Press your luck chapter 2

Harlow woke up the next morning with Valerie shaking him awake. She wore a short pink cami top and matching pink pajama shorts with small hearts on them. “Hey, we need to make breakfast.”

“Hmm…not hungry.” Harlow rolled over and snuggled his pillow.

Valerie flicked Harlow’s ear and the feminine man snapped his head at her angrily, “We’re making breakfast. You’re going to make something for Danny like a good girlfriend. Remember?” She was referring to a conversation she heard Harlow having with Danny years ago where he said any girlfriend who doesn’t at least make him breakfast is not one worth keeping around.

Harlow was confused, and didn’t remember telling her about the deal he and Danny made…but was too tired to argue or care. “Fine. Let me pee.” Harlow sat up and stretched before walking to the bathroom.

Harlow stopped in the mirror, noticing his new chest. Feeling the weight of his fake breasts upon his chest. He didn't get a chance to inspect them yesterday with all that happened. He first made sure the door was locked before he gave the fake boob a curious squeeze. He could feel the fake flesh pulling against his own flat chest, and the breast in his hand felt almost real, now that it had the night to warm to his body heat, but touching it alone he felt no sensation. Disappointed, Harlow sat up out of bed. He didn’t want boobs, but if he had them then he would at least like to enjoy them. Chicks like Valerie were lucky, they got to play with boobs all the time. He even knew that some women who would let their female friends grope their breasts for fun. It’s what lead his belief that all women were at least bisexual. You’d never catch two straight guys just groping each other’s dong just for a laugh. Stepping into the bathroom he lifted the lid and slowly released his bladder. Immediately he felt the wetness spreading down the back of his leg. “Shit!” He swore and immediately sat on the toilet. His penis was still glued behind him, making it impossible to relieve himself without sitting. As he left he ran into Valerie who’s standing by the door with a disappointed look on her face. “What were you just doing?”

“...peeing. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“No, it couldn’t have been because it sounded like you tried to pee standing up, that would certainly be weird. Since you’re a girl.”

Harlow sighed, “Really?”

“You need to sit like a girl. I mean, we saw that guy hanging out by the bathroom window last time, what if he’s there again and sees you standing to pee? Wouldn’t that make him more suspicious?”

“....I guess. I couldn’t anyway cause this damn glue.”

“Obviously. Just try to think more.” Harlow rolled his eyes, ‘as if she’s one to talk’. “Come on, let's get breakfast.”

“Can’t I change first?”

“We don’t wanna wake your boyfriend yet. He has to work tod-.”

“What?”

“Back up.” She pushed Harlow backwards into the light of the bathroom and noticed the stain on his crotch for the first time. “Are you sure all you did was pee?”

“Yes?” He looked to where Valerie was looking, turning towards the mirror to get a clearer view,  not only were his shorts stained with dried cum he was completely hard, “What the…I didn’t…um.”

“It’s fine if you did, it’s yours after all but you should clean yourself up afterwards.”

“I didn’t…” He blushed. He of course did not, but he did have a dream where he was in the middle of a slumber party with the cheer squad from high school including Valerie. He didn’t think they did anything more than a pillow fight and kissing but…it also had been two months since he got laid. His last date ended like all of them before, a hug at the end of the night and him going home with blue balls. Of course the worst of the dates had slapped him, which even though he wouldn’t agree he did deserve for trying to convince his date to have a threesome with him and the waitress. The date was going really well up until that point. Unfortunately he didn’t have enough money to hire an escort. Escorts, Harlow felt, were more honest than most women since they didn’t pretend the man wasn’t paying for sex just in a different form, either a dinner or some other costly activity. "All you did was pee? Or did you and your boyfriend have fun last night? It is okay if you did...wait I don't want to know." She paused, actually curious. "Was it you or him?"

Harlow walked into the kitchen and poured a glass of orange juice and two bowls of cereal then placed one in an empty seat and the other in front of himself. Valreie glared at Harlow as he slurped his cereal. “Really?”

“What? It’s breakfast.”

“Whatever. Since it’s already poured, sure, but tomorrow we’re making pancakes.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re Danny’s girlfriend and no way would I let him date a girl that would only fix him cereal for breakfast.”

“Whatever.” Harlow quickly finished his cereal. When he had finished he saw Danny walking into the dining room. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Danny said awkwardly.

“I made you breakfast.” He pointed to the now soggy bowl of cereal.

“Thanks?” Danny picked up the bowl, examined it, before ultimately pouring it down the sink. “H-hey uh…Lucy?” Harlow groaned, “Should we talk about last night?”

Harlow froze in his seat, “Uh sure. About…that…it’s…”

While Harlow searched for the words Danny cut in, “I’m sorry.”

“W-You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

“I don’t?”

“Of course not. It happens.

“You’re not mad at me?”

“Why would I be? Besides, everyone needs to blow off some steam every once in a while.”

“I-” Danny started but Harlow stood.

“Since you’re up I’m gonna go get dressed…in something less stained.” Harlow swiftly walked out of the dining room.

“Uh okay.” If Harlow didn’t care he certainly wasn’t going to push things.

Harlow hurried into the shower and stripped off his girly clothes, he absolutely did not want to talk to Danny about having a wet dream, it was bad enough he had either seen or heard him last night having the dream.

Washing his chest was very distracting for him, it brought back memories of sex in the shower with one particularly pretty escort. ‘Her name was…Candy,I think.’ He didn’t really recall her name as memorable. Not like her fiery red hair. She even had a personality to match, which made the sex all the more fun! Feeling his member stiffen, Harlow considered taking care of himself so he didn’t have another wet dream but ultimately thought it was too strange with his new view. And he could sneak off in a week or two when all of this had blown over.

Wrapping a towel around his waist he walked out of the bathroom when he heard Danny shout, “Dude!” Danny had been going to his room to get ready for work when he saw his friend coming out of the bathroom with his new tits on full display. Instinctively he spun around and covered his eyes.

Valerie hurried around the corner having heard the shouting and almost burst out laughing, “What’s going on?” Harlow had instinctively covered his chest with his arms, with his newly long hair dripping over his shoulder he looked as near to a girl as he could without makeup.

“Harlow’s…you know.”

“Lucy.” She corrected as she approached the confused Harlow. “Lucy, you know you can’t walk around with those on display. That’s not what good girls do.” She pulled the towel up and wrapped it around his chest.

“It’s not like they’re real.”

“Still, it’s like the peeing thing, if a normal girl wouldn’t do it then you can’t either. At least not until we’re sure it’s safe. Okay? Plus you know how easily flustered Danny is.”

“I am not!”

“Fine.” Harlow shook his head. The time he took Danny to a strip club he thought his giant friend would have a heart attack seeing all the naked dancing flesh. “I’m gonna get dressed.”

“Thank you.” Danny waved behind him without looking.

“I’ll help you.”

“I know how to dress myself.”

“Not like a girl you don’t.”

“...fine.”

The two went into Danny’s room and immediately Valerie took control of the situation grabbing several different tops and skirts. “Isn’t there any pants?”

“No way. Harlow wears pants.”

“So do a lot of girls.”

“Yes, but Harlow wouldn’t be caught dead in a cute skirt and a halter top, right?”

“Right.”

“So obviously Lucy would because she is so different from Harlow no one would ever guess she was actually Harlow in disguise, right?”

“I…I guess that makes sense but I still think I could do that in pants.”

“Well, I didn’t get you any pants. Next time we go shopping we can look at them, okay?”

“Okay.” ‘This is why you don’t let an airhead do your planning.’ He thought as he leaned against the wall wincing in pain.

“Is your foot still hurting you?” Valerie asked when she saw the pained look on his face.

“A little, but I’ll be fine.”

“...come on, I think we got a nice outfit for today so now we need to do your makeup.”

“Makeup?!”

“Well duh.” Was her only response as she pulled the still injured Harlow into her room, “It’s all yours Danny boy!” She shouted as they left.

“Thank you!” He called from the living room.

In the master bedroom Harlow was handed a pair of white panties with pastel colored puppies playing with similarly colored cats. “Seriously?”

“Don’t worry, they’re clean.”

“Wasn’t really my concern. Don’t you have anything less…girly?”

“Why? You’re a girl right, Lucy?” She added extra emphasis to his new name to drive home exactly who he was supposed to be.

“...I guess.”

“You guess? You’re not sure if you’re a girl?”

“Wh-I mean. I am.”

“Am what?”

‘Is she for real?’ “I’m a girl.”

“What’s your name again?”

“Lucy.”

“You’re a boy named Lucy?”

“No, are you mess-I’m a girl.” He gritted his teeth hating every moment he had to rely on her.

“Okay, see that’s what I thought. Aren’t you going to dress? Or do you like sticky panties?”

“I’m just waiting on you to leave.”

“Why? We’re both girls here, right?”

“I mean, technically…nevermind. I’ll leave.” Harlow attempted to move to the door but was quickly blocked off by Valerie. “Come on, man!”

“If I let you go you’ll sneak off to have more fun time with your boyfriend. And we don’t have time for that today.”

“I wasn’t gonna…fine, I’ll go to the bathroom.” Valerie stood still in front of Harlow, positioned not only between him and the door but also due to him being flanked by a wall and her large queen sized bed he was effectively blocked off. “What’s your deal?”

“Hmm, oh sorry.” She lied as she allowed her eyes to return from a glazed over distant stare, “I was thinking about something.”

“I thought I smelled something burning.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing. If you’re done can I get changed now?”

“Not yet, you like to gamble right?”

“...Yeah?”

“Wanna have a bet? I got this hundred piece puzzle that's, like, really hard."

"Are you telling me you couldn't complete a hundred piece puzzle?"

She was at least slightly happy to see that he didn't consider her that dumb, judging by the sound of disbelief in his voice, "Oh, no. I finished it. But it's, like, timed so you have to do it in so many minutes."

“Pfft, why would I take such a stupid bet?” What kind of stupid bet was that?

“I thought it might be fun since you can’t go to the casinos any time soon.”

“Okay, so for a bet to actually be enticing you’d have to wager something I wanted.”

“What’s entice mean?” She stretched the word out as if she was not used to such a big word before. On anyone else it would be obvious she was playing him, but the sleepy Harlow didn’t think much of the buxom woman in front of him.

“Basically something that would make me want to take this bet. Which you don’t have.”

“Okay…what do you want to bet?”

“...if I win I get to have sex with you.”

“Hmm,” Valerie covered her mouth to cover the fact that the image of the two of them together caused her to gag on reflex. Harlow wasn’t an ugly man on the outside she could admit that, and with what little adjustments had been made so far he was kind of cute…but inside he was disgusting as they came, “That does sound fun,” she lied, “But, like, I think we should save that one for a bigger bet, don’t you?” She pretended to think for a minute, “How about I’ll take my top off?”

“How about a blow job?”

“..I will let you see me topless…and no bra.”

“Hand job?”

“You can touch my boob.”

Harlow thought for a moment, and studied her face. He turned the idea over in his head, it wouldn’t be sex but…if she were willing to gamble her body, and it seemed to him like she had no qualms about doing so, he could possibly up the ante. “A boob job, for ten minutes.”

“Five.”

“Seven.”

“Four.”

“...Six.” He wasn’t proud of it but with how long he had gone without and his apparent hair trigger last night he could possibly finish with time to spare between her massive breasts.

Valerie pretended to think about his counteroffer, purposefully biting her lip and not so subtly glancing at his crotch. If she were meant to play the sexually charged bimbo then she had no problem doing so for now, knowing he had no way to win this first bet. “Five?”

“Deal.” Harlow smiled and started for the bathroom door before she grabbed his hand.

“Wait…”

“What now?”

“What do I get if I win?”

“...Twenty dollars?”

“...Do you have any cash on you?”

“Right…I can owe ya?”

She cocked her head to the side and gave him a genuine look of annoyed disbelief, “...Don’t you owe enough people?”

“Fair enough, what do you want then?”

“Well, since you, like, totally have no money, I was thinking if I win then you have to do whatever I say, not only with a smile, but be like enthusiatic about it!”

“Enthusiastic.”

“That’s what I said.”

Harlow shook his head, “Fine…whatever you say though, sounds risky…I’ll agree to your terms, but only if you also have an enthusiastic smile on your face while you watch me play with your fun bags.”

Instead of throwing up she pretended to giggle, “Deal!” She held out her hand and they both shook on the bet.

“Before we get started, you’re not gonna try to interrupt me or anything?”

“Nope.”

“....good.”

"So go get changed into your cute panties and your cute outfit and I'll go set up the puzzle."

"Fine." he groaned as she bounced out of the room. Her being an idiot he almost felt bad for taking advantage of her stupidity…almost.

After a few minutes Harlow stood in the disagreeable underwear and the too short skirt, staring at himself in the mirror. 'Ugh…how'd I let myself get into this mess?' he thought, groping his fake chest with one hand while using his left to grip the countertop taking weight off his foot. The panties felt so thin compared to his boxers and briefs he wore not too long ago. His ass in the cute underwear was nothing to brag about, not that he wanted to brag about it, but his mind couldn't help but draw the comparison between his pantied backside and that of the dancers at the strip club he frequented. The man shook his head and gripped the sides of his chest and pulled as hard as he could.

The false breasts pulled and stretched at his skin as Harlow growled in pain. Until he finally stopped. Pulling at the fake chest felt like ripping his own skin off. He had no choice, he would have to wait until he got the solvent to get rid of these things. Valerie suddenly opened the door. Harlow jumped, pulling his arms around the stomach his halter top left completely exposed, "Come on girl, quit staring at your butt. We got things to do."

"I wasn't!" Harlow protested as he was dragged into the living room,"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Harlow limped to the recliner practically throwing himself in the chair.

“Your foot hurts that bad?”

“Yeah. But I’ll be fine. Where’s the puzzle?”

“Let’s deal with that in a minute.” Harlow’s ankle hurt too much to argue with Valerie’s soft tone. And she was already out of the room anyway. ‘No point now.’ He thought, putting his foot on an ottoman. About a minute later she returned with several pairs of heels.

“No, not again.”

“It helped yesterday. Come on, these are shorter.” Harlow frowned but relented, she did sound like she was actually trying to help. Which she was, he didn’t need any extra excuses to have someone wait on him and if he couldn’t walk then most of her plans to torture him would be impossible to do. “How’s this one?” He stood in the pink two inch pumps for a moment before his ankle gave out with a painful pop. “Nope.” She removed the pumps, trading them out for a pair of black and red open toe stilettos. “Okay, so if you can’t wear the pumps then how about these.” He groaned in frustration but stood. The stilettos were an inch taller than the wedges, giving him an extra four inches, adjusting to the differences in even the slight height change took a moment. For the first time in twenty-four hours all the pain in his ankle disappeared. “Perfect!” She cheered.

“No!” He snapped back.

“Why not? Like, you even made a happy face.”

“They’re too..girly.”

“How many times do I have to remind you? You are a girl, Lucy.”

Harlow sighed, “Look, just…let’s figure shoes out later, okay?”

“Fine.” Valerie lightly pushed Harlow causing him to fall back in the chair. Valerie carefully pulled off the heels, “But you really should get your foot looked at before it does any permanent damage.”

“Aah, I’ll be fine. I heal quick. Always have. Besides, I don’t really do doctors…unless they take bribes.” Valerie gave him an odd, questioning, look. “Straight doctors ask too many questions and always want insurance. Hey, I know a guy that can hook you up with something at cost if you got the cash. I’ll even waive most of my finder’s fee. Friend’s discount.”

Standing up after placing his foot in the three inch wedge she continued, "Okay so, like, remember the puzzle is timed. It's supposed to measure how smart someone is."

"So how much time do I get?"

"As much as you need."

"... okay, how much is genius?"

"Oh. I think it said five minutes?" She lied.

"Cool. I'll have it done I'm two minutes."

"Do you need anything before you start? A drink? Music?"

"Nah, I'll be fine. I won't be here long enough for it to matter."

Valerie brought a cooking timer from the kitchen and twisted the dial until it read five minutes. "Okay. Well I'll be in the living room if you need help or anything."

"Pfft."

Valerie smiled at the cocky man, "Aaaand go!" She released the timer and left it in front of Harlow and the puzzle pieces on the table.

The average time to complete a hundred piece puzzle was twenty minutes for someone attempting to complete it under relaxed conditions. Between ten and fifteen minutes was the average for someone who knew they were being timed. Of course puzzle completion wasn't a measure of one's intelligence but that wasn't what the test was for her professor had explained. It was simply to determine pattern recognition and problem solving under stressful environments. Valerie sat in the recliner, a notepad hidden behind a fashion magazine while the timer loudly ticked in the background.

Valerie smiled as the fourth minute passed and Harlow still hadn't finished. When Danny walked out into the living room carrying his boots he slowly stopped when he saw Harlow staring at several clumps of partially completed puzzle pieces. "Hey?"

"Nnn!" Harlow waved Danny away.

"What's going on?" Danny whispered to Valerie who casually flipped through her magazine.

"Your girlfriend is helping me with my homework."

Danny rolled his eyes and sat down when the timer suddenly rang.

"Son of a bitch!" Harlow yelled, slamming his fists against the table.

"What's wrong?" Valerie asked, setting her magazine and hidden notepad aside as she stood up. "Were you almost finished?" Valerie asked knowing very well he wasn't close to finishing.

"N-I mean yeah almost but…then Danny distracted me."

"Me?!"

"You did interrupt Lucy in the middle I think."

Danny looked between his sister and his friend and pretend girlfriend, what was the point in arguing anyway? "Whatever." He shook his head and went back to putting on his boots.

Valerie frowned and turned to Harlow, "Well, I guess you lose, Lucy."

"Come on! I was almost finished!" He wasn't. "What about double or nothin?"

She thought for a moment as she watched Danny walk into the kitchen and fix himself a sandwich for lunch. His foul mood radiating off of him in waves. He was a good guy even if he was dumb enough to be taken in by such a shady character, "Okay but first you, like, need to apologize to Danny."

"Fine." He watched the kitchen door rock gently back and forth. "I'll apologize when he gets home." He of course had no intention of apologizing. He knew Danny didn't really care.

"No, you gotta go now and apologize like you're his girlfriend."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Kiss him, duh!"

"I'm not gonna kiss him!"

"You're his girlfriend, it'd be weird if you didn't."

"Look not every-"

Valerie cut him off when she heard the engine choke to life in his old truck. "Better hurry or you forfeit both bets?!"

"Fine!" He kicked the chair out behind him and hurried on his wedge heels and hurried to the driveway where he waved Danny down.

"What?" He asked with obvious annoyance when Lucy walked up to his driver side window.

"I…I have to apologize for earlier."

"Have to? What?"

"Nothing…I'm sorry I blamed you."

"Oh…it's ok." Danny's anger shrank slowly, Harlow always blamed him for stuff and it always annoyed him…but what was he supposed to do? Complain? That's not what guys did.

"I know…but I'm sorry anyway."

"Well thanks." Danny smiled down at his friend. Harlow glanced to the front door and surely enough Valerie stood there watching and waiting for him to not hold up his end of the bet.

"C-come here." He said softly. Danny leaned in closer, expecting his friend to whisper something to him. So when Harlow/Lucy kissed him softly on the cheek it shocked him.

"W-what was that for?"

"Just have a good day." Taking his cue from Harlow, Danny kissed Lucy passionately on the lips. He didn't see anyone but his friend must have otherwise he wouldn't be putting on the girlfriend act like this. It was weird kissing his friend, especially as his friend moaned into him, but he would rather that than risk any of their lives. Harlow protested but his angry shouts only sounded like moans of pleasure until he finally tore his lips away from his friend. "What the hell was that?!" He whispered angrily, hoping not to draw any more attention to him than he had already.

"I thought…because of those guys?"

"Wh-" Harlow stopped and looked over his shoulder, had Danny seen someone passing by or watching that he hadn't?! "Just…warn a girl next time." He forced a smile and a giggle to his voice before he walked back up the driveway.

Inside Valerie was rolling on the floor laughing; she hadn't really expected Harlow to even kiss Danny on the cheek, but was glad to see he at least believed in honoring his bets, but when Danny full on french kissed him she lost it. She had always teased Danny for how close he was to his friend, so much so that even their mom had called Harlow "Danny's boyfriend".

Seeing the humiliated Harlow walking to the door Valerie quickly forced her laughter down and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Did Danny get off okay?" She was barely able to suppress a giggle as she asked.

"He's fine."

"Did you kiss him?"

"Weren't you watching?"

A laugh escaped Valerie before she could stop it, thinking quickly she went into her act, "Danny and Lucy sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-Ing." If she couldn't help but laugh like an idiot she was at least able to use that to further cement his erroneous view of her.

"What are you five?!"

"It's cute how much you love your boyfriend."

"I do not!"

"Hey, remember, you're supposed to be Danny's smiling girlfriend."

"I smiled when I said goodbye."

"Yeah but we never know when people are watching us right? And heck these guys could just ask the neighbors if Danny's girlfriend acts like his girlfriend or a guy."

"And me smiling is supposed to fix that?" He scoffed.

"Not just smiling but…when girls talk about someone we love we get this silly grin on our faces." She paused for a moment and let a smile slowly spread across her face and into her eyes. "See?"

Harlow forced an obviously fake smile to his face. "Happy?"

"...how did you play poker with a poker face like that?"

"I am great at poker!"

"Prove it." She dared.

Growling Harlow planted his heeled foot and tightened his face before letting it slack. A smile forced its way onto Harlow’s face as his eyes shifted to a more far away look. “I totally, like, like Danny!” He waited half a second before letting the false smile fall. “See.”

“...oh boy. We need to do some work.”

“What? That was exactly what you did!”

“I mean…kind of, but hey we can work on that today. You’re supposed to be smiling and happy anyway.” Harlow scoffed and shook his head, “So hey, let’s go to the mall and we can practice.”

“...Why the mall?”

“What better place to, like, watch other girls in action?”

“Oh…I guess that’s true. They do love shopping.”

“We love shopping.” Valerie giggled, thinking she should enter poker tournaments with a poker face as good as hers.

Later Valerie and the girlified Harlow turned Lucy stepped out of the car, a pair of stilettos wrapped around their feet. “I can’t believe you talked me into this.” He grumbled pulling the skirt down as far as he could before it exposed more of his stomach.

“I know those looked super cute on you but we, like, had to change them. They totally didn’t go with your outfit anymore. They’re fine for wearing around the house if you wanna just relax.”

“They’re no-” Harlow stumbled but caught himself against the side of another car. “I hate these things!” he yelled in an incredibly manly tone. Stilettos were not the same as wedges, wedges were a beginner shoe for girls and certain boys who wanted to practice wearing heels.

“Hey now! Remember your voice.”

Harlow cut his eyes to Valerie as he regained his balance, “I hate these things!” His voice sounded like a poor impression of Marlyn Monroe, light and breathy.

“Better, but remember you gotta smile.”

Harlow wanted to snap at her again, but remembered he was unfortunately stuck with the idiot until he could find a better solution. He briefly forced a smile to his face before losing it when a shiver ran up his now bare legs. “Oh my god it’s so cold! It feels like I’m chewing on a spearmint gum but with my thighs!” He yelled, attempting to huddle between two cars, falling flat on his butt as his weight shifted on the thin heel.

“It’s cause we got rid of all that nasty hair. You’ll get used to it.” Harlow shivered angrily, ‘it can’t be this cold!’ He looked up and saw Valerie’s offered hand. “You’ll be a lot warmer inside.” Instead of slapping it away like he wanted he gripped it tight and pulled himself up with her help and the help of the passenger side mirror.

As they walked into the mall Valerie smiled at Lucy to remind him how he was expected to smile, though hers was much more genuine than Lucy’s as she thought back to his morning lessons. "Hey! Slow down." He calls out to Valerie, wrapping his arm around hers when she caught up.

Harlow had refused at first of course, “You lost the bet, remember?” She reminded him.

“I thought we were gonna do double or nothing?”

“If you’re acting this way now how can I trust you’ll keep your promise if you lose again?”

“I don’t renege on my bets.”

“...Isn’t that why you’re here?”

Harlow paused for a moment, he prided himself on always not backing down on the occasion he did lose a bet, “No. I’m here because I borrowed money to pay back my losses. I just….had a cash flow issue before I could pay them back.”

“....okay. But, like, if you’ll honor your bet today then we can do double or nothing tonight, okay?”

Harlow sighed, “Fair enough.”

“Good. So let’s get started with your voice. Say something”

“Like what?”

“No, in your girl voice.”

“Oh…I really hate heels.” Harlow’s voice cracked as he tried to force himself to speak in a higher register.

“Okay, good.” Harlow smiled, “Now I know what we need to work on.” His prideful smile came crashing down around him. “First, just talking higher isn’t going to cut it.”

“Girls have a higher voice.”

“Yes we do but not like that…I have an idea.” She took out her phone, immediately connecting it to the flat screen hanging on the wall. “Try to sound like her.” A clip of a young Marilyn Monroe appeared on the screen.

“You and your imagination! You think every girl's a dope. You think a girl goes to a party and there's some guy, a great big lunk in a fancy striped vest, strutting around like a tiger giving you that I'm-so-handsome-you-can't-resist-me look.”

“Really?”

“Give it a try. Just copy her a few times. I’m gonna grab a few things.” She said as she left the room before calling back, “And don’t forget to smile!”

“Whatever.” He forced a smile once again and sat on the couch, grateful for taking pressure off of his ankle, “Who wouldn’t want to meet a man who is a millionaire, and not even bald?” Harlow sighed. His voice still squeaked and cracked. He didn’t care so much that his voice was imperfect, or not even close, but the constant losses were frustrating him much more than he cared to admit. He wanted at least one win! Even if it was at something stupid as a stupid puzzle or even this voice game she had him doing. “Don’t you know that a man being rich is like a girl being pretty?” Harlow’s pitch lowered slightly, still sounding nasally but closer to breathy than before. “You wouldn’t marry a girl just because she’s pretty, but my goodness, doesn’t it help?”

“She’s got a point, dontcha think?” Valerie asked as she walked back in the living room, carrying a small bottle of nail polish.

“I guess.”

“Ah,ah,ah, remember…happy.”

Harlow smiled, “I guess she does.” he spoke in a breathy exaggerated voice.

“That’s much better.” she smiled sitting in front of him on the ottoman.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting you ready to go out.” She reached down and picked up his leg only for him to pull it back. “Hey, you said you weren’t gonna back out of the bet.” Harlow sighed and gave her back his leg. “Thank you, Lucy.” He grunted in response. “So why don’t you tell me something about yourself.”

“What? We’ve known each-”

“No, You’ve only been dating Danny a short time, I don’t know much at all about his girlfriend Lucy.”

Harlow sighed, “Fine. Like where I went to school?”

“Sure, it’d probably be easier to remember if some of it was true. Like, for instance Harlow dropped out of school at sixteen.”

“I prefer to think of it as an early graduation present.”

“...Okay. But see that’s Harlow. So say, you dropped out of school around the same time but…because you were kept failing classes.”

“What?”

“Unless you want to have tried to…persuade a few teachers?”

“Pers-you mean sleep with the teacher?”

“Yeah. Pretty girls like us aren’t smart, right?” She reminded herself she had to keep the venom out of her voice. She knew what he thought of her and it took everything in her to not be outwardly hostile. Not yet.

“I guess you’re right. Okay, so Lucy dropped out of school cause she’s an airhead. What else?”

“I don’t know, like, you tell me. But don’t say Lucy, say I, okay?”

“Okay…so I guess…I didn’t go to college. Uh…”

“Voice.” She reminded as she started to paint his big toe. “Remember, practice makes perfect.”

“Fine.” He said, forcing more breath in his words than usual. “I didn’t go to college…uh…I was a boy sc-”

“Girl scout.”

“Right, I was a…girl scout. Uh…”

Valerie rolled her eyes as she painted the third nail, he was clearly unfocused and just didn’t care enough to commit to the bit as far as she was concerned, “How about this, how did you and Danny meet?”

“In school?”

“Okay. How?”

“Uh…well we met in math class.”

“No, Danny met Harlow in math class. Lucy would’ve skipped.”

“Okay so…the cafeteria?”

“Eh, it’s fine I guess…but…what if you were a cheerleader?”

“What?”

“Yeah! Pretty and stacked girl like you would’ve been first pick. Oh! And Danny was on the football team, remember?!”

“Yeah?”

“So you guys met, and like, it was like a bolt of lightning, you guys had the hots for each other and immediately you two start going at it like two cats in heat!”

Harlow cringed at the imagery she provided, “Eh, I don’t know.”

“No? Then how did it happen?”

“...I don’t know. He asked me out and I said yes and here we are.”

“...that’s it?”

“It’s basically the same thing without all the fluff.”

“That ‘fluff’ is every girl’s favorite story to tell people when we’re in a relationship.”

“So?”

“So anyone who asks you will think it’s odd you don’t seem to gush over it or even care when you tell the story.”

Harlow shook his head, “Okay. Gimme a minute.” He thought for a moment, scouring his brain for every cheesy romcom a date had forced him to watch just to get into her pants. “I got one. Danny and I met in the hallway when he knocked me down, cause he’s so big, and to apologize he jokingly offered to buy me dinner and I actually agreed cause he’s just so…cute.” He shivered at having to call Danny cute but did manage to keep his fake smile plastered to his face.

“That’s…better, I guess. But, how did you feel when you first saw Danny?”

“I thought he was a giant.” Harlow laughed. Judging by Valerie’s stern expression, that was not the right answer, “I…thought he was…handsome?”

“Okay, how did that make you feel though?”

“I just said.”

“No…you said he was handsome, how did it make you, Lucy, feel to see a tall handsome man.”

“Oh…I was horny?”

“...give me your other foot.” She sighed, taking his other foot. She knew he was an idiot and thought very little of women but did he seriously think that was the only emotion girls felt when they saw a cute guy? “Try this; When you first saw him you felt like your tummy was doing backflips. When he asked you out…you laughed at first, not because you thought it was stupid or anything but you were so nervous you couldn’t help but to giggle. You saw how sad it made him so you said yes before you even knew it, cause you didn’t want to see him so sad.  And, how about instead of high school you met on the strip?”

“Why the strip?”

“Because, that way if you’re, like, awkward around each other one minute then gushing and all romantic, it’ll be because you’re still in that honeymoon phase. And people around here might question why you hadn’t been around before now.”

“So instead, I’ve just started staying over?”

“Yeah.”

“...Sounds good.”

“So, Lucy, how did you and my brother meet?” She asked with a chipper tone as she finished painting his other big toe.

“Oh, it was the cutest story,” He smiled, “I was on the strip one night to go to the Sahara-”

“No. Harlow gambles. Lucy would never.”

“What was I doing on the strip then?”

“There’s other things to do besides gamble. So, again, how did you meet Danny, Lucy?” She smiled.

Forcing another smile to his face he exaggeratedly clasped his hands together “Oh it was just the cutest story! I was on the strip one night to…actually meet this guy on another date?”  He paused and waited for approval.

“You asking or telling?”

“Yeah, like, I had a date with this other guy but then this big mountain of a man bumped into and I fell into one of those fountains and I got soaked.”

“Oh no!”

“But it’s okay, cause he offered to pay for dry cleaning and even offered to pay for dinner. I didn’t answer at first cause I was just…stunned, cause he is just so…handsome, my tummy did backflips and I didn’t hear a word he said. Unfortunately I laughed and then his face dropped and I realized what he had asked so I hurried up and told him ‘Yes! I’d love to go out with you!’ And…here we are.”

“That is adorable!”

“Yeah?”

“The way you tell it could use some work but it sounds like a great meet cute.” During the telling she had finished two more toes and had started on the last pinky toe. Harlow felt himself actually smile for the first time that morning. “So, while we’re shopping why don’t you think of more things you and Danny have done as a couple and you can tell me about them.”

“Okay.”

“What do you think?” She asked before blowing on his toes. The cold wind tickled his sensitive feet making him chuckle softly.

“I…they’re good I guess.” They appeared, to Harlow, to be the same shade of blue they were painted the night before, just shinier.

Valerie pouted, “You know, your voice is…better, but the main thing is the words you use.”

“What about em?”

“Girls…we talk different. Don’t say I guess if you like something.”

“Okay, I like them-” he had to stop himself from adding in ‘I guess’ once again. He didn’t actually care, having his toes painted was strangely comforting but he didn’t care about the color. And since they would soon be hidden under the closed toe of the wedge sandals he would be wearing.

“Better, but…we don’t usually say ‘I like this’ or ‘that’. We ‘LOVE IT!’” She shouted the word love so suddenly it made Harlow jump.

“Okay…I loooove my toes?”

“Better. Okay, I think we’re ready to go.”

“Great.” Harlow sighed, picking up the wedges off of the floor.

“What are you doing?”

“Putting shoes on?”

“You can’t do that. You’ll ruin my work.”

“I didn’t ask you to do this.”

“I know that, I was being nice. Besides, those hurt your feet and we have a lot of walking to do so you’ll have to wear something higher than that.”

“Oh come on! I can barely stand in these!”

“You’ll get used to it.” Valerie picked the black and red stilettos up once more and handed them to Harlow. “Plus this way it gives the clear coat time to air dry.”

Harlow examined the shoes for the first time, there were two thin straps with equally small buckles, clearly intended to lock them in place. The red straps criss crossed over his feet with black filigree in the shape of spiraling thorny vines. “I know they’re pretty, but you can’t just stare at them all day.”

Sitting in the small chair outside of a large makeup chain store Harlow grumbled under his breath while waiting for the technician to return. "Do I really have to do this?!"

"Totally!" Valerie cheered. "You need to practice your voice and your backstory anyway so this is the perfect time."

"How?! She's going to be painting my face. How am I supposed to talk while she's doing that and not come out looking like bozo the clown?"

"Girls do it all the time. You're a girl." Valerie shrugged.

"I'm-I haven't done this before!" He changed his tone, quite literally, when he saw the hard look Valerie gave him.

"Okay, I'm back." The small teenager smiled all saccharin and sweet. "Lucy was it?"

"Uh right, yeah. Th-that's me." Harlow burned behind his own fake smile as the pretty girl, who had introduced herself as Amanda, took a wet wipe and gently wiped his face clean of any leftover makeup. The young woman stood close enough that her chest was in Harlow's face.

"So, like, I think she said she wanted a normal look but if you could also get us something for later tonight? She has a date with her boyfriend."

"Another?" Harlow hissed.

"Well yeah, you said you were gonna host his weekly poker game remember?"

"I…guess I forgot? But, like, do I need makeup for that?"

"Of course you do. Close your eyes," Amanda said  just before spritzing a sticky water on his face. "Let me guess, his friends from highschool still get together to stay in touch?"

"I do-"

"Yep."

"They do?" He asked.

"Yeah…he didn't tell you?"

"No…" the revelation that Danny had purposefully left him out felt like a punch to the solo plexus.

"How long have you been dating your boyfriend?"

"Oh uh…a few months?"

"Ah see, you're still in that, finding out about each other phase. He probably didn't think it was a big deal to you." She carefully ran an orange stick around the outside of his lips.

"I guess." Harlow glanced at Valerie and realized she was no doubt behind it. He’d get her back later.

"How did you two meet anyway?" Amanda asked as she drew under his eyes with what looked like a green crayon now.

"Oh…" Harlow glanced at Valerie before starting the rehearsed story. After he finished the tale of their meet cute Amanda asked him more questions about their dating history. Valerie smiled as he was forced to make up a host of cute things Danny had done with Lucy, such as the time Danny took Lucy to the water park and he picked her up when she was preparing to jump off of the high dive and he jumped with her in his arms into the water below, or the time they went to the park for a picnic dinner and watched a romantic movie projected onto a large screen that once housed a drive in theater and there under the stars and the glittering screen they had their first kiss.

By the time Harlow had finished his stories Amanda had finished his day makeup. Valerie covered her smirk behind a magazine. She despised the yuts but his ‘gushing girlfriend’ act was certainly getting better. With a little more practice he might even be able to fool Danny himself. Vanessa had selected this station because she knew from previous experiences that Amanda was incredibly nosey, especially when it came to couple stories. Listening to Lucy’s stories certainly had the gears turning in her head. “Okay, sweetie. I got you all set up with something simple for your daytime look. What do you think?" She spun a hand mirror in her hand. The reflection showed a very pretty girl next door. She didn't look half as beautiful as the one from the other night but she would definitely be the type of girl Harlow would run a game on.

"I…love it." Harlow lied.

"Fantastic! And you guys said you wanted an evening look too?"

"That's right."

"I went ahead and put some things in your bag. Would you like me to show you how to do it? We can wash this off and start over-"

"No, we're good."  Harlow said quickly, standing out of the uncomfortable low back stool.

"Are you sure you can do it yourself?" Valerie placed a reassuring hand on Harlow's shoulder.

"Uh…yeah. Sure…. you can, like, help if you want."

"Of course."

Amanda squealed quietly, "Aww, I wish I had a big sis like you."

"She's not my sister."

"Lucy's actually dating my brother."

"Oh wow! That's great. Cause if the sister doesn't like ya, the relationship is doomed, right?" She and Valerie laughed.

"That's true. I think without me these two wouldn't even be together at all." Valerie laughed as she paid for everything.

After the fifteen minute torture Harlow hoped they could finally leave. But no. According to Valerie no girl's trip to the mall was complete without trying on multiple outfits and dresses. "But you already bought me clothes."

"A girl can never have enough clothes. Plus maybe we'll find a cute shoe for you."

"Shoes too?! Fine. Twenty minutes and we'll just go."

The next three hours were some of the most boring of his life. And that includes the time he was given in school suspension and could only stare at a blank wall for five hours. At least there he wasn't forced to try on two dozen dresses, skirts, and tops. Each of them showed so much skin he would no doubt burn on a clear and sunny day. "It's the price of being a pretty girl."

"Whatever." He sighed.

Toward the end of the third hour a chilling thought occurred to him while Valerie was looking at an empire waist dress  she wasn't sure if she wanted to humiliate Harlow with the pretty garment or enjoy it herself. Turning she held the dress to her frame and asked, "what do you think?" She dropped the dress when she realized Lucy was gone! Did the bad guys find them!? Could they see through his disguise after all?! She didn't know but one thing she knew for sure was she had to find him quick!

Harlow sneered as he walked through the mostly empty back street. It was just off of the strip so not as many tourists would crowd the streets, making it easier to tell if someone was out of place or not. He had managed to sneak off from Valerie at the mall while she was engrossed in some slutty outfit or another.

He was able to cut through a few alleys he knew could get him to where he needed to go. As he rounded the corner his heels clicked past a blind beggar who whistled at him, “I recognize the sound of a pretty lady anywhere.”

“...Thanks.” He said in a soft voice. He noticed the small styrofoam coffee cup that jingled with charity, “I…don’t have any cash on me. Sorry.”

“How bout a kiss instead?” He smiled a toothless grin.

“No way!” He hurried away from the creepy beggar as quickly as he could on unsure legs.

The man laughed in the distance, “You’ll be back! They always come back for what ol’ Johnny gives em.”

“What, syphilis?” Harlow scoffed as he finally arrived at the snap-it gas station, the only place he knew of that still had a working payphone. He walked to the side of the building beside a couple of propane tanks and found the rusted red colored payphone cemented into the wall. Perfect for keeping people from stealing it, but if it broke it would be impossible to repair. It was a gamble. Picking up the receiver a thought occurred to him…he didn’t actually have any money on him. He didn’t lie to the man before, not that he would have given him anything anyway but he had come all this way!

Biting his lip he saw a man standing beside a shiny blue sedan. “Um…hey, I was wondering-”

“Sorry lady, I don’t pay for sex.”

“What?!”

“You’re kinda cute, but I got a wife and kid at home.”

“I’m not a hooker! Jackass!” Harlow stormed away furiously, tripping slightly as his heel caught in a crack of the parking lot. Throwing the gas station door open, a burst of freezing cold air struck every inch of exposed skin he had. He had been sweating while he walked in the heat and had forgotten all about his newly smooth and sensitive legs until the chilled air practically froze his sweat in a flash. “C-cold!” He shivered, stepping quickly out of the door. “H-hey. I was w-wondering if you could gimme some-”

“No handouts. Gotta buy something.”

“No, I just need change for the payphone.”

“Sure. How much,” He held out his hand with a deep sigh.

“I don’t actually have it, it would be more of a loan.” The heavyset man slammed the drawer closed.

“No handouts.”

“I just need a couple quarters for the phone man. I’m trying to call my mom and make sure she’s alive.”

“I’ve heard better stories. Next time add a sick kid. You’ll get more sympathy that way.”

“What?! I’m not-”

“Unless you’re buying something you’ll have to leave. You’re bothering my customers.” Harlow looked around the empty store before turning back to the man behind the counter.

“Come on ma-”

“Sir, you need to leave before I call the police.”

“Sir?” Harlow realized he had lost his feminine voice at some point during their argument. “Wha-I’m not dis-the cops?!” His eyes widened as his brain processed what he had actually said. “Fine, I’m going you fat fuck!” Harlow shouted as he stormed out of the store.

Walking back he weighed his options, the next payphone was…too far to walk in heels and even then he’d have to rely on the kindness of assholes. Maybe he could ask Valerie but she would bug him about the why of it all.

Harlow stopped when the faint jingling sound of change caught his ear. The blind beggar was still on his street corner, cane looped around one hand and change cup in the other. He was giving a dramatic retelling of some story he was clearly making up as he went and shaking his cup at the few people he heard walking by him.

Tiptoeing Harlow crossed the street, taking very careful steps as he quietly approached the man. He waited as the man continued his story to no one. After about thirty seconds of making sure no one was around or the man hadn’t somehow sensed his approach. Harlow reached into the man’s cup with careful fingers. As soon as his fingers touched a quarter the man’s story stopped and he snatched Harlow’s wrist like a praying mantis to a fly. “Hah I knew you’d be back!”

“What?! Let go, you crazy old man!”

“I may be crazy but I can smell your flower shampoo across the street! You tryin’ ta rob ol Johnny?! Huh? Take food from Johnny’s plate?!”

“No! I just needed money for the phone!”

“Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters?!” Johnny laughed at his own joke, his hand still gripping Harlow’s wrist like a steel vice.

“My mom, man! I wanna make sure she’s okay!” Harlow suddenly fell backwards onto the sidewalk.

The old man crouched down in front of Harlow, “Your momma, huh?”

“Ye-yeah.” He corrected himself, making sure to be as breathy as possible.

“Tell ya what. I’ll give ya the coin but for trade.”

“Trade for what?”

The man leered at Harlow, “It’s been a long time since lil Johnny had some company.”

“W-for-you want me to-fuck you dude! I’m not a hooker!”

“Fine. Fine. How bout just a kiss on the cheek.” He pointed to a side of his face not currently occupied by hair or liver spots.

“...just your cheek?”

“Just the cheek. And you can take all ya need.”

Harlow looked around the empty street, he did have options…but there was only so long he could be gone before it became an issue, and he really did need to make sure his mother was okay. The longer he took to warn her the more likely she would be in danger. “Okay. Just one kiss on the cheek.” Johnny nodded and helped Harlow to his heeled feet before wiping the intended cheek with the cleanest part of his shirt.  ‘How kind.’ He thought rather than said, if he opened his mouth he might just vomit. Johnny presented his dirty cheek and Harlow leaned in closer. As he was about to press his lips to the man’s cheek his head was grabbed with the same inhuman-like speed as his wrist and suddenly he felt the sharp pain of his scraggly white beard as Johnny forced his lips against Harlow’s painted lips. For the third time in two days another man’s tongue had forced its way into Harlow’s mouth.

Harlow pushed as hard as he could against the man but the man maintained his grip until he had explored every corner of Harlow’s mouth. Once again Harlow fell to the sidewalk as the man laughed and released his victim. “Now that was definitely worth the price of admission!” Johnny dropped four quarters to the sidewalk before turning and walking away, still laughing.

Not knowing what else to do Harlow grabbed the quarters and rushed to the payphone, quickly dialing his mother's number. The phone rang several times before the machine finally picked up. "Mom? Are you there? No I guess you're still at bingo. Look mom, I'm fine I'm staying at…well I can't tell you but I'm gonna be gone for a few weeks maybe months. I just wanted to say I love you and don't answer the door unles-" the line suddenly picked up, "Mom?!"

"It's good you love your momma boy." Marcus' voice smiled like a hungry lion before a wounded wildebeest,  "Maybe if you tell us where you are we can let your momma know where to pick up your body.