Disintegrity 20 + 96 remade !
Added 2019-06-21 01:40:14 +0000 UTCPage 20 was one I never had a real problem with. It's fine. The only panel that really needed an overhaul was the first one, where to make it dramatic as can be I thought "I'll just hide his face with darkness !" but it comes across as an unnatural big splotch of black rather than a result of the lighting of the scene.
Otherwise there's nothing special to the changes. I guess I darkened the face in the last panel is as drastic as it gets. I think it looks better, I'm not sure if that panel still implies the acceleration of the action effectively but fakkit.
96 was a quick one, which I don't think will come as a surprise since there's only one real panel. But that pose was completely redrawn anyway ! I got nothing special to say again, except that it seems I had forgotten to draw Zee's tail in the old page. Okay ! Gonne go to sleep now...
Comments
The bigger problem would be how the last panel of page 20 and the first panel of 21 don't really flow very well. But again, didn't feel like fixing it...
RodVonBoche
2019-06-21 22:45:58 +0000 UTCYou're right ! I had noticed while redrawing the page but it's not unexplainable : it could be assumed that he just grips the pipe differently in between panels. I didn't feel like adding a panel just to make the transition smoother cos it's just not that important, nor did I feel like modifying the pose to make the transition smoother because the dynamic of the page would be lost. Basically, I just thought it wasn't worth the effort fixing it.
RodVonBoche
2019-06-21 22:44:11 +0000 UTCErrm, may I point out something? In the third panel Larsen holds that piece of pipe in his right hand. In the last panel we see him smash that pipe into his right hand, thus we have to assume that he holds it in his left hand now. Also that bended end of the pipe has switched sides: Far end seen from the right hand in panel 3, near end in panel 4. The next pages are then consistent with panel 4: Larsen holds the pipe in his left hand, bended end on the far side. Page 19, by the way, shows Larsen holding the pipe in his right hand, bended part on the far side. Seems like the scene got mirrored in the middle of page 20. Allright, I'm a nitpicker ;-) In movies I think something like this is called "continuity error" :-)
Eldkatten
2019-06-21 07:20:20 +0000 UTCGreat work! I much appreciate that you redo even pages that don't change so much in the process. I re-read a version of "Disintegrity" from time to time, where I replace the old versions of the pages with the new ones as they come, and the old versions start to appear "strange" inside the flow of the new versions. Thus it's nice to maybe have them all (even p. 54, which I'm waiting for *blush*) redone some time in the future, so the story will be "whole" again. Oh, and "no Zee-tail" indeed, didn't see that :-D
Eldkatten
2019-06-21 07:06:47 +0000 UTC
