Saturday Update!

Hello again folks! I'm glad to start a new year with you guys!

I got a bit of writing done last week, not a ton, but some.

So that bottom chunk looks all fucked up because honestly the actual script barely resembles the plan there any more 😂🙈 I mentioned earlier that I cut some content from that chunk for being identical to the previous night. However, since then, I've added a couple new events [ one of which really should have already been in the planning doc ] so the section has been jumbled up significantly from the original plan.

I do think it works a lot better now of course, there's a little more interest and gameplay to be had. I still need to write a fair bit of it [ evidenced by the hole and circle there ] but at least it's a solid plan now. I think that when I return to work next week, I won't be so stuck any more. I feel like I've worked out the kinks with the plan. You can probably interpret that sentence with either homonym LMAO

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Unfortunately, I don't have any drawings or music for this update. I spent some time last week just relaxing and enjoying the new year with Willow.

I thought that instead I would like to take some time to recap what's happened this year. Last weekend I read my mom's unedited memoir and it made me see the value in taking the time to write out things, in a journalistic sense.

When I think about it, this has been a very eventful year for me. It's the first year I've spent in my new home, for instance, which I already love dearly. It's also the first home I was able to buy, rather than rent. I moved in last February and it feels like I've been here longer. This is the first time a space has really felt like it was mine.

I spent the first half of the year finishing and releasing the first YKMET game, which was both very exciting and extremely draining. The approval process was a total nightmare, normally taking around 5-10 days, it took over 50. I still have no proof for why, but I assume it had to do with the content either pissing off the company or the individual steam employees who were testing it. I remember that stretch of time being constant unending anxiety, to the point of causing minor health issues.

After that, I designed and ordered new merch products. My store was booming, and I remember the stress of that being rough after the whole approval process debacle.

Then of course that ties in to the Canada Post strikes, and the fall of the USA. That's an entire massive can of worms I won't open here, aside from how it's been affecting me, which is of course, more stress. I think the Canada Post situation is actually finally resolving now, but the US has only gotten worse and more terrifying. It fills me with dread and exhaustion. I hope 2026 is bringing some hope and change there.

I closed my store due to both the uncertainty of the mail system and the stress, and it's remained closed for quite a while. I plan to open it again sometime this month [ for non-USA customers ]. I have all of those new products stored in my 'domestic warehouse' [ which is one of the bedrooms of my apartment filled with metal shelving I bought and set up ] and I plan to finally release those a while after the opening of the store. I have to stagger things so the shipping labour doesn't overwhelm me.

There were also some big changes and events in my personal life last year.

Around the time I was trying to release YKMET:Strade, I briefly mentioned on here that one of my family members got sick. I didn't want to mention details because I was scared, honestly. I'd seen how the internet treated jacksepticeye when his father passed, and other similar events. People can be evil and I'm too sensitive for that. But now the situation has improved so I think I can say what happened now.

Near the end of last spring, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm very close with her and we were terrified. It was kind of an upheaval for her, and us. She got surgery to remove the lumps and some lymph nodes, and then she got radiation treatment. She was spared from chemo thanks to some new research that showed her particular hormonal type can be treated with hormone blockers more effectively. She was treated efficiently and quickly, she was scanned thoroughly, and now she's cancer free and on drugs that should prevent it from coming back. I'm deeply grateful for current medical advances and for the doctors that treated her as a priority. We have a strained medical system here, so I know those people are making sacrifices to save her life and others. I still have my mom. I can't convey what that means to me.

It was very traumatic for her, and she's been working through that too. That's what her memoir was about, that I mentioned before. It inspired me to draw a scene from it, a dream she described, but for now it's just a concept sketch. I'll make time to render it eventually. And I'll ask her if I can post it here when I do. I won't post it if she doesn't want me to.

I think the ordeal did bring us closer together. Throughout our relationship, I've always been the one having a crisis or panic attack. It was strange to be on the other side, though I was glad that I was able to bring my pile of experience with anxiety to the table. I think we understand each other now on a deeper level. I'm glad we were able to talk about it.

Speaking of family, I have to of course mention Willow. It had been four years since Aeris passed away, and I was honestly reluctant to adopt another cat. I was afraid of the medical anxiety, the fear and pain. Losing her crushed me, and it took me a long time to recover. Adopting Willow felt like a very scary leap of faith, to be honest.

Grief is the cost of love. I had to push myself to accept the terms of love and grief again. I'm glad I did though. Very glad. Willow has brought her own little bit of medical anxiety with her delicate digestive system [ probably harmed from her too-early litter of kittens I reckon ], but I'm older now, and I've been through the roads of pain. Love is still worth it. Every day with her is worth it.

I think the last year held a lot of anxiety and challenges for me, but it also had priceless gifts.

My relationships have deepened, I've braved the unknown and found a new home and a new furry partner. I've struggled through the end of one project and started another. My business is doing well, despite the odds. I have a lot to be grateful for.

I am struggling with the difficulty of writing this new script, but I know I'll get through this too.

I should also take a moment to be more directly grateful, specifically to you guys. Thank you so much for your financial, mental, and emotional support. I've gotten messages and comments before that said things like 'I always look forward to saturday' or 'these updates help me get through the week'. It's the same for me too. I look forward to writing about what I've done, and I especially look forward to the comments. It's the last little sweet shred of the social internet for me. It's motivation, validation, and relief. Thank you. It does mean a lot to me, it's a big part of my life.

Anyway, I suppose that's all I can think of to say right now!

My wish for the new year is peace. Within and without. I hope everyone can find a quiet moment of joy, no matter where they are or what they are forced to endure. I will try to find and create my own peace. I want to worry less and create more.

I think I've spent a lot of time now at the edge of water I used to swim in fearlessly, now too scared to approach. I was too careless before, but now I think I've become too careful.

I'll keep searching for balance.

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Stay safe guys, and hang in there. I've attached another little video of Willow- I discovered that she likes her fishing rod toy 20X more without the toy attached 😂 I think the little clip at the end reminds her of a bug, and she's remarkably good at stomping on the moving string [ her paws are especially big haha ]

And of course, see you next week!