February 2021 AMA Stream (Part 1)

I guess there is a small proportion of people who categorise people either as predatory or as prey.. According to this notion there is no real room between beeing the too-aggressive-type-of-woman or the objectified-type-of-woman. In really bad cases probably one can be seen as both.. On the risk of sounding arrogant: I think there is something immature about this perspective..

I feel there might be different factors at work. One factor is probably related on the degree on which a person is classified as maskuline. But I feel there is an additional factor for late-closet-leavers. I was always classified female and I collected many experiences of being rejected for how I wanted to relate to women before (why does no girl wants to be my best, best friend ... why do they always leave when "the friendship" starts to get meaningful? - there can be real tragedy around this topic - and it can also be morbidly funny to look back at situations and realise situation by situation what was going on :D ). When I look back at it now, I assume that I was rejected because of poor choices due to a lack of insight about my wishes and dreams and how they differ. On an emotional level I can't help feeling predatory after what I wanted was often more than what I could get. I observe how I shy back from women now, even when I get positive signals - just because I am used to the experience that certain feelings of mine were not welcome.

That's interesting because the lesbian (assumed cis here) as predator is a pretty common trope. I spent a lot of my youth hyper aware of it and frightened of being thought predatory if I ever showed attraction outwardly. Could be a generational thing maybe?

Bailey Spencer

Hey Gorg' The emotional transitions from my usual AMA stream envy to the whimsical parasocial flirtiness to wanting to give you a hug to remembering my first hit at 19 could be directed my Michael Bay! What an emotional rollercoaster ride this month!

Lexi Orchard (aka needmoreloot)

I'm a transman who mostly dates women and previously identified as a lesbian pretransition. I actually did get hit with being perceived as predatory a couple times back in those days, so that's interesting to hear! I guess it goes to show experiences aren't universal even within queer subgroups.

Logan Rand

I’m a cis lesbian who has enjoyed open expression of attraction to women and a sort of privilege of being viewed as non-predatory even in flagrant celebration of my attraction. At most it’s seen as distasteful or impolite. I didn’t think about that experience in contrast to other lesbian experiences much until tonight. Thanks for your content!

Yeah tbh I feel like tryin to answer these all in one go would be exhausting and frustrating for anybody

This is probably the best way to do these, tbh

Jessica Cheeri

A valiant effort at representing the shorthand of usual in text

Hellvetika

Hey all, as ush I got about halfway through the questions before getting tired and playing a game. Will finish the questions on a second stream sometime this week!

ContraPoints

..."goose steped down the isle at your wedding" :D omg