To Boldly Grow - A Hypothetical Star Trek Crew

So friend of the author Leaftilde (who also has a writing patreon if you like genderplay stories with lots of c*m and monsters) posted this hypothetical writing test online:

I'm a huge fan of Leaf~, and she's generally an enabler of my random goblin mode escapades, so I feel like I'm up to the task of doing this.

First, some Trek bonafides. Set phasers to cringe:

• My favorite Trek is Voyager. I grew up with TNG, but Voyager hit at the perfect time for me. I also have a huge soft spot in my heart for Enterprise. That's the one show I wish hadn't been cancelled. We got robbed.

• As a child I dressed up as Captain Picard for Halloween, using one of the Playmates toys' standees as a comm badge, a wooden carved phaser, and the 9394 Simplicity pattern sized down for a child. It was not an easy costume to make in '93.

• The only LAN party I ever attended was to play deathmatch on Elite Force. I placed fourth.

• Some of my very first adult fanfiction was definitely Seven of Nine breast inflation stuff on DeviantArt (back when DA was still very new).

Now though, I'm admittedly a fairweather Trek fan at best. I liked Lower Decks a bunch, but other than a couple of clips of Strange New Worlds on TikTok, I haven't watched Star Trek in years and don't really plan to. For me, it is now firmly a nostalgia thing.

And yet here I am, at the ready with a whole cast of characters for a hypothetical seven season television series!

Of course, if you know me...my seven seasons of Trek would not be safe for television.

A Goblin By Any Other Name

We begin, of course, without intrepid captain.

Gobliens are a young spacefaring species. Their planet, Gobsphere, rests on the border of the Klingon Empire, and as such they were often taken as slaves to work the lower decks of Klingon warbirds.

Mom’ma and 300 other gobliens stole a klingon freighter and piloted it right into the Romulan neutral zone, where they were thankfully picked up by a Federation patrol craft. The gobliens claimed asylum within the Federation, and all 300 became Federation citizens across the Alpha Quadrant.

Of those 300 gobliens, 20 pursued careers in Starfleet.

While most went to Starfleet Academy on Earth, a select few were given probational assignments under Starfleet’s alien refugee field commission program, where aliens experienced in specific fields are given probational officer ranks aboard Federation starships far from Sector 001.

Mom’ma was one of these commissioned officers.

She was given the rank of Ensign and brought aboard the USS Ichabod as part of the science division.

Becoming A Captain

The USS Ichabod is an Intrepid class starship geared towards astronomical study and field research. It was launched after the Dominion War in the Federation’s renewed effort to demilitarize Starfleet. It was a science research vessel first and foremost, making a circuit of voyages between numerous research outposts in the far reaches of Federation space and beyond.

In a tragic accident, the ship’s crew was almost completely killed when they passed through a brain melting nebula. The senior staff perished instantly. Only Mom’ma and a few other crew from species immune to the brain melting effects of the nebula survived.

Mom’ma took charge of the ship and lead rescue operations of the nearby outpost, in addition to saving them from a Klingon attack party.

When the ships’ logs were reviewed, it was decided that Mom’ma had all the makings of command material, so she and her surviving crew were promoted with field accommodations to senior staff. After one harrowing event, She was now acting Captain Gobbo.

Now in charge, Captain Gobbo instituted some unorthadox changes to her crew and ship, outfitting it in such a way to make it more adaptable to the rigors of scientific exploration and study. Starfleet Command doesn’t seem to have much interest in her or what her crew get up to, which gives her plenty of freedom to indulge her more lurid fantasies.

The Bridge Crew Of The Ichabod

I really wish I had proper mock ups of all of these sci-fi dorks, but you'll have to make due with gifs.

1st Officer - Commander Lir’osh Kong

Lir'osh is a female klingon raised among humans. She has a war bond with the captain, and they encourage each others worst tendencies.

• Lir'osh has the klingon equivalent of high masking autism. She often overcompensates when it comes to her 'klingon-ness', as it's a point of pride for her, despite her being raised completely separate from her native culture. To her, it's a hyperfixation. When she lets her guard down, she's very quiet and gentle.

• Lir'osh's mother is a high ranking captain in the Klingon Empire who has functionally disowned her daughter. Lir'osh still hopes for reconciliation one day, or if that's not possible...to kill her mother in battle.

• Despite her first instinct being combat, Lir'osh has a background in sciences. She's the Spock to Mom'ma's Kirk in complex situations.

2nd Officer / Tactical - Lieutenant Shremos Sh'thirrek

Shremos is a female andorian who grew up within the Federation on a mixed species colony world. She is plump and sweet, but secretly a sadistic domme who was once part of the Andorian Imperial Guard.

• Shremos is often all smiles on the bridge and around the ship. She is constantly chipper and happy go lucky, until put into a combat situation or tense scenario, where her more sadistic side comes out.

• Shremos is fiercely competitive, and loves to facilitate situations where crew members can compete with one another. She is especially fond of eating competitions, being a bit of a glutton herself.

• Shremos has a colored past with Starfleet, having once held the rank of Commander, but was demoted due to negligent conduct that cost the lives of fellow crewmembers. She was knocked down to ensign and worked her way back up, but she's been blacklisted by much of Starfleet.

Conn Officer - Ensign Mickey Fieldman

Mickey is a male human twink in over his head. He’s the audience POV character who very quickly gets fattened up or inflated by problems of the week, or by everyone else in the crew.

• Mickey is a fresh out of the academy ensign serving on a science vessel out in the galaxy, doing more than any of his former classmates. Unfortunately, that's because he accepted the posting based on its prospective status, rather than its actual conditions. As such, he's often surprised, shocked, or disappointed.

• Mickey's much more like a Harry Kim than a Wesley Crusher. He's dutiful and committed, but naïve and easily fooled.

• Despite being a hapless loser, Mickey likes to liken himself to famous and charming captains of the past (James T. Kirk being a role model). He has the endless confidence of a ladies man (though he's very bisexual), despite being constantly rejected.

Science Officer - Six of Six

Six of Six is a female bajoran assimilated by the borg in the Gamma Quadrant, then liberated by Starfleet. She's been fully integrated into the Federation as a science officer.

• The comparisons to Seven of Nine are abundant. What sets Six apart is her willingness not to become more Bajoran over time, but to become more like the borg, without surrendering her individuality. She is eager to augment herself in new ways to make herself more machine.

• Six retains memories of her adult life as part of the resistance on Bajor. Some memories she has of being imprisoned and tortured by the Cardassians are repressed, containing incriminating details about the Cardassians' secret encounters with the Borg.

• Six not so secretly loves inflation and augmenting her body to grow bigger and rounder. She has a holodeck suite addiction that slowly develops into a side career as a holo-novel writer.

Lead Engineer - T’Luu

T'Luu is a female vulcan engineer. Stern and exacting, dislikes fun, pouts a lot, she has a twin sister T'Lix serving onboard the Ichabod as well.

• T'Luu suffers from a vulcan neurological condition that makes her Pon’Far monthly instead of yearly. She does her best to treat this condition and keep it secret from the rest of the crew, but ends up sleeping with multiple bridge crew members in a desperate need to mate.

• T'Luu aspires to join the prestigious Corps of Engineers in Starfleet, becoming a warp drive specialist that helps to push warp core technology forward for the Federation. Unfortunately, while she is a good engineer, she is very impatient and prone to making mistakes.

• T'Luu is overly protective of her twin sister, despite being jealous of the ease with which she acclimatizes to other species' emotions.

Medical Officer - T’Lix

T'Lix is a female vulcan and T’Luu’s twin sister. She's softer, sweeter, and more emotionally expressive than her sister, but only slightly. She joined Starfleet when her sister did.

• T'Lix is fond of medically experimenting on her crew whenever she gets the chance. She is a scientist at heart, but her morals are incredibly flexible. She has a wonderful bedside manner, but is quick to persuade or coerce crew members into taking part in her outlandish medical trials.

• T'Lix has very little in the way of a self preservation instinct, urging her to take risks that might advance science, even if they're dangerous to herself. As such, her twin sister T'Luu is overly protective of her.

• Secretly...T'Lix is a Romulan. She is a sleeper agent of the Tal Shiar, medically modified to appear vulcan. She was placed alongside T'Luu as a baby, and given secret instructions by their adoptive mother, another Romulan in disguise, undercover within the Federation. Aboard the Ichabod, she's laying in wait to sabotage the ship once she comes across something of absolute importance to the Romulan Star Empire.

Counsellor - Beema Sul

Beema is a female caitian whose purrs soothe her patients. She has been tasked with keeping the disparate and somewhat volatile crew combination of the Ichabod together.

• Beema is soft and full figured, with a laid back and tranquil manner about her. Though she has a seat on the bridge, she is also just as often found in her office, where she conducts therapy with the crew.

• Beema is originally placed on the Ichabod to report directly back to Starfleet about the ship's ongoing mission, which many in Starfleet see as frivolous. However, Beema has a dubious attitude towards Starfleet and the Federation in particular, and is quick to dismiss many of their long held principles if they get in the way of her own pragmatism.

• Beema is a gourmand. She is addicted to cheese and cheese tasting, and looks for any opportunity to host a banquet, feast, or pot luck aboard the ship. Romantically, she has a strong connection with Captain Gobbo.

Only Going Forward, Still Can't Find Reverse

I have loads more written about these space goobers. Star Trek is a rotating special interest of mine, and for a three week period every year, I add a little bit more to this hodge podge of ideas.

Except now you're in on it, my pretties. All of you patrons have gotten to see my secret shame.

So what do you think?

Do you want to hear more about this crew, and maybe what a whole seven seasons of TV with this crew might look like? I've got a ton of tweet-sized episode synopsis already written, ala TNG Season 8 on Twitter.

Who do you think would pair up well with who?

Let me know down in the comments. And the best way to show you want to see more of this is to become a paid member! I could see these kinds of posts being an occasional thing I post to Imp Tier and above~