Chapter 16 - Desperate Measures

ROY

I check my rearview mirror and then slow the car on the street. According to the GPS, that four-floor apartment block on my right is the place. I peer out and up at the gray-fronted building and I’m nervous. And not just because I’ve never been to Joe and Rachel’s home before. Nor even because he sounded a little awkward last night on the phone when I asked if it would be OK to drop by. I mean, he was out with friends at some party when we spoke. No, the worst thing about having no choice but to come here, is because of what Joe will think of me when he hears about Lanie. What I loser I’ll look to a guy like him.

My stomach drops again. But I need their help.

I swing the car around the back of the building like Joe directed me to last night, and he was right. There are plenty of spaces. Even though it’s Sunday evening when you’d expect most people to be at home, not at work.

Who else would I turn to about this anyway? I need to know what to do. How to make things right again with Lanie. Or if I should even be trying to fix it.

Yeah, like you could give her up.

Joe might judge me for what’s happened, but that has to be better than asking a co-worker or a close friend for advice, and then everyone knowing exactly what ‘Roy’s stunning girlfriend’ has done to him.

I pull the car into a space and get out. There’s a chill in the air and a moon above that’s very near to full.

Joe knows Lanie and her family way better than I do. He’s been involved with them for years more than I have. And he was right with the original advice he gave me. He warned me not to propose to her so soon. Not to put pressure on her when she was still grieving about her Pop. But I wouldn’t listen, would I? I don’t care if Joe knows what she’s done. I need his help. I can’t let something as stupid as my pride get in the way.

I climb the concrete stairs to the second floor and apartment 201. And then when I’m finally up there and a little breathless, I knock on their sky-blue door and wait.

Despite how much I’ve thought about this upcoming conversation, now I’m here, I’m uncertain how to even start it. The thought of putting it all into words twists my stomach. His relationship with Lanie’s sister has always been so strong and he might think I’m wasting his time after ignoring what he advised last time.

And Joe’s a strong alpha type of guy. He’s in sales and he plays in a band for God’s sake. He’d never want Rachel back if she’d cheated on him. Not that she ever would. He might just tell me to forget Lanie and to stop being so weak.

It’s Joe who answers the door he looks anything but ‘strong.’ He’s in a sloppy gray sweatshirt and baggy joggers and has big black circles under his eyes.

“Hey Joe,” I smile but he looks more tired than I’ve ever seen him.

“Roy,” he nods and gestures me inside.

Oh hell, I feel kind of bad about coming here now.

“You sure this is OK?” I ask and wonder whether I should have backed off until next week when I heard his initial hesitancy on the phone last night. But I couldn’t wait any longer.

“Yeah just wiped out,” he sighs.

“Heavy night in the end?” I ask as he leads me through a narrow hallway where we have to avoid several toys on the floor and where there’s a photo of him with Rachel and JJ.

“Yeah, a bit,” he says in a galley kitchen with bright red worktops and he fills the kettle. “Rachel went back to bed with JJ this afternoon.”

“So where was the party?”

“Some golf club,” he shrugs with his back to me.

I didn’t know he was the golfing type. Maybe he has to play because of his job.

“You want a seat?” he gestures at a breakfast bar with two stools underneath.

I drag one of them out. “I’m sure you won’t be surprised to learn that it’s Lanie I need advice about,” I say as he grabs two mugs out of a cupboard.

“Kind of guessed,” he nods. “Coffee? The machine’s shot, it’ll have to be instant or tea.”

“Coffee, please. White, one sugar. I should have listened to what you told me last time. About asking her to get married.”

“You’re both still young,” he says and leans back against a worktop while the kettle boils and he folds his arms. “There’s plenty of time for all that.”

“Thing is Joe,” I say and clear my throat. I might as well get it over with straight away. “She’s been with another guy.”

“Oh,” he says and his eyebrows arch. The kettle clicks and it’s boiled so Joe turns his back on me again and drops spoonfuls of coffee granules and sugar into each cup. He adds milk and hot water. “When did that happen?”

“Only a couple of weeks back. I took her away for two nights and she told me then.”

“Right,” Joe hands me a blue and white striped mug, “Who was he?”

“She wouldn’t tell me,” I say with a sudden chill and the mug held in both hands, “She said I don’t know him. Only that he was older.”

“An older guy?” Joe’s eyebrows arch again and he sighs.

“Yeah,” I nod. “The thing is, we rowed about it. Obviously. And she seemed nearly as upset as me. But I told her we were through. And she understood. But I’m not sure I’ve done the right thing.”

I’m certain I haven’t.

“I can’t stop thinking about her, Joe. No matter what she’s done. I still love her.”

“What about the other guy?” Joe asks from behind his mug, “Is Lanie still seeing him?”

“She said not. But the longer I leave it with me and her not speaking, surely the more likely she is to turn to him again?”

“I thought I heard voices,” Rachel says softly, and her bare feet patter into the kitchen. She covers her mouth to yawn and with a pink, silky dressing gown pulled tight around her waist she comes to me. She’s the same as Lanie. They both still look so pretty even when they just woke up.

My heart aches at the reminder.

She kisses the side of my face and she smells of stale perfume and booze. But she’s the same as Lanie in another way too. You kind of forget how good-looking she is until you see her again. She’s got a big lovebite on her neck.

“I was just telling Joe,” I say because Rachel’s perspective will be valuable too. I need all the help I can get from those who know Lanie best. “Your sister and I broke up.”

“Again?” Rachel stands on the balls of her bare feet and reaches for another mug from the cupboard.

“Yeah, I know,” I say and lower my head. “This time though, there was another guy.”

“Lanie? Oh. I’m sorry about that Roy,” Rachel looks right at me with the same shaped and colored eyes as my girl and that triggers my heart again. But Joe’s wife does genuinely seem unhappy to hear the news. “I had no idea,” she shakes her head.

It ocurrs to me now that I may have dropped Lanie in the shit by letting her whole family know what she’s done, but I’m desperate.

Rachel slides onto the stool alongside me and she squeeze my knee and smiles. Her dressing gown slips away a little from one of her bare thighs. She covers it back up again right away, but not before I see a real big bruise on the inside there too.

My face flushes.

“I know some people would say it’s wrong of me,” I mumble and try to collect my thoughts, “wanting to even get back with after what she’s done but...”

“If you love her it’s not wrong,” Rachel shakes her loose hair and she lifts her mug to her lips. “And even if she has been with someone else, that doesn’t necessarily mean her feelings for you will have changed,” Rachel and Joe exchange glances. “You should talk to her, Roy.”

“You think?” I gaze back at her and Lanie’s big sister has told me exactly what I needed to hear. Even though now, Joe has already started to present a counterargument.

Outside and back in my car a little later, I know I could text Lanie to ask if she’ll meet to talk. But what if she says ‘No’?

I won’t take that risk. I’ll go to her house right now. If I just turn up there, then she’ll have to let me in and listen to what I have to say. And if she’s not home, then at least I’ll have tried.

Anyway, it’s Sunday night. Where else would she be but home?

I start the car and don’t want to dwell on one potential answer to that last internal question.

She might be with him.

But as I drive further through the streets in the direction of where Lanie lives, I try to make sense of a sickly excitement that accompanies my sense of dread. The incessant thoughts that have plagued me since her confession. The images and sounds of Lanie with some other man. Her letting him - an older, more experienced man – do things to her.

I pull up at the end of her drive a short while later. The lights are on downstairs and up. I honestly wish I was strong enough to stay away a few more weeks, to wait until Lanie realizes how much she misses me. But I can’t do it. I can’t take the risk of losing her. The thought of her eats me up. I can’t fight the urge to see her.

I knock on the door, my heart thumping. I don’t even know what I’ll say. Apart from ‘I forgive you’, or something like that. Please, God, don’t let her have ‘moved on’.

Sophie answers in a short skirt and fluffy pink slippers. Her smile is warm and there’s a smell of savory food from the hallway behind her.

“Hi Roy,” she says, “She’s in her bedroom. I’ll give her a shout,” she beckons me inside.

She mustn’t have any idea what’s happened.

I step into the warmth of a house where I used to be so welcome and that I miss so much. Somehow tonight though, I feel like a stranger here. And that hurts.

“Lanie?” Sophie yells at the stairs.

“Who is it?” the old guy from next door emerges from the living room with a newspaper folded under one arm.

“Evening Mr. Talbot,” I say and never truly understand what it is about him that Lanie dislikes so much.

“What?” Lanie yells back from the top of the stairs.

“Roy’s here to see you,” Sophie gestures her down.

“Roy?” Lanie mutters quietly, like she’s talking to herself.

“We’ll leave you to it,” Sophie smiles at me and heads for the living room.

Mr Talbot stays put though, gazing up at the stairs as Lanie descends.

“Roy, what are you doing here?” she frowns at me, and even without a scrap of makeup on and in a baggy white sweatshirt with her dark leggings, she stops my breathing. She’s got nothing on her feet either, not even nail polish. She’s so beautiful.

“I had to see you,” I say and gaze at her with an uncertain smile.

“Alright, Dennis. You can go now,” Lanie turns her frown on the old man.

“Nice to see you again Roy,” he smiles at me and makes his way to the living room.

“Roy, why have you come here?” Lanie sighs when he’s closed the door and we’re alone in the hallway. “We’re finished,” she says.

Her words stab me.

“I don’t want that Lanie,” I shake my head and gaze back at her.

“Roy,” she sighs, “You’re the one who told me it was over.”

“And I was wrong,” I scour her eyes for any hint that she’s been missing me.

“No, Roy,” she shakes her pretty head, “You were right. I cheated on you. Doesn’t that tell you something?”

“I don’t care,” I say although that’s hardly true, “I forgive you.”

“You can’t forgive something like that,” she says and crosses her arms.

“Are you still seeing him?” My stomach churns, “whoever he is.”

“No,” she sighs and then rolls her eyes, “I’m not still seeing him.”

I want to ask her again who he was, insist she tells me his name so I can find him on socials and try and see what she saw in him. Even while I hate him. But I know that asking her would only antagonize her.

“Well, I don’t care what you did with him or with anyone else,” I say, “I just need to be with you. I still love you. So much. We can work it out between us.”

“Roy, you were right to finish with me. It’s what I deserved. You should just get on with your life without me.” Her arms are crossed so tight.

“No Lanie,” I try to take her warm hand – or rather her clenched fist - and is it madness that her refusals ignite an awful passion in me? Even as they drive me close to absolute panic? “I don’t want a life without you.”

“Don’t even say that,” she shakes her head again but now her eyes fill up too, “You should just go, Roy. I’ve got those apprenticeship interviews next month and if I get a job there it’ll be the start of a new chapter for me. You need to start your own too.”

“Lanie no,” I say louder than I mean to and now I’m filling up as well but she won’t listen. She pulls away and hurries to the stairs then stomps up them.

“Everything OK out here?” the old man appears in the hallway again.

“Dennis, why can’t you just fuck off?” Lanie yells from the top of the stairs and a door up there slams.

“Charming,” he rolls his eyes at me and adjusts his glasses.

“You should probably go home Roy,” Sophie says from behind him and now even she looks concerned.

Outside again I sit in my car at the end of Lanie’s drive but I don’t start the engine. I stare out at the night in a daze.

I’ve really lost her this time, haven’t I? What am I going to do?

I’m overwhelmed with despair, and the conversation and with the way Lanie looked at me. Like she hardly knew me at all. It replays over and over in my mind like a horror movie in slow motion. Or a nightmare that I’m trying so hard to wake myself from but I can’t.

She’s got to still be seeing that guy. But who is he? My stomach drops. Why wouldn’t she tell me anything about him?

My fingers drum on the steering wheel. My thoughts drift back to McKenzie’s taxi driver dad. Lanie and her used his taxi a lot. And whenever I saw him, he always looked at my girl like he was interested in her.

Is it him?

No. Not her best friend’s dad. And anyway, she could have met loads of other men with the amount of times she and that other girl used to go out on the town.

And surely now, without McKenzie around, Lanie would be more inclined to return to an ‘ex-lover’ for company? Or for nights out together.

The thought makes me almost vomit. But I’m quivering all over too. Filled with a queasy mix of jealousy with a perverse sense of rotting excitement at the possibility of learning more about her ‘affair’.

Maybe I could find out where that taxi driver lives and watch his place just in case. That could be a start to learning something about whoever the guy is. Or I could book his cab myself and subtly quiz him about Lanie, see what he knows. Or if it’s not him, then maybe see if he’s heard anything about her. See if he lets anything slip.

Something knocks against my window and I jump in my seat.

Old Mr. Talbot, peers in and gestures for me to lower the glass.

“You alright?” he asks and then peers back over his shoulder at Lanie’s house.

“Yeah,” I sigh and shove the key in the ignition.

“Look, tell me to mind my own business, but I couldn’t help hearing some of what you two were arguing about back there.”

“We weren’t really arguing,” I lie, embarrassed that now it seems even he knows of my shame.

“I know how tough affairs of the heart can be,” he says, “Women can so easily hurt us guys.”

“Yeah,” I say.

“Look, if I can help you in any way,” he shrugs and peers back at the house again, “I’d be happy to. You’re a nice young man. And I’m in that house a lot of the time. I could even speak to her for you,” he shrugs.

What good does he think that would do?

“Or maybe if you’re worried that she’s still seeing whoever it is, I could do some detective work for you. Check her phone, something like that. See if there’s any messages or photos of them together, or whatever

Does he really want to help me?

“If you know her passcode for her phone,” he shrugs, “Just let me have it and I’ll see what I can do.”

Author's Notes

Is there any future now for Roy and Lanie? Would he really recruit someone like Dennis Talbot to do his dirty work, or does he have more sense? And what about Lanie? With her best friend now out of the picture and a toxic home life, where does she go from here?

Share your thoughts or ideas in the comments below.

Next week, it's your exclusive pre-publication access to the finale of the 'Black Marks' interracial series with the opening chapter of Book 4...

© 2025 Tinto Selvaggio. All rights reserved.

 All characters portrayed in this ebook are consenting adults eighteen years of age or older. As a work of fiction, any similarities to any situations or persons living or dead are entirely coincidental.