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Chapter 07 of Broken Dreams is out for Squires!

Rhaella's PoVs stumping me like always, and it's very hard to get into her 'head'. Writing her is so slow, and I have to write something semi-childish while tinged with a sense of looming dread, which is testing my limits as a writer(not necessarily a bad thing). Never been that good with a child's PoV, so there's that too. For the next KL chapter, I might switch to someone else's PoV instead. Young Aerys would be wild af to write.

Do let me know if anything feels off (or if you liked the chapter).

Website Chapter.

Anyway, you can read the previous chapters in the collection.

Chapter 07 of Broken Dreams is out for Squires!

Comments

Great chapter. Very curious about Whitedream and who he will turn out to be, especially as he doesn't like the Children but calls them Singers, which means he's old and I'm thinking of First Men blood, but surprisingly aware of who's who and what's going on, for someone who claims he was sleep and close to fading forever. Or maybe he just used the time to tap into the Wierwood network and update himself, since Bloodraven isn't connected yet. I love the plot of Glenna as Queen and Tywin as good brother to Aerys. That might solve the birthing issue he had since Genna will probably be able to give him children as she doesn't have the very high incest quote causing birthing problems. Not sure of Tywin will look passively when it's his own sister being raped and mistreated. I hope Rhaella's plot works out.

Forest

Deliberate, because someone was uploading my things without my permission. I'll have a solution within a week or so(both for that, and for ease of reading)

Gladiusx

Very good chapter, I see Melony has become far more interesting. Rhaella has selected her replacement, and the introduction of Joanna Lannister. I wonder how that will play out given Aerys' affections for Joanna. Will he look at Genna as a poor replacement or with Genna there will he not be tempted by Joanna. Very curious indeed. On a side note, I normally download the chapters to add them to a folder I keep all of your works in, but apparently permissions have changed and I can't do that anymore. Was this deliberate and is there another way I can keep all of your chapters organised?

Alexander

I enjoyed this chapter. Rhaella is making some advancement in her surprisingly good plan. It has the added benefit of making Tywin her firm ally. For all of his many faults, Tywin sticks with those who stick with him. I wonder who Whitedream is, an OC maybe? Bloodraven’s predecessor tied to the trees? I’m still scratching my head over Egg’s depiction. However it is he got there, he’s just another Targ now. In canon, I always put him in the same category as Baelor Breakspear and maybe Maekar. Now he’s just another variant of Viserys I with a dash of Aerys II. Jon, as depicted in Rhaella’s dream, seems to have tremendous potential. I wonder if Bloodraven is trying to limit him or, better, taking his training slow.

stevem1

Who is Whitedream I wonder? I originally thought it was Brynden playing a part but he’s referred to Thousand Eyes so it’s probably not him.

Temp Email

Chapter 7 was vastly better at really giving the story bones imo. I liked it. We have plots, intrigue, ambition, and goals that one of our main characters is centered in. I feel like I finally got past the floating party h'or deurves that pass as a meal and to the actual meal.

Rhett Sellers

Still alive, will mention him on a second edit later on.

Gladiusx

Enjoyable as always. Did Doran die in the crib here? Gemma is n interesting choice, though certainly appropriate enough. Hopefully the scheme works. It'll be interesting to see how what looks like a conflict between White dream and the children plays out

Brewt

Thank you, and I do hope Rhaelle will be able to heal Elia somehow as she continues to learn her new abilities. I am glad that Whitedream told Rhaella about Melisandre. Great job as always, and I can't wait to see how Rhaella will continue to try and survive.

FallenMetalGod

Thanks for the chapter.

Janosch Mainz

A good chapter. It did feel a little tentative and without the same level of assuredness your writing usually has. As you say, it's good practice and you'll only get better. An Aerys chapter would be interesting, but I'd rather whatever was best for the plot, not that you wouldn't make that choice. If it means more Rhae chapters, then so be it. Looking forward to the next one.

Perraup


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