Read the Label 71 - 75
Added 2023-04-05 15:40:00 +0000 UTC1 - And suddenly plot got relevant π
2 - Drama intensifies (again)
3 - I think she actually made some extra room with that π
Growth sequence poll will be uploaded tomorrow so... better realease this a bit early! Enjoy π
Comments
That's fair, you could probably leave the scene as is and alter the third scene by showing more of the character but leaving one or two things obscured, like their eyes for example or move the hands to her eyes and then change the tone of the message. Using weighty instead of serious might sound less tense and gives it a softer tone but might be on the nose. Hope this helps.
AncientTreeLord38!
2023-04-05 22:02:40 +0000 UTCI see your point, and I appreciate the feedback a lot. Still, I plan to do a little revision of what I planned for upcoming pages and how I'm leading the story to the big mystery reveal. I rather get off of some vibes that might lead to a misunderstanding of the theme of this story. Despite I'm playing around the idea of a "sentient thing" and an "addiction" to fuel the stuffing part, I'm definitely not going for the realistic/dark side of it.
Astraea-R
2023-04-05 21:35:31 +0000 UTCI guess so... yet I might do a revision on the pages, especially for upcoming ones. Both in the script and in my mind scene flowed as a surprise to add a slight bit of mystery, but nothing unpleasant. Even if the whole story featured sort of an addiction, it has never been my intention to go into a realistic/dark side. I'm more of writing silly/cute stuff with a bit of drama here and there But if that's the general impression people are getting from it, then it means I need to rethink the way I'm doing this part of the story
Astraea-R
2023-04-05 21:24:28 +0000 UTCJudging from the other comments, I do see their points, it did came as surprise. I actually like the horror addition even if it was accidental. I would not mind seeing more of it, even small innuendos once in a blue moon really spices things up in my opinion.
AncientTreeLord38!
2023-04-05 20:34:27 +0000 UTCOh no I did not in any way shape or form mean it as an insult or detriment. It was meant as a high compliment. I enjoy that for what could be a simple fetish plot *girl eats a lot gets fat* you went the extra mile to give it some spice. I really REALLY enjoy that aspect. Maybe I'm reading to much into it I dunno. But like I've done a lot of theory building on this story and the mystery behind it. It's part of why I enjoy it so much. So sorry if it came off as discouraging. I truly meant it as a compliment. Like I enjoy that someone like me can find a horror angle in all of this even if it's not the intent means it's very VERY well crafted~ ahh okay then. Weird tech issues then. Fair enough~
Barubary
2023-04-05 16:50:53 +0000 UTCSomething to do with the plot that will be revealed eventually... Heh, well, it's definitely getting intense, yet it still have some time before the big reveal
Astraea-R
2023-04-05 16:24:34 +0000 UTCI might have made some accidental bad vibes on this latest update... It wasn't really the intention to make it look like a horror story, but to add a little tension/drama around some parts of it to mix with the cute/sexy moments of stuffing. As for the burps... not really, her eyes have always been green. It might be the camera angle or the reflection I'm using (even the guy's hair looks slightly different, that's something to do with the maps light that I don't know how to solve π ) So, sorry if I made some bad impression about it. I'll keep it in mind
Astraea-R
2023-04-05 16:22:16 +0000 UTCWell the plot thickens... in more ways then one. First we have a kidnapping thus leaning me more and more that the thing in Kallen's belly does not have her best interest in mind or even really value anything about her... I suspected this but kinda pity all the same. Moving on from that though it is interesting that the last two times she's let out big burps her eyes get that weird green tint suggesting that it's controlling her. Which is interesting. I'm starting to feel bad for her honestly. Like... she has a moment where she regains control and realizes that something is wrong. This guy kinda ruins it. I think under normal situations there is a cute little romance going on here. But... this... this ain't it chief. Cause this honestly.. this is a horror story. Kudos to you that for all it's fetishy vibes like this is getting legit... unnerving to watch/read/look at with my eyeballs.
Barubary
2023-04-05 16:11:34 +0000 UTCI question what in the actual hell just happened. Did they just get kidnapped?! Though, I'll give the guy some credit for admitting how he feels about Kallen and her belly. Though, Good lord... Cleared out his Fridge AND All that Ice cream!? Suddenly, I feel that I would be right about her being able to clear out an entire convenience store of food. Whatever, is going on in her belly. It's getting more and more intense. So, A Sudden Kidnapping, Feelings admitted, and More questions about what's going on with her belly. Though, Love the Drama bomb. Nice job XD
Nex
2023-04-05 15:59:07 +0000 UTC
