HBS 2-week update (2)

Overall I do feel like the last 2 weeks have been objectively pretty good. But as always there are stumbling blocks and some of them are blocks that I thought i’d at least be able to overcome on my own.

Set A

The major issue this time around has actually been the abyss expansion. I guess with all the busyness of the season as well as the final commission crunch it was a little over-optimistic to promise a 2nd one of those in december. Which really blows because overall it seems like you all like them and they SHOULD be easy to produce..
I think the main reason this is happening is actually that I’m pushing the issue too much. This is something that happens with a lot of my creative energy; where I’ll identify an idea I want to do, but it won’t happen for whatever reason. But that will make me put more pressure on myself to do the thing because I place this entirely imaginary time crunch on myself “you missed it yesterday, you’ve got to do it today”. But that pressure, rather than allowing creative energy to flow, stops it up almost immediately. It pushes it from something enjoyable into something that feels like a chore. And since, unlike commissions or real chores, i have no outside impetus that can break down that pressure or put an additional pressure on; the idea just gets left there. Stuck. 

I think maybe posting the next one for free on youtube might help alleviate the pressure because of some of the instant gratification lubricant. But we’ll see. Rn i’m playing around with either revisiting the absolutely ancient Muscle pup ideals and maybe taking a musk-le pup
Or quite possibly (because I now officially have my own esoteric any pronouns boygirl girlboy (their words not mine)who might be able to offer some insight here) i might make a femboy/bimboi improv file. I’ll have to run that by them though.

Set B

Everything from this set does feel a bit like a struggle. Not in any concrete sense, but i suppose because they are all so vaguely defined and don’t have specific actions or metrics attached to them, it’s hard to feel as fulfilled.
I think the aesthetic himbofication one ironically is the sticking point recently. Part of it is as i’ve expressed before just a need to push myself out of my comfort zone. But I’d also admit that being nearer the end of a bulk(one i perhaps did not need) I just generally don’t feel super spicy about my appearance in general. But I’m gonna force myself to buy some himbo accessories and hope that over time as the fluff recedes i’ll feel even better wearing them. Hopefully I don’t wuss out and you all get to see some of them in the next big update.