The all-too-familiar pre-competition rituals—carb loading, endless posing, and, of course, fake gold tan, a full-on selfie spree—had Yana buzzing with adrenaline. Yeah, silver was nice, but let’s be real: second place is just the first loser. And now that she’d had a taste of victory, the prodigal mother of two wasn’t here to play. She wanted gold.
At least her physique had tightened up, thanks to a strict protein diet (shoutout to Kyle for that extra-special protein intake—ha). And Mei Lin’s questionable-but-effective miracle serum had done its job, rounding out her ass into something that might actually hold its own on stage. That gave her hope. Some hope. Because if she got robbed again by another silicone-stuffed fraud, she swore to God she’d start throwing dumbbells...