The Fluffer - Page 11 [Ink]

Proportions have been a constant struggle through this entire thing. I'm aware of it, but I'm not sure exactly what I can do about it besides "get better" so I'm jus doin' my best. Something about the tiny physical size I'm actually working at just makes it really hard to keep these things sorted out and they slip by until it's too late, heh. As always I'll just try and keep an eye out, but I'd expect the relative size of characters to keep drifting around a bit. :P For panel number four, it's the eyebrows. I slipped up a bit while inking them so they look a bit off. This one should hopefully be fixable. As for dialogue, that's why I keep trying to make it clear I'm not a writer. Honestly I'm surprised nobody has poked fun at my dialogue up until now, it's kinda bad overall if you ask me. x3 But that's to be expected, there's not much I can do about this either expect 'get better' again, so I'll try. That said, I think the "I got it" was misinterpreted, if I'm understanding what you're saying here. I probably should have separated the bubbles more so they look less like one thought, but the idea was Kyle is bending down to help move her and he's basically saying "don't even bother, you wouldn't really be helping." but in more polite words. Y'know. "I got it.". But I don't think I made that super clear. As for the "They'd" vs "They've", I feel like "They've" makes it sound like they're still going at it. I think 'they had' makes more sense... they're not now, but they had been going at it for a while previously. I dunno, that's just how I say it in my head anyway. This may just be the one point I disagree with you on. :P Anyway, either way I definitely still have a lot of room to improve here. It's going to be a long road before I'm making anything super worth while, but I'll keep at it.

Ruaidri

There are a few things I'd like to point out in here for the coloring of this page, and general overall going forward. As you know from me I can be harsh, but I do it because I want to give you real feedback. So, to begin. Panels #1 and #2 make Kyle look really, really small in comparison even to the 'average' sized female actor. Maybe it's because he's kneeling down, but even just his general proportions feel smaller that the relative size difference between him and the other actors in previous pages, especially panel #2. That's one of the things meant for 'general' going forward in the story rather than something to be fixed here, since his lines are so integrated into other characters. Kyle's expression in panel #4 feels ever so slightly off, but I couldn't tell you why and I don't think it's really any kind of issue. Just something that popped out to me real quick when I was going over everything. Dialogue is actually something I want to poke at in this page a bit. Kyle's "This bed is a bit of a mess" could use some disambiguation; is it physically messy, or is Kyle trying to get her moved by implying that the bed isn't a good place for her to lay on? The "I got it" from the stallion in panel #3 could be made into something less formal or succinct, maybe even removing the line altogether and just going with "Uh, sure..." trailing off with a little bit of confusion. "They'd been going at it..." in panel #5 would feel a bit more natural by changing "They'd" to "They've", making it, "They've been going at it for a while..." since it was happening until just a minute ago. Finally, the "Naw" Kyle says in the last dialogue bubble could probably be cut. It's an internal thought, usually people don't use conversational nuances like that in their own heads :P Anyways, take all this as suggestions and nothing more! Just trying to give you any feedback I can to help you improve. Also, our stallion friend has been sporting a full hardon this whole time... Professional.

Bloudin Ruo

Do not get in between a fox and cock.

These are the reactions I live for. x3 Soon, hopefully! Very soon!

Ruaidri

mmmph I wanna see that fox bitch take all of that horse dick! :P I feel like that horse right now! LOL I hate waiting xD

Matsi