Tier 3+ Story 📜🎩 T H E ☆ M A G I C I A N - Act 29

Content (for the whole story): original content, w/w(?), asexuality/demisexuality, cryptid (?) pregnancy, nb(?)preg, sexual & kink awakening, stuffing, nausea, gender ambiguity, birth, transphobia, dysphoria, depression & suicidal thoughts, parental conflicts, use of alcohol and other drugs, demons, religions & mythology (diverse), cursing, belly focus

▶ Read all from the start
Part I Acts: 1-3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 l 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19
Part II Acts: 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 28½ |

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T H E  ☆  M A G I C I A N

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Act 29

Mel

After a good night’s sleep, and in spite of him waking up twice to eat some snacks in a trancelike state, Mel woke up refreshed and energized, ready to face the long journey that laid ahead of him. He still felt tiny needles of pain flashing through his heart whenever he thought too much about… certain things, but newfound hope and excitement thankfully and surprisingly overshadowed that pain quickly. As if something was cuing his subconscious what to do.

He took a quick shower. His belly was noticeably thinner today, but still not flat, and his navel felt a little strange. He brushed his teeth, styled his hair, put on two pairs of shape underwear again and got himself dressed.

When he entered the main room, the snake was completely curled up on the bed, but unlike the physical form it had taken last night, it was much more regularly sized. Small even, maybe. It raised its little head and blinked at him with sleepy eyes.

“Somebody seems to be in a good mood,” it said out loud, outside his head, but without moving its mouth. It still spoke in Dutch.

“I’m motivated, yes. Demons need sleep?” Mel answered.

The snake yawned and hid its face somewhere between its coils. “No. But I do enjoy it, and I’d like to enjoy it a little more.”

“Got it,” Mel said and opened up the mini bar to take out some food that needed cooling. He prepared himself a couple of sandwiches and a Hagelslag bread, his favorite dish: white bread with butter and chocolate sprinkles. While doing so, he opened and closed some portals around the room. Though hard to pinpoint the exact position where they should activate, he continued to improve his spellcasting. They felt even stronger today, more stable and activated for longer.

After he trained for a good while, the demon’s voice resounded in his head again.

You’re getting better, such a diligent student. Good boy.

Mel swallowed a piece of apple he had just chowed down on and said, “Thank you, Lusje. It's quite fun, too.”

Staying on the bed, the snake slithered a bit closer and watched him popping portals in and out of existence.

What’s up with that “Lusje” thing tho? it asked.

“It’s a nickname. Never heard of the concept?”

Duh. Sure. But people usually go for “master” or “your highness,” or at least “Lucy” or something.

“Well, you said it yourself: I’m odd, I guess. Don’t you like it?”

I didn’t say that, the snake mumbled and proceeded to watch him silently.

Mel thought about addressing last night, or yesterday in general. Or at least addressing some of his questions, but doing so wouldn’t change much. It felt awkward to do so. He also didn’t want Lusje to downtalk things, or depose them from their meaning. So instead he said nothing and continued training.

Okay kiddo, let’s begin with building up your brand today, the snake started its lecture. I thought about somethin’ with loads of explosions -

“I actually thought of something, already.”

The snake blinked at him, a little outmaneuvered. Eh… sure. Go ahead, share.

“I like old things a lot.”

I’m old.

Mel laughed. “I mean, like… things that shaped our current modern time. The first refrigerators, first movies, first records and their reflecting music genres, the first commercial cars, the start of modern stage magic… These things mean a lot to me. And I thought I could reflect that in my, uhm, ‘branding,’ as you call it.”

Oh, good! Very, very good!, the demon commented, to his surprise. That would suit you well, especially with your young, spick-and-span shape and face in this day and age. You can make all of your stage props old fashioned, too. You could even wear a top hat!

“Really, you think so?” Mel asked whimsically, his face a little flushed, “Wouldn’t that be too much?”

Who fucking cares! If you’d like that, wear it! Unglue yourself from trends and modern demands!

“Maybe I could wear bow ties, too…”

Well, okay, let’s maybe not go too far.

Mel laughed. “I like them. Always wanted to wear them.”

Alright, alright. A little lapse of taste might be charming. We’ll go shopping and see what we’ll find.

“I also thought about integrating snake symbols in my clothing and props.”

The demon stared at him. Mel wasn’t completely sure, since snake’s aren’t capable of it, but it almost looked like it was blushing. Lusje frequently displayed behavior that actual snakes would not do, though.

“I just thought… because we’re stuck together, and I often have a snake tattoo now, that it would fit,” Mel added.

Yeah, sure.

The snake coughed and tried to make it sound cool, but Mel was able to hear the excitement. It quickly added, Now that we have a clear direction, let’s talk about your gender.

Mel paused, taken by surprise. An unpleasant feeling rose in his chest, a lump formed in his throat. Without realizing it, he started to breathe quicker, almost hyperventilating.

Lusje seemed to notice.

Hey, calm down, boy. All good.

“Please just say what you want to say, except if it’s that I should go back to my ‘real’ name and -”

Kid. Stop.

Within the blink of an eye the snake was giant again, towering over him, even somewhat cornering him. In different situations it would’ve been threatening, but it had a different effect on Mel right now. One that was hard to put into words.
It forced him to focus on the outside, away from his feelings.

I’m with you, ok? I will not pressure you into anything. Every name you give yourself is your real name.

Looking up to the demon, Mel started to relax a bit.

Good kid.

The snake lowered its upper body so that they were on an even level. I know humans can be cruel with their concept of gender and sexism. There are many animals out there who are much further along, while the stupid fucking homo sapiens are going backwards at times. People carried such an open mind thousands of years ago; it was common practice in many countries, in ancient times, to change your gender, have a third one or be without one. And personally, I don’t give a flying fuck about it. I hate everyone equally.

Mel took some deep breaths and unclenched his hands.

“What … what did you want to talk about, then?”

I can change your reproductive system, if you want. Spare you the surgeries.

Silence. Mel stared at the demon, speechless.

Right here, right now. It would hurt like shit, but I could do it.

“I … I don’t know what to say. I-I’ve…. I haven’t thought about it in a while.”

Talk to me, then. Why not? Share your thoughts.

“I … I don’t want to.”

The snake lowered its upper body even more, looking at him from below now. It looked almost cute.

Why not?

“Because I’m embarrassed.”

Why is that?

“I - I feel like a fraud.”

Why?

Mel wheezed angrily while straightening his back. “Why are you so pushy all of a sudden? Can’t you see that I don’t want to talk about it?”

Because I think you need it.

“You’re overstepping.”

I’m your personal demon. My whole existence is overstepping. Now, talk.

“No.”

Talk, boy.

“No!”

I can’t help you if -

“Because I don’t feel like I really want to be a man, okay?! I’m a horrible person! An imposter! I hurt my parents and made them go through hell, and for what? So that i stop my transition process right after I changed my name? So that I cancel my surgeries at the last possible moment? I was torturing them for nothing.”

The silence that followed uncomfortably stuffed the room, catching Mel’s embarrassed words in the air and sticking them to the walls.

He’d never told anyone about it. Neither his friends, nor his old therapist, nor anybody else. He hadn’t even thought about it properly himself yet. These words existed only as unshaped, hidden emotions for so long, not as clear thoughts.

They felt nasty. He wanted those feelings to be gone, to be covered again.

After a long pause the demon said, Okay, there’s a lot to unpack, kiddo. Uncomfortable truths. But you have to hear it. First off, your parents didn’t go through hell because of you. Don’t be such an arrogant little fuck. I make people go through hell, you made your stupid, self-centered parents take a stroll through the park while it rains. Stop treating yourself like the worst guy in history, when you’re actually the most sickeningly kind person.

Mel huffed.

Yesterday, you seemed pretty determined when your producer wanted you to go back to your birth name.

“Yeah, but … that … “

So, are you a woman?

“No!”

But also not a man?

Mel felt tears forming in his eyes, out of anger, desperation, and self-hate.

“Stop trying to make me choose,” he begged.

You misunderstand me. I am not.

“What are you trying to do, then?”

I want you to realize exactly that.

“What, that I’m neither a man nor a woman?”

Yes.

“That’s stupid.”

The snake began to laugh.

You poor child. Fighting battles you don’t need to fight. A Don Quijote against windmills.

“Stop … stop the cryptic talk.”

I’m just saying that you’re struggling so much because of the boundaries you set for yourself. Well, to be fair, society brainwashed you into that.

“But that’s just how things are. People wouldn’t be able to understand. We don’t even have pronouns for … these kind of people, and -”

Seriously, Mel, fuck people. They don’t need to understand. You need to. You have to be comfortable with yourself. You don’t need their approval, and you don’t need their correct, respectful terms of address. Once you wrap your head around that, other people's opinions won't hurt you anymore, and you will impact them subliminally. You’ll basically force them into accepting you, if they want to be close.

“I... I don’t know what you mean.”

It’s easy. Let me ask you one question. What gender am I?

Mel looked at the snake, surprised. “You are a demon. A snake.”

Snakes have genders, don’t they? So, what am I to you? Male or female?

The room went silent again while Mel was watching Lusje, pondering.

Noticin’ somethin’?

“I can’t tell what you might be.”

Exactly. Because I’m neither and all. You wanna see me as male? Fine by me. I’m a cute sexy she-snake to you? Who fucking cares. Prefer me as a genderless, divine being? Yup, alright. Me not giving a fuck made you not give a fuck.

“No, but… but you’re not humanoid. That made it easy.”

Now you’re lying to yourself. If you’d see an ownerless dog doing somethin’ nice, would you call it a ‘good boy’?

“Maybe, I don’t know”

Would you refer to it as a ‘good girl’?

Mel thought about it. He might be calling a random dog a ‘good boy’, but never a ‘good girl’, unless it was confirmed by its owner.

See. Borders in your head. You’re in so deep. But don’t worry, that’s normal and can be unlearned, as you can see with me.

“So … I can be like you?”

Of course. Believe it or not, there are more people like you out there, hiding. Always have been. And believe me, it’ll get better again in the future. Your language will have many cute little words for it. But, even if not: break the binaries, fuck with people’s heads. Do whatever you want. Be both, be neither. Change it from time to time. Be your own gender. The only thing important to me is that you don’t hate yourself for what you are, who you are.

The tears that had built up in Mel’s eyes were now overflowing. Not because of any negative feelings, but relief. For the first time in his life, Mel felt truly seen.

He gently touched the snake's head. Even though, in reality, the demon had only been part of his life a single day, it still felt like an eternity. Like he finally found a home within it.

“Thank you, Lusje,” he said, full of gratitude for this being who not only saved his life, but began to save his mind, too.

▶️ NEXT CHAPTER 

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Story written by RoseVirage
Proofreaders: Try!, xtrachubbybunny, Doombeez | Dutch Consultant: EN_NSFW  | Emotional Support Reader: Serialfiller1, xtrachubbybunny

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