Let's talk.....
Added 2025-07-07 15:56:32 +0000 UTCSo, I've been thinking about doing a post like this for a while. Not for sympathy or attention, but just as a way of trying to process it.
6 months ago, I quit my full-time job. Since 2020, I had been doing GPBs and working full time. It was pretty full on, but I managed somehow.
Dec 2024 hits, and I leave my work of 10 years (as a retail manager). I felt pretty confident that with the extra time and motivation, I could make GPBs a success. At first, everything was great! I felt happy, motivated, and creative (was around this time Sora and Co was created)
However, fast forward 6 months later, and I've never felt more anxious, isolated, and frankly, alone.
Gone was my daily dose of humans, replaced by me, myself, and my desk. In was the constant checking of social media and seeking validation from others. Not only that, but my money worries are starting to bend me (as with all self-employed people, I suppose)
I'm at a point where I feel totally lost. I am unable to motivate myself to create new projects unless I force myself. Also, the constant barrage of failing metics and numbers depresses me daily. GPB's is falling into insignificance from my point of view.
Yes, taking a break would be advisable mental health wise, but it doesn't fix my concerns that I'm lost and without direction or my worries of being left behind by the algorithms
I depression as hit a point today where I can barely function beyond death scrolling. I know, tomorrow it'll be the same.
I keep asking myself, "Did I already peak?"Why do people support this?" and "What's the point when it appears no one cares?"
I dont have the answers, and it makes me feel worse.
Sorry to complain, but this is how Im feeling. Again, this isn't me trying to play my villion. I just need to acknowledge to myself that Im in a bad place.
Hopefully, the dawn will come soon. Thanks for reading (if you did)
Comments
Its hard to find like minded writers. I agree with what your saying tho. Id liked to have others around me like that
GenderPlay Books
2025-07-08 17:26:11 +0000 UTCI just want you to look after your self first. as much as we all love your art there is no Genderplay books with out your stories and art. so what I am trying to say is if you need time to your self then take it. most of us under stand that true art can not be made like most of the good we bye are in a heartless factory. Art needs inspiration and it needs to come from a feeling heart. so please look after your self.
Adam Penman
2025-07-08 17:11:47 +0000 UTCAs an artist who has been making art for about 60 years now, I totally understand where you are coming from. I never experienced the world of being an online artist whose entire support structure is web based, but I do know that for an artist to maintain a high level of creative enthusiasm they have to have input in order to have creative output. Your environment should stimulate your creativity, and it sounds like you have closed yourself off a bit. I went through something similar when I graduated from Graduate School (MFA in Painting/Drawing). Not only was I in an uber-supportive environment in school, but it was like everything around me was about creativity and art. When I graduated, I joined an artist collective that had a cool space in an old factory and held group shows and supported each other. Unfortunately, there was a fire that tore through the factory and destroyed most of the drawings and paintings I had stored there. I've never really recovered from that experience and my artistic output has never been the same. Fast forward many years to today, I recently retired from my job working in a university art department. Unfortunately, all of my friends were work friends and I rarely see them any more. Being retired, I have all the time in the world to make art and regretfully I rarely feel inspired to make art. I don't have anywhere near the level of support and inspiration that I had while working in the art department. Long story short...most artists cannot survive a solitary existence. You have to have emotional and intellectual stimuli, whether visual, auditory, or tactile. Your drive to create art can even benefit from less than positive interactions. I feel like you are making art that fills a need in our world, that's why I support your Patreon.
Rod
2025-07-07 20:18:15 +0000 UTC
