Chapter 184: Dreaming of Dragons

I agree with all the previous comments regarding the significant and persistent incorrect POV pronouns (us/we <-> them/they). I highly recommend a grammar/writing tool like Grammarly for a final edit before posting. Write how you have been, but take an hour before posting and review all the error correction recommendations your choice of grammar/edit tool highlights. I use Grammarly, and many of these issues are quickly and easily identified, and better options are provided. If something it flags is an intentional writing choice, you can always leave/ignore it, but at least you know it may be a point of reading difficulty. If you decide to use Grammarly, even the free version will catch many errors/issues plaguing your writing. I can attest that with time and use, many of the mistakes in my writing have diminished, and the analytical/editorial side has gotten better at supplying the correct grammatical structure, word choice, or punctuation element without an error being highlighted. On the flip side, it hasn't done anything for my creative side... but then, it's not a creative tool so... :shrug: Anyway, I continue enjoying your story's outline and plot progression and always look forward to uncovering what each chapter contains.

Dnulho

This needs to be rewritten. Makes no sense for them to just come back together 3 times for the same thing with no differences in approach. Like where is the carrot and the stick? For the representatives of the 2 main parties, they should definitely be there with more than just empty offers with no concrete benefits right now. Where are their "Guards" who are secretly assassins or kidnappers? Where are the valuable resources that they would think would entice the family, but that the family may not actually need because the nobles underestimated them and already have something similar? Like I agree with them staying neutral for now and the route your going with the journals from them, but there needs to be actual bargaining and negotiations, some kind of process that leads to the neutrality other than just saying "Join my side or be destroyed!" and being told no like 6 times.

PlasmaticPi

I hate to say this because I've been excitedly supporting the story for a long time now.. The quality seems to be getting worse as the story progresses. This chapter particularly feels like it was written by chatgpt. Its progressed into mostly telling us instead of showing lately. The characters feel flat, the progression forced. I feel like I'm reading an outline for a story, not an actual draft. I would much prefer fewer chapters, with more effort put in. Though, I understand that's hard with real life and the demands of constant chapter uploads that patreon and royalroad have. Apologies for the critique, I hope it's useful feedback. Your earlier chapters were much better written and I'd love to see a return to that, even if it is a chapter a week or two.

Couple of times you got a "we" that should be a "they"

Allanther

This chapter felt very off.

blackwar789

Good chapter, but it has tons of pronoun troubles... seems like every 2nd possessive pronoun is backwards (our &lt;-&gt; their)

Mike G.

This is the inspiration for the next chapter. TBC Chapter 185: Hatching “It simply isn’t an adventure worth telling if there aren’t any dragons.” J.R.R. Tolkien

Notlimah

Parents got flooded this week, which means a lot of cleaning. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-65542028 Carpets and flooring have all been ripped up to be replaced etc. "Chapter 183, it never rains, but it pours," was worryingly accurate, with flash floods arriving less than 48 hours later on May 9th. I've tried rewriting 184, but it's been a stressful week, and in the end, I've just posted what I have and deleted the next chapter to start afresh on it. I will not be offended by the critique on this one. It was written in many parts. Thoughts and comments are always welcome. But I might avoid weather-based titles for a while.

Notlimah