Anutka JPG

Pinuptober - Day 17 - Horns

Added 2024-09-13 20:33:07 +0000 UTC

Guys, it’s a long story… demons were sort of always around me, and every face-to-face encounter with them brings pain. I used to draw succubi often, but I never showed them to anyone. They were my way of expressing some deep thoughts and feelings. I was so unhappy with myself and went through a lot of suffering. Sometimes, it felt like I was falling, bare-backed, onto sharp rocks. It hurt, and it was hard.

Here’s one of the succubi I drew back then. I worked on her for a long time, with tears… I struggled to finish her. I didn’t know HOW to draw, didn’t know WHERE the shadows should go or WHY it even mattered. Most of all, besides me, I didn’t know WHO needed this. I desperately wanted it to matter to someone else. Whenever I picked up the pencil, I prayed that a teacher would come into my life and guide me on what was wrong with my drawings.

Years passed, and suddenly I realized… I’ve become that teacher myself. Funny how things turn out. This is the same succubus I once feared. But now, she’s my friend. I’ve redrawn her, and she’s different now. She’s mine. She doesn’t owe anyone anything anymore. And she’s beautiful.