Victory Tour (Part 252)

I thought about the topics discussed at the club as I drove back to Arlene's. The thought of marrying one of my girlfriends wasn't distasteful, I just wasn't looking for that to happen until I was at least 21, maybe a little older. Like 25. Or even 30.

At least a few of them — like Erin, Marie and Jo — admitted they shouldn't be my wife, while Karen and Kacie couldn't be because of the law. And there were the ones I simply hadn't spent enough time with to know them that well — Lupita, Riley, Bonnie, Sherry, Elise, Ny'Quesha. The fact I'd fucked three of those six now (and looked forward to a chance at the rest) only complicated matters.

Probably oughta include Midori in that group. I couldn't be lucky enough to have her grandfather disapprove of me even if I was a gaijin.

That still left me with a good half dozen candidates.

Morgan, obviously. She was my first official girlfriend, after all. She was also the one who'd made my current predicament possible by allowing other girls to join the fun over the summer. And her parents weren't exactly thrilled with me for boinking their little princess, even though she'd been the instigator.

Arlene had given me so much, teaching me how to please a woman and helping me develop a sense of fashion. Her getting me into modeling indirectly led to my financial situation. The payoff Marie funneled to me and what it was expected to earn from Mr. Patterson's investment groups would be enough to carry me until my trust fund kicked in. The payoff from Zander's boyfriend blew all that out of the water. Finding the cartel's stash never would have happened without her.

Sure, there was the age difference and the fact the redheaded goddess was still married on paper, but we just seemed to click in a way I was only beginning to approach with the others. And she was apparently determined to keep me.

Jan and Bethany were both free of entanglements, but there was the whole mother-daughter dynamic they'd acknowledged going on there. And a relationship with Jan faced the same age issues I faced with Arlene. Beth wasn't quite as flighty as she'd been when we first went out back over the summer, but she, like the other high school girls, was still a work in progress.

Staci might be as good a fit as any of them. The start of our relationship may have been a little unusual, but she was a nice girl and had quickly fit in with the others. It was still hard to believe I was dating a cheerleader. Those girls never would have given me the time of day a year ago.

Her father was definitely a key part of the equation. The rich and powerful man could easily have me removed from the scene if he didn't force me to marry her. I could only hope he'd make enough off managing my billions to cut me some slack.

And then there was Marie. Even though she'd turned me down the one time I'd broached the subject, she still had a hold on me. She was the first of my lovers to try to get pregnant by me, I just wished I'd known what was going on at the time. Getting her away from Julia had been a step in the right direction and she would soon be financially secure enough to live on her own, but she still needed someone to take care of her. I couldn't just cast her aside.

There were also matters I'd wanted to discuss that we hadn't gotten around to. What to do with Jo and Lupita were the main ones. I had no idea if they would move into the convent, stay at Arlene's or what. I guess I could offer them rooms at the Osborne house, but I needed to see what Karen thought about it first.

And I really needed to cut back on the wild fuckfests at least through the end of football. Friday had taken a lot out of me. I never thought I'd play all but a couple of offensive snaps, then take Jo around the world within a few hours. Good thing the Badgers were so awful. Taking Elise twice last night hadn't been the wisest decision, but she was another one I found hard to resist. Surprised I held out as long as I had with her, to be honest.

The girls definitely would not be happy with me if I just cut them off for up to six weeks. Maybe I should find another house to buy and not tell them about it. A little two-bedroom shack in a working-class neighborhood would do. I just needed a place to hide until things calmed down.

As I turned toward Arlene's house, I noticed a marked law enforcement presence for a Sunday. And it wasn't local police. I counted at least six state troopers patrolling the area before I turned onto the redhead's street. I don't think we had more than three assigned to the county. And, anyway, shouldn't those guys be patrolling state highways instead of residential streets within the city limits?

Pulling into the driveway, I let the ladies out before parking the Jag in the garage. I was more than willing to get such a chariot for myself. They were such smooth rides.

"You'd better get to your house," Arlene said as I checked with them before departing. "I get the feeling your grandfather won't appreciate being kept waiting."

"Yes, ma'am," I said, collecting smooches from the two goddesses. "If I don't see you again today, have a good trip. I'll keep an eye on the place for you."

"Get going," Jan said after pulling her tongue out of my mouth. "Millie and Meredith are already on their way. They won't appreciate being kept waiting, either."

"Yes, ma'am," I repeated, reluctantly turning toward my new abode.

I noticed the apartment was empty as I made my way to the alley. Marie, Jo and Lupita must not have gotten back from the club yet, which was pretty much confirmed by Marie's parking spot being vacant when I took a few more steps.

Letting myself in through the back gate, I entered the house through the back door and headed straight to the office. May as well get started on my reading.

Using my phone as a hotspot, I called up the website Karen had given me Thursday and got started. There was a lot of stuff about the background of "Hamlet" and how similar tales could be found from many different parts of the world — Italy, Spain, Scandinavia, Byzantium, Arabia — and that the core "hero-as-fool" theme is possibly of Indo-European origin.

Some Danish dude named Saxo Grammaticus wrote "Vita Amlethi" (Life of Amleth) in Latin back in the 13th-century. That was translated into French in 1570 by a guy named François de Belleforest. Both versions contained a lot of the same elements — the prince feigning madness, his mother's hasty marriage to the usurper, the prince killing a hidden spy, the prince substituting the execution of two retainers for his own — that Bill included in his version.

Just as I was getting into the whole Elsinore/Helsingør deal, the doorbell started ringing. Repeatedly. Accompanied by someone pounding on the door. Rather forcefully.

I think Grandpa was here.

"Just a sec," I called out, heading thataway.

The racket continued and possibly intensified until I pulled the door open. At least my grandfather didn't appear too perturbed at being forced to wait for something like five seconds. I've seen news items proclaiming that my generation's reliance on/addiction to technology made us expect/demand instant gratification. Grandpa showed some of the same signs and he could barely operate a smartphone. Must be because he had "and the horse you rode in on" money.

"Broughtcha a little somethin,'" Grandpa said as he stepped inside, allowing me to see he was accompanied by Dad, Mr. Patterson and Dr. Ensberry.

Moving out of the way to let them in showed Jed's pickup parked at the curb with my buddy, his dad and Marvin Johnson maneuvering a rather large box out of the bed. The thing looked to be at least six or seven feet long and three or four feet high, but not very thick. The way Mr. Richards let Jed and Marv handle things indicated to me that it wasn't exceptionally heavy, but I was in no hurry to offer assistance.

The other men headed straight to the kitchen. I noticed Dad and Mr. Patterson carried little brown paper bags that appeared just big enough for a bottle of Jack, while Dr. Ensberry had a grocery sack that may have contained a couple of sixpacks. Better make sure they took it all with them when they left. I did not need Coach Tucker thinking I had a stash of booze.

"Got any ice in here, boy?" Grandpa called out.

"Try the dispenser on the fridge door," I called back, holding the storm door open for the three making their way up the walk.

I had to move again as Jed, walking backward, and Marv carried the box to the entry. At least now I could see the labeling on the box — an 86-inch flatscreen smart TV! That was way bigger than I'd envisioned purchasing myself. I would've been happy with something in the 30-inch range. I could only imagine how much it cost.

"Where ya want this, dude?" Jed asked as he backed through the doorway.

"I guess over there against that west wall," I said, pointing the way. "We can watch from the couch."

As the two burly dudes carried their burden to the assigned spot, Mr. Richards came in carrying another paper sack that did not appear to contain a bottle of whiskey.

"Got cable in here?" the lawyer asked. "Thought ya might need some co-ax."

"I really don't know," I said. "I wasn't expecting to have a TV yet. I didn't think we'd get utilities transferred until after closing on the house."

Marv and Jed set the box down on the carpet and the bodyguard whipped out a wicked looking knife with which to open it. Mr. Richards tossed the bag he carried on the couch and continued toward the kitchen, from which I could hear the sound of the ice dispenser dispensing ice into some kind of container. The way it clunked instead of clinked told me the container was plastic, not one of Mr. Patterson's fancy glasses.

"I'm afraid I don't have much to offer you," I said, stepping to the kitchen entrance.

"Which is why we brought our own refreshments, young man," Mr. Patterson said, accepting a can of Coke from Dr. Ensberry. "The others are bringing more supplies."

"The others?" I asked just as the doorbell rang again.

"You'd better get that," Dad smirked knowingly, taking the Coke can from Mr. Patterson.

Hurrying to the door lest someone else be forced to wait, I opened it to reveal two burly state troopers in neatly pressed uniforms and mirrored aviator shades. Behind them, I saw a fancy SUV with the distinctive skunk-stripe paint scheme pull into the driveway as two highway patrol cars blocked the street.

"Yes, sir?" I stammered, wondering just what I could have done to deserve their attention.

"Is Lt. Marvin Johnson present?" one of them asked.

"Right here," Marv called out. "Gimme a sec to check upstairs. You got any other guests in here, Robinson?"

"Not that I'm aware," I said. "They should all be in the kitchen."

As Marv hustled up the stairs, the trooper who'd spoken stepped past me while the other stayed on the front step, like he was blocking my escape route or something. The first trooper looked in the kitchen, exchanging greetings with the five men there, then the office.

"What's down this hall?" he asked.

"The master suite and the entrance to the garage," I said, still wondering what was going on. I guess if I was in real trouble, Dad or someone would have informed me by now.

The trooper returned to the living room just as Marv came downstairs.

"All clear," Marv said, causing the trooper to nod at his partner, who turned and waved at the fancy SUV.

"I should probably go move my truck," Jed said.

"Not a bad idea," the first trooper grunted. "Just wait until they're all inside."

I continued holding the door as the other trooper stepped back to clear the way and another fancy SUV, this one solid black with no decals on the doors, pulled into the driveway. Another burly state trooper opened a passenger door on the first vehicle and the recently reelected governor of our state stepped out.

What the fuck was he doing here?!?!?!

I guess that explained the presence of so many troopers in the area, though.

Then Gen. Rackham exited the other vehicle, accompanied by one of the Tri-Star guys who'd given me shit last weekend at Lineshack.

I think my new house may have been the most secure location in the state at the moment. Hell, why not invite the president and the Secret Service, too?

"Governor, General," I sputtered as they reached the steps. "Please, come in."

"I hear you saved the Mighty Blue's bacon again Friday night," the governor smirked as he entered.

"More like Coach Tucker offered him up as a sacrifice to keep the starters healthy," Marv snorted. "He's just real good at gettin' outta the away."

"Not that good," the second trooper grunted, noting my sling.

"Late hit," I said. "I was already down."

Mr. Patterson exited the kitchen to welcome the governor and put a drink in his hand. Grandpa did the same for Gen. Rackham and the four quickly claimed seats on the couch before anyone else could come up with the idea. So I had Grandpa, George, the general and the governor in my living room. Call it The G Squad Plus.

"To what do I owe the honor, gentlemen?" I asked as I moved toward Jed and Marv to see if I could help unbox the TV, or at least get a better look at it.

"Just taking a few days off after the election," the governor said. "It's always nice to get out of the capitol when I can. George invited me to watch football this afternoon."

Then why the hell are you here instead of Mr. Patterson's mancave? God, I better not've said that out loud.

"Carole thought we should get out of the house while she entertains the First Lady and recommended I have a look at your new digs," Mr. Patterson said as if he'd read my mind — please, God, it's bad enough women can do that. "She seemed rather impressed after visiting yesterday. I must say, it's much roomier than your secret hideaway."

"Secret hideaway?" the governor queried curiously.

"Garage apartment across the way at Mrs. Jenson's," Grandpa grunted. "It's where he takes his girlfriends instead of the local makeout spots."

"That's girlfriends plural," the governor stated just to make sure.

"Surprised we didn't find a few of ’em, like my daughter, already taking up residence here," Dr. Ensberry said.

"Or my daughter," Mr. Patterson added with a savage grin, "but she lives within walking distance."

"Just evidence one visited very recently," Marv added, appearing to enjoy my discomfiture. "Shoulda put those sheets in the washer when he was done."

"Maybe he does have what it takes to hold office," the governor mused.

"My family's had horse thieves, cattle rustlers, bank robbers and all sorts of crooks," Grandpa spat derisively, "but we ain't never had no politicians and better not while I'm still alive."

The front door opened again before anyone else could pile on and a couple of Tri-Star guys entered with pans that looked suspiciously like the ones I carried out of Cookshack yesterday. It took me a moment to realize Lanny, the burly computer geek, was one of them.

"Food's here!" Mr. Richards exclaimed, sounding eerily like Jed and prompting the others not on the couch to line up behind him.

"You got any more chairs in this place?" Dad asked.

"A few," I said, turning toward the office.

I dragged five of the six chairs to the doorway, leaving the one I was using at the desk. Dad pulled them into the living room, setting up a couple for watching TV and taking the others to the dining table.

While most of the men hit the table, I finally got over to help Jed and Marv with the TV. They had it out of the box and were putting together a little plastic stand to hold it. A little coffee table or something similar would be needed to hold it up higher. One more item to add to the shopping list.

Better tell Grandma.

After setting it all on the floor, Jed turned the box on its open end and started shaking it. A power cord, all coiled up and wrapped in plastic, a little rectangular box and a booklet fell out.

"Here we go," my buddy grinned as he scooped up the little box. "The remote! Wanna plug it in, dude? Let's get this thing fired up!"

I leaned down and snagged the cord, which I stuffed in the sling, and the booklet, which turned out to be the owner's manual. Flipping a couple of pages showed me a diagram with all the parts labeled, including a row of control buttons just in case I didn't feel like using the remote. Or lost it, which would be more likely.

The socket for the cord was on the left side of the panel, which just happened to be fairly close to an electric outlet on the wall. Right beside the outlet was a cable connection, so I had Mr. Patterson toss me the sack Mr. Richards had put on the couch. I got things connected while Jed tore open the box with the remote and Marv hurried to the table before the other men wiped out the goodies. Or his wife showed up to ruin his fun. Either occurrence would be undesirable.

"Y'all didn't bring any cobbler?" he asked with a hint of disappointment as he looked over the options.

"I'm afraid you'll have to make do with buttermilk chess pie, Lieutenant," the general said. "It comes highly recommended by Mrs. Robinson."

"I'll just make do, then," Marv said.

"Good, they included batteries," Jed said, getting the remote unwrapped. "It takes two triple-A's, dude."

Another item for the shopping list. In fact, I should probably just get a variety of sizes to keep on hand — AAA, AA, 9-volt. There was always a need for batteries. Keep ’em in a kitchen drawer for convenience.

With everything seemingly ready, Jed stepped back, pointed the remote at the screen and hit the power button ... and got a blank blue screen.

"Lanny!" the general barked.

"On it, sir," Lanny said, hurrying over from the dining table. "Here, guys, lemme take a look."

Lanny took the remote from Jed and the manual from me, flipped through the booklet and looked at the buttons on the remote.

"Thought so," he said, repeating Jed's actions and getting some kind of setup screen.

A few more buttons were pushed and the screen suddenly started cycling through every channel the local cable system had, even the premium ones. It took a little time.

"As one of my old sergeants liked to remind me, it pays to read the instructions first, big fella," Lanny smirked as he tossed Jed the manual. "Helluva lot easier than some of the missile systems I used to work on."

"I'll take that," Grandpa said, holding out a hand for the remote, which Lanny quickly surrendered on his way back to the table.

My grandfather tuned to a network affiliate showing a game. I was tempted to ask Lanny if he could get us picture-in-a-picture so we could have two games on at once.

"I'd better go move my truck," Jed said, tossing me the manual.

"While you're at it," I said, tucking the manual in the sling and pulling out my wallet, "mind runnin' to the store and gettin' somethin' we can drink? All I feel safe with right now is tap water. A couple gallons of tea oughta get us through the day."

"We're playin' the primetime game tonight, dude," he reminded me.

"Then three or four gallons," I said, grabbing a Jackson instead of the Hamilton I intended to spend. "Maybe a couple of two-liter bottles of soda."

"Make it something we can use for mixers," Mr. Richards said as his son snatched the bill I held out. "Coke or Sprite or 7-Up. We've already used half of what we brought."

As Jed headed for the door, the G squad Plus decided it was time to check the contents of the pans the Tri-Star guys and state troopers, who had removed the mirrored shades, were emptying.

"I expect our spots to still be here when we get back," Grandpa growled at me.

Like I would dare poach a seat from one of them. The governor, the rich and powerful man who got him elected (and hadn't offed me for despoiling his precious treasure), the head of the security firm I'd paid $1 billion to keep cartelistas away from me and my grandfather. I knew where I ranked in that food chain — fifth if I was lucky, maybe not even the top 10.

"I've got some reading to do for school, anyway," I smiled, returning to the office. "Keep it to a dull roar, please."

I spent the next hour or so finishing up the stuff on "Hamlet," the assignment for Economics (I really could've used Chuck for that), and Western Civ. We were supposed to get into the first Ottoman Siege of Vienna (the 1529 one, the one with Suleiman the Magnificent). Better touch base with Mrs. Edwards tomorrow. And Dr. Robinson.

Satisfied I had enough of a handle on things to at least get started on Monday, I shut things down and went to get a drink. Even tap water would work, but Jed should be back by now.