before and I get hit with horrible pains in the gut, and if I don’t eat ASAP my stomach fills with wind instead and it just won’t leave!

I’ve tried all sorts of things to help; medication, lots of rubbing, moving, hot water bottles, all sorts but when it gets stuck it just doesn’t go anywhere’s. And then, for some reason on Monday, it wouldn’t STOP coming out!

So for some reason and I don’t have a clue what, something changed and my belly decided that it was just gonna keep making gas but that it was going to leave by the rear exit every few minutes. I’ve honestly never had a day like it, never in my life. I woke up farting and it didn’t stop all day. It’s hard to express exactly how bad the gas was, considering you all think I’m a gassy monster anyway and you’ve seen how much I fart just regularly. Well that day put all those years of farting to shame. Every few minutes I’d feel air moving through my stomach and before I could do anything it would burst out of me uncontrollably, I didn’t need to help it or push or anything, it was just flying out, loud and bubbly and really damn obviously, there was no way of hiding it! Usually my gas doesn’t smell but some of these stank pretty badly too. My stomach was making the most horrendous gurgling noises with the constant flow of gas inside of me and every time I moved at all more air would emerge from my backside!

Through the morning and afternoon I would fart maybe every five minutes or so but by the evening I was lucky if I went 2 minutes without letting one go, and they were longer each time by that point too - Luce was teasing me like crazy and I was hiding my face but there was no getting away from the fact that i’d literally spent the whole day farting like crazy! At least I wasn’t in pain from gas all day, that was something I could be thankful for. The next day I was still pretty farty but the rate had slowed to maybe once every 5-10 minutes which was at least a little less embarrassing!

I’m generally farting quite a lot still but nowhere near that much. I guess right now I’m farting a lot less often but letting out more in one go when I do? I have a long way to go to heal and recover from this and certainly the steroids may be adding the the gassiness from what I’ve read so I will probably have more gassy stories to tell in the coming weeks, but I thought some of you might be interested in exactly how insane my gas was that day! I was still feeling too weak to do much but lay in bed at the time but if I get another day of constant gas attacks I’ll try to record some sounds to share with you all.

Thank you so much for your support during this horrible time, and thank you for understanding that a lot of this isn’t fun for me right now. I am happy if you enjoy at least some of it, maybe that makes it more worthwhile than just being sick, so let me know if you enjoyed hearing about this and if so I’ll share more stories about the things my suffering gut is going through while I try to get back on track.

(I have to say right now my gut is making the happiest digesting noises I’ve heard in years, I’ve eaten a big pile of pasta which I can really feel moving about inside me as my tummy attacks it and literally every time I eat I feel the pounds piling back on. It was HORRIBLE losing all that weight and every pound I gain back is like a victory!)